Friday, August 30, 2013

Switzerland Opens Drive-In Sex Boxes To Make Prostitution Safer

Yeah ... I know .... Article has nothing to do with Gurren Lagann.
Howsomever ