I Don't Read Comic Books Anymore

It's gotta' be evil if the Red Skull says it!
Tolerance, by the way, is how far you can
stress or bend a part before it breaks.

I Don't Read Comic Books Anymore


Or, for that matter, watch cartoons much ... Unless it's anime.

In the space of a week I find they're trying to make Captain America a queer and now this crap:

Remember kiddies ... a REAL American wouldn't say things like this. A real American
wants any and all featherless bipeds capable of pulling a lever in a voting booth to
come here and partake of as much free goodies and political power they can get here
in the great Wal-Mart to the north.

It reminds me of the All In the Family TV show. Every so often Archie says something that makes perfect sense among all the scripted negative propaganda he spouts, but ... since it's Archie saying it ... IT'S GOTTA' BE WRONG!

A better show at the time was Wait 'Til Your Father Gets Home. A two season adult oriented cartoon by the Hanna/Barbera team. About "middle of the road" Harry Boyles' (Tom Bosley) trials and tribulations of then present day America.

True, the right was really put down in that show what with crazy neighbor Ralphs' (Jack Burns) racist/anti-semite vigilante group and Harrys' youngest as a grasping little capitalist.

The show also showed what a couple of boorish little hypocrites his left leaning teenage son and daughter were.

The show was "balanced". I liked that.

This present situation kind of reminds me when AC/DC ... er ... DC Comics had Batman running around promoting gun control. More than likely because it would have looked really lame with Superman doing it.


Ex-Army blog article where I got the above graphics here.

Ex-Army blog main page here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here. Ifn' ya' sees any articles under this 'un, yer already there. Up ... up ... and AWAY!

Shooting Range Herp n' Derp

Disclaimer: The following is NOT meant to promote racial hatred/ridicule. I thought this little vignette to be of interest to anime fans & anyone else interested in "all things Japan".
                       
                                          Shooting Range Herp n' Derp

                                                            by

                                                                Jay Agan

      Back in the 90s I worked at a gun store/pistol range in Powell, Ohio. Due to the varied corporate/industrial infrastructure of Central Ohio & the uniqueness of my workplace, I got to meet a lot of interesting folks. Some of whom were from Japan.

      It was during this time I collected comic books (Manga sounds like some kind of fruit.), & was in my VHS heyday. Because of this I got the idea to study Japanese. With a workbook & flashcards made out of 3x5s, I was able to build up a vocabulary of about 500 words & phrases in less than 3 months.

      Japanese is a surprisingly easy language to learn. Half of what I learned was actually "mispronounced" English (Don't use V,L,F & Th sounds & put vowel sounds between consonants.). Couple it with a "sideways" sentence structure & there you have it: You build up a vocabulary & think like Yoda ..... or ..... Vocabulary build up you & Yoda like think.

      Of course I didn't have a great command of the language. It was enough I could watch a movie & not need the subtitles. I remember viewing a showing of My Neighbor Totoro at a MARCON convention in Columbus & not having any problems with what was being said (For some reason, it didn't have subtitles but was able to follow along quite well.).

      Needless to say, I had plenty of opportunity to try it out on unsuspecting customers at work ..... & commit a faux pas here & there. The only thing funnier than greeting a Chinese person (OOPS!) with "konichiwa" is the strange look in return. (Usually I can tell the various ethnicities apart. I still made mistakes.) I learned early to wait until one spoke to another before going baka.

      This also worked in reverse. Though English is taught in their schools & they take courses by their various companies before coming here for their two/three year hitch, some still have a little trouble with the lingo. This lead to more than one amusing incident at work.

      Not meaning to get off the track, but on Tuesday, the beginning of my work week, the "giggle button" on me was rather hard to find. By Sunday, I could be "touched" anywhere & I'd explode.

      So in he comes. Typical "salaryman" type (Business suit, hair proportionly parted, etc.). Obviously never held a gun in his life. Eyes wide, staring all over the shop, trying to comprehend the scene (These crazy, gaijin Americans really DO like guns!).

      After a minute or so, he approached the counter &, I kid you not, the wide eyed innocent asked in a very sincere voice & expression:

      "Can ..... I ..... get ..... shot ..... here?"

      Knowing it's not polite to go off laughing/howling in someones' face, I immediately excused myself, guts seizing up, & hurried to the back room a few steps away. It hurts bad enough when I can laugh out loud, but to suppress it? Auuuugh! Painful!

      There I am, jumping up & down, gasping for air, excruciating pain in both sides shooting spikes through me. Man! It felt like I was getting the krap beat out of me, it hurt so bad.

      Talk about asking for it! All I could think of was:

      "Sure! We aim to please! (draws out the .45) Hold still!"

      "Honest officer! You CAN'T arrest me! He wanted it! Really!"

      Getting as much out of my system in as short a time as possible, I grabbed the Kanji/Hirugana/Katakana range rules sheet (Someone from the Marysville Honda plant had it made up for us.) & took it to the gentleman at the counter. He seemed quite happy to see it & read it intently, not noticing my facial contortions as the shakes & giggles started coming back in full force. It was a good thing he took his time reading it. I was able to return to the back room, "redrain" myself & collect my fragile composure.

      I was finally settled down enough to answer questions with a straight(?) face & set him up for the range: .38, box of ammo, eye/ear protection, etc. & getting the range use agreement signed. After spending about 10 minutes with him on the range I left him to himself watching as closely/discreetly as possible.

