Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women ...

No, I'm not getting commissions pushing this. I just think this is funny.

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women...


10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason why men prefer guns over women...

1. You can buy a silencer for a gun!

Original advertisement for Ten Reasons sign at Patriot Depot here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Azumanga Daioh, the Abridged Series An Episodic Review

                                       Azumanga Daioh, the Abridged Series

                                                     An Episodic Review

                                                                  by

                                                                     Jay Agan

      This is a short (5 eps), sweet (Each less than 5 minutes.) little parody that got more than a few laffs out of me. Azumanga Daioh screams Parody Me! & there are more than a ton of them on You Tube. This has to be one of the best.

      1. Day One- We're introduced to the main characters. High points:

      Chiyo: "I'm supposed to tell you I'm a prodigy student but lying makes me feel bad inside."

      We find Osakas' original nick-name was Xanax at her old school because of episodic reactions. Tomo promises her quite a hazing in the next ep.

      Tomo: "Kill ya tomorrow newbie!"

      Osaka: "The more things change, ..... the more they suck!"

      2. Initiation- Osaka tries to concentrate on avoiding "that hyperactive girl" but is distracted by the posterior of a male student at the blackboard ("Oooo! Osaka likeee!"). Tomo & the others finally latch onto her &: Cafeteria food (Barf!), motor skills (fail), chugging (More barf!), & the old standby, beatings.

      Sakaki: "Oh! You guys started without me. Thanks a friggin' lot!"

      Osaka: "If it makes you feel any better, they haven't broken my spirit! My chest plate maybe ..... but not my spirit!"

      Yomi: "I admit. I thought you'd lose conciousness or start crying like a baby ..... like the ten year old."

      Osaka realizes they did it out of love & "..... for everything you've done to me, I promise ..... REVENGE!"

      3. Spending Time Wasted- Chiyo explains her wealth comes from a school tax exemption. Yukari starts a fire at school so she can leave work early & get drunk.

      Minamo: "..... stop dancing in front of children like that. It's disgraceful!"

      Chiyo: "You can start pole dancing for all I care. Just let me go back to my old school!"

      4. Master Plan- Chiyo attempts to drown Yukari. The kids find out Kimura's a pedo & plot to land him in jail but he "buys them off".

      Chiyo: "I'm sure glad I'm not you girls. There's no way he'd be interested in someone my age ..... right?" (Just goes to show, being a genius doesn't necessarily mean you're smart!)

      Tomo: "Yomi, you've compromised our safety for the next three years. But this ice cream is pretty good."

      Yomi: "Yeah. I'd say it was an even trade."

      5. Excursion- Instead of going to Sea World, the teachers decide to accompany the kids to Chiyos' summer home instead. Chiyos' little monologue on how she spends her wealth & spare time is a hoot & and a half.

      Yukari: "Who wants to ride with their favorite teacher?"

      Osaka: "The scent of death is on this car ..... It's fresh!"

      Osaka: "She tries to play on a Game Boy! While drivin'!"

      There are too many more yucks n' chuckles in this last ep so I'll leave them to you to experience.

      Chiyo: "Osaka tried to kill me with a firecracker! I wanna go home!"

                                        Article copyright © 3-31-2011 Jay Agan

Episode 1: Azumanga Daioh the Abridged Series here.

Azumanga Daioh, Too ..... Much ..... Cute here.

Where Are They Now? The Kids of Azumanga Daioh here.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.

Those Girly Little Animes

                                                          
                                                           Those Girly Little Animes

                                                                            by

                                                                              Kevin Rood

                                                           
                                                            In the Land of La De Dah,

                                         Where nothing bad ..... ever ..... really ..... happens,

                                                                          Comes .....

                                                                SPARKLE VOMIT!

                                                                 So sickenly sweet!

                                                               So nauseatingly nice!

                                                       So ..... too ..... cute ..... to ..... live.

                            She'll have you hypoglycemic & bouncing off the walls in no time at all!

     So join Sparkle, with her school uniformed & irritatingly voiced friends, Darley, Delmer & Claude, as they have fun, swell, happy adventures in the Land of La De Dah.

                                   Give your heart (& guts) a tug. Take the whole family to see.....

                                                                   SPARKLE VOMIT!

                                                                        At this theater.

     "Pika! Pika!"

     "Oh, shut up!"

                                                         
                                                          Article copyright © Kevin Rood

Go to Main Page here.

Dr. Strangelove: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Annihilation

   

              Dr. Strangelove: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Annihilation

                                                                 by

                                                                    Jay Agan

       Somewhere in the 90s.

      The Ohio Theatre was going to have a showing of  Stanley Kubricks', Dr. Strangelove that Sunday night. Alright! DS on the big screen. Had to see it. So I get off work, grab a parking space under the Statehouse & go in. Waiting for the flick to start, I look around & notice something familiar about the other patrons.

