Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I Wanna Be A Protestant!

      The following is not about how I came to Christ. It's about an "incident" that pretty much got me to thinking of "getting out" of Catholicism at an early age.

      For info on salvation & certainty in eternity click here (Have a bible handy.). Skip over the first half as it's a satiric look at Harold Camping, Hal Lindsey & other date setters combined with material from the Neon Genesis Evangelion anime series.

                                             I Wanna Be A Protestant!


                                                                  Jay Agan

      Thanksgiving, 1967 & it's off to the grandparents in Elmira, NY. Alright! A solid week of TV shows/cartoons (This is how I really became cognizant of anime!) & scarey movies we couldn't catch in Ohio (Cable TV from New York City! For more on that click here & here.). One thing wrong. An aunt was getting married that week.

      Now what is it good Catholics have at a typical Catholic wedding? High Mass!

      Mass, or Catholic church services, entail a LOT tedious ritual including bell ringing, chanting, praying pre-set prayers aloud, "aerobics" (Kneel, sit, stand, beat your chest, sit, kneel, stand, genuflect, stand, kneel, sit, stand, kneel, cross yourself, sit, stand, kneel, etc.), and a long winded sermon all the kids & at least half  the adults didn't understand. Regular mass took at least more than an hour & high mass up to two. The spiritual effect on a thirteen year old? ZERO!

       This, coupled with a wedding, put most kids into a catatonic stupor. At least we got to unwind at the wedding reception.

Yes .... the resemblance is ..... uncanny.

       Next day, Thanksgiving. What do good Catholics do on Thanksgiving? Especially if they overslept from yesterdays' festivities thus missing the shorter services? High Mass!

       High Mass..... Twice ..... In as many days. Hhhhhhhnnnnnngh!

      A two day respite then Sunday. What do good Catholics do on Sunday? Especially if it took a while readying for the trip back home thus missing earlier services? High Mass ..... AGAIN!

      This was made doubly miserable by the fact we had an 8+ hour trip back to central Ohio plus a 90 minute + leg to military school for me.

      St. Aloysius Military Academy. Run by the Franciscan order of nuns. Though Vatican II was in effect, you couldn't tell if they knew it or not. V1 from before the word go. I was so looking forward to getting back there ..... NOT!

      It was soon after I resolved to become a Protestant. Whatever that was .....

                                      Article copyright © 11-8-2011 Jay Agan

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.


  1. Mmmmmmm...smells 'n' bells!

    Fascinating look at this. The pageantry is overwhelming and mind-crushing. I am reminded of the Guild navigator's enormous tank in the DUNE movie by Lynch. You just don't want to get in the way of that.

  2. OH! While I am un-fond of the theological tenor of much of his work, I am nonetheless a fan of Jack Chick's tracts. COnceptually, the illustrated Gospel tract range is unequalled; no-one does them better than Chick. His anti-Catholic doctrine titles are breathtaking. "The Death Cookie" is about the whole reverencing the Host thing.

  3. I love Jack Chicks' stuff! Theyr'e so bad & so good at the same time.

    I remember reading somewhere some people made a bogus "Chick" tract as a satire/joke. They tried to get as "out there" as they could. When they found people were actually committing to Christ through it, they stopped publication! Sort of like when Verhoven tried to make Starship Troopers as "bad" as possible, he ended up with something more "Heinlienesque" than the original. The audience, military buffs, & even the military loved it!

  4. Yet another loathsome comic link:


    Enjoy! May you be the first eaten! Ia, ia.

  5. Here's one you might like:



  6. That is not dead which can eternal lie.
    And with strange aeons even death may die.

  7. That is not dull which can eternal joke.
    And with weird aeons even death may croak.