      He seemed to thouroughly enjoy himself & left satisfied. That made two of us.

      My sides hurt all the next day.

      I would like to thank Weatherly Hardy for explaining to me the meaning of herp derp.

                                          Article copyright © 5-19-2011 Jay Agan

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Strange Young Lady, Strange Little Movie

                                           Strange Young Lady, Strange Little Movie

                                                                           by

                                                                              Jay Agan

      I was cashiering at an unmentionable, cut rate, regional, merchandising, chainstore where I met an unusual co-worker. I noticed she would dye her hair (Death black, Chernobyl red, Jolly Ollie orange.) at regular intervals. Didn't think much of it at first though it certainly got the attention.

      A couple months into her employment, I found, through a chance discussion about movies, that she liked anime. (That certainly explained the interesting hair colorations.) This rekindled an old interest I had in the genre. By that time I had been collecting movies for a couple years & was seeking to expand in another direction. Anime seemed a colorful way of doing so & I haven't looked back scince.

      It wasn't only anime she was into, but all things Japanese. And she seemed such an intelligent person. She could speak German, & her Japanese was quite good. Not your typical anime geek, otaku, or Japanophile or whatever it was she considered herself. She told me she had Japanese ancestry (Which I found VERY hard to believe.) A chance meeting with her dad in the checkout line revealed she was about as Japanese as Irish stew.

      Getting to know her better as time went on, I would kid her about her interest in "them there furrin' cartoons". At times she would act rather sensitive about it. I'd say "cartoons", she'd say "anime" (Sometimes "ANIME ---- it!"). I'd say "comic books", she'd say "manga". She'd say "Banzai!", I'd say "John Wayne". You get the idea.

      We had this informal, on again/off again, semi-friendly feud for quite some time. I rather enjoyed it though she wasn't always receptive &, at times, rather peeved.

      One day. She did something ..... awful.

      Knowing I was into sci-fi & horror, she suggested I check out a certain Japanese made horror film. As it was a recently made flick, I was somewhat reluctant. I have an aversion to "modern" horror as they go for the gore, leaving plot & story behind. Most of my flicks were made before 1980 as I'm pretty much "old school" when it comes to horror (Price, Lugosi, Karloff, etc.)

      Knowing the Japanese do things differently, (As one fellow stated on the Universal Monster Army message board: "The Japanese are 30% weirder than the west. And I mean that in a good way."), I bought the flick cold, sight unseen. Something I rarely do. Oh yes. Name of the film: Audition.

      This is not a review, but I will say this film is not so much a horror film as it is a horror. The first 3/4 is a slow building psycho-drama. the last 1/4 ..... excriutiating. Agonisingly, tooth watering, ..... excriutiatingly PAINFUL to view.

      I'm there ..... watching. Hands gripping armrests, fingers convulsingly impressing prints into the wood. Sometimes, sitting sideways, hand over one eye. No screaming or yelling. Only little mewling squeals & gurgles welling up from the bottom of my throat, sometimes spasming into "Oh ..... my .....GOD!". My teeth & jaws hurt so much from all that gnashing & clenching.

      I know the guys' intentions were less than honorable, but ..... did he really deserve ..... that? I will never listen to the prelude of Bizets' Carmen the same way again. If you want to find out what happens in this movie, by all means, see it for yourself. Better yet, by all means, DON'T!

      For days (Weeks!) after, my workplace "friend" would taunt me with that weird little sound the movies' psycho-babe made while manipulating acupuncture needles:

      "Deeki deeki deekideeeee!" (Subtitles said, "deeper! deeper!)

      My usual procedure with flicks I'm less than satisfied with is to either give them away (I'd rather a movie is appreciated elswhere, than sit on a thrift store shelf.), or in this case, throw it out (Save the cases when you do that. They come in handy if you're a collecter.). As I was about to toss it, a thought occured to me (Yes, it does hurt when that happens!). I'll give it to a close friend.

      This friend is an interesting guy: Been in the service over twenty years. Well read/educated, PHD in history. Works for the government (So he's not ALL good, what the hey.). Part time college professor. Traveled the world, "Been there, done that." (At least twice.) Seen some combat (Doesn't care to talk about it.) The closest I've seen to a "Renaissance Man".

      So it was with some fascination/amazement/amusement I saw this guy get unhinged over a viewing of The Silence of the Lambs some years before.

      "Jay? ..... Jay! What's happening next!? What now!?"

      Gave him a sing songy, "not gonna tell ya, har har har!"

      "C'mon Jay!"

      "No way! Snicker, chortle!"

      "Agan ----it!"

      "Hee hee hee hee!" So it went. At times, my mind is not well.

      On one of his travels through, I dropped a bag of movies on him, making it a point to see this particular flick.

      Two weeks later, he calls me up for the express purpose of telling me what a vile piece of crud I am. Seems he made the mistake of watching it with his newly married wife. Now she has more doubts about me than before. (Due to the machinations of aforesaid merchandising chain, I missed their wedding & never met her. What George told her about me must have been interesting enough. Audition did not help.)

      Later, he got the urge to "share the love" & lent the disc to someone at his place of work. Now he's looked askance of by a couple other people.

      The world can be a brighter, better place if even only a few of us "pass it forward". I know it has for several other folks. All thanks is due to a rather strange young lady I met at work.

      You didn't think I was gonna blame myself ..... did you?

                                                       Article copyright © Jay Agan

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.