      This takes a little telling. I had seen Strangelove back in '88 at the Columbus Museum of  "Art" on a much smaller screen. The other attendees were of the "smart" set. You know. "Hipsters", parlor pinks, cocktail commies, etc. Needless to say, I was laughing along with them though for different reasons.

      It was pretty much the same at the Ohio Theater except for one notable exception. Col. Jack D. Rippers' (Sterling Hayden) rant at Capt. Mandrake (Peter Sellers) about flouridation. I remember the '88 audience getting quite a giggle over that one. The threat of flouridation was stock in trade of the whacky right wing back then. So I was pretty much prepared for the "morally annointed" to break up  over it this time around.

      "Great. Here it comes," I thought.

      Weird. Only a muted chuckle here & there, more of a reflex action being suppressed. The vast majority of the attendees were quiet. Even attentive. What the......?

       It was the only "bad" part of an enjoyable viewing experience. I pondered it for days.

      A couple regular customers at work clued me in after telling them about it: Between then & "now", government health studies found flouride to be a carcinogen. Guess Col. Ripper wasn't as much a whack job as originally thought. From commie plot to health hazzard. Who'd a thunk it?

                                                   Article copyright © Jay Agan

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It's A Mind Game, Right, Right? The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya Pt. 2

Credit: Nagaru Tanigawa, Noizi Ito, Kadowkawa Shoten,
& Kyoto Animation.

                                    

                                    The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 2

                                                                  by

                                                                     Jay Agan

      
      So what is it about The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya  that's had anime fandom by the short hairs since 2006? Sure, the concept, plot, storyline, & stand alone eps are great. Animation, artwork, music (both original & use of classical), are more than well done. These, of course go a long way in ensuring the success of a show. But there's more to it than the sum of the above. I think it's the little brain whacks you're hit with from time to time. They certainly make it for me. Here's a few.

       First, there's the convoluted plot from the light novels made even more so when it was put to the screen. As a result, there are two "seasons". Certain selected story arcs were used for the first season leaving out intertwining events/episodes from other arcs thus leaving "gaps". Not that you'd notice. Second season (Of which I have every intention of getting.) includes the 14 eps of the first plus another 14 with extra material, thus most of the gaps filled. Because of this curious way of producing a program, the show can be viewed three or more(?) ways: Broadcast, "chronological", or DVD. It all makes for a seemingly well thought out tapestry where everything is connected & not as confusing as one might think.

      An interesting little order anomoly is ep 00 of season one: The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina, an amateur film made by Haruhi & the gang as a school project. It's also the "final" ep in The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya story arc from the SECOND season. One wonders why this would be a first ep as the "movie" seemingly makes no sense at all. A subsequent viewing after watching the first season, has all these little details jumping out at you (Oh! Now I get it! Don't know what it is, but I get it! Huh?). It's also a great little study on how NOT to make a movie (Turn off auto focus. Have an actual script & shooting schedule. Get people who can ACT, etc.).

      The Sigh arc, by the way, shows what an inconsiderate, abusive, little jerk the title character can be, resulting in the best & worst scene in the series. Best, as Kyon is about to deck her for her abusing Mikuru (Liquoring her up to make her more compliant for the movie.). Worst as Itsuke stops him (So what if the world could end? Supreme being or not, the kid's got it coming!)

       I find the first few seconds of the first season opening credits sequence, interesting. (I understand a new one has replaced it for season two. It's nice but I really like the first.) A long shot of title character looking up longingly at the night sky. "Camera" sweeps in, accompanied by the sound of church bells & the singing of the first line to the opening number ("The answer is always in my heart."). The heavens open up, a hand reaches down. As she clasps it, the look on her face transforms from absolute, dumfounded surprise to sheer, total, joy of the moment. She's found it! Or it's found her! (Rapture believers, take note.) Amazing how the manipulation of a line or three of a subjects face can make for such a great effect.

       In ep 06/05 (Season 1/season2. I refer to the dvd order.), the Anthropic Principle is set straight. The universe is NOT the way it is because mankind sees it that way. It's as it is because Haruhi sees it as just so. Well I guess that pretty much settles that. One can rest easier in knowing. Vox Haruhi. Vox Dei.  

       The series is like one of those movies (ex. The Wrong Box) where you see something new every time you view it. There's always something going on in the fore/background, some related to not only the ep being viewed, but to later ones. Ex: In ep 07/06 we briefly see two members of the ENOZ rock band practicing under a tree, in a long shot toward the end. They don't show up again until ep 12/26, Live Alive, which has a lot of fore/background action itself.

       The anticlimatic last ep, Someday In the Rain, depicts a rather "ordinary" day for the members of the aptly named SOS brigade. Haruhi, being the user she is, & Kyon, Mikuru, & weasel Itsuke, being the "victims" they are. The only "extraordinary" thing happening is a long sequence of Yuki, "on station", seated, back to the camera, reading a book as we hear events in the school building taking place around her. We've all heard of "the banality of evil". Is this epsode an illustration of "the banality of the divine"? Haruhis' last gesture pretty much says it all. I guess the joke's on us.
   
       Next week: The third and last part of The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya. The head trips within  the biggest head trip of the series. "See" ya then.


Article copyright © 10-11-2010 Jay Agan

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya Pt. 1

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya Pt. 3

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DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya, Pt. 1

The "gang of five" in the school clubroom.. L-R Kyon, Whack Goddess of
the Universe Haruhi Suzumiya, Mikuru Asahina, Itsuke Koizume, & Yuki
Nagato. Credit: Kyoto Animation

                                                                              
                                     The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya, Pt. 1

                                                               by

                                                                  Jay Agan

      When The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya first came out, I paid no mind. On the surface it looked like another of those countless moe/schoolgirl shows giving anime a bad name. I'm not into this type of sub-genre & the only Moe I'm a fan of is a one Mr. Howard of an ancient comedy trio you young-uns hardly know about. Not caring for any of that rule 34/jailbait fodder, I gave it a pass (I like my women real & of legal age. Some of you folks make me wonder.)

  

      I figured it was also a Scooby Doo rip-off: Out of control little control freak forms an after school club investigating psychic phenomena & weird happenings. Ho-hum. Later, in passing, I read that three of the four she "dragoons" into the club, are the very people she's looking for. An esper, a time traveler, & an alien. A Scooby Doo rip-off with a twist. More ho-hum.

   

      Leafing through a copy of Anime Rough Guide, I read a more concise brief about this show on p.227. Seems the title character is (unknowingly)......GOD! Oh? And it's up to her four "friends"    to see she doesn't get bored &/or disturbed overmuch. Otherwise existance gets wiped & replaced with something else. Attention Deficit Disorder was also mentioned. O....K....

  

      As an ex-divinity student (I'm not a people person.), I got interested. If a story has a subject I find intrigueing I'm willing to let some things slide. I filed the show in the back of my mind & went my rollicking way.

  

      A few weeks later found me at the VGMX on Smokey Row in Columbus stoogeing around for flix (They actually had some Mexican horror films!) In the anime section I found the ep 00-03 disc of the first season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. 9.95 used, I snapped it up. (Episode guide.)

  

      On viewing, I was pleasantly surprised to find not only is it a satire on theology & metaphysics, but also a multilevel elbow jab at:

      1. Anime in general.

      2. Various types of anime sub-genres/fans/"fetishes".

      3. Itself. (It is an anime, after all.)

  

     A review of the principal "cast" pretty much sums up the plot as much as anything else:

  

      Irritating, laid back esper, Itsuke Koizume: His organisation believes the title character to be God, or at least someone with god-like powers. Main task is to undo/prevent some of the "damage" when Haruhi goes off the deep end.

  

      Dead pan alien, Yuki Nagato: Humanoid interface/physical extension of the Integrated Data Entity observing this galaxy. Powers similar to Haruhis' but can only manipulate data/reality already existant (Haruhi can create it out of nothing.). Believes Haruhi to be possible key to her/its own "evolution". Also does "damage control". Lots of it!

  

      Nervous time traveler, Traci Lords......er, uh,..... Mikuru Asahina: Sent by her group to find out why they can't go beyond a point three years in the past. Believe Haruhi to be the cause.

  

      Put-upon Kyon: The poor slob who pays & pays for the mistake of putting a bug in Haruhis' ear about her getting more pro-active in her life. And unfortunately, his & everyone elses'.

  

      Oblivious diety, Haruhi Suzumiya, (aka Goddess Dingbat): Literal center of the universe. Doesn't know she's God, but thats' never stopped her.

     I would like to conclude this first part, with a caveat. Some scenes in eps 01-03 are inappropriate for children. Wether Haruhi swings both ways or is just testing Kyon (He intervenes.), sexual harrassment, no matter who does it & why, is not a laughing matter. At first, I thought I was going to have to toss this. As not much is shown & Kyon mans up & steps in, I let this slide. In later eps. the title character just seems to regard Mikuru as a very unwilling dress-up doll. (Then again what's up with that ear bite in ep. 07? Some wranglers do that to control horses.)

  

      Concluding installment will be a listing of the little "head trips" I found in this series. "See" you then......

Article copyright 10-1-2010 © Jay Agan

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya Pt. 2

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya Pt. 3

Go to MAIN PAGE.

      
                                                        
DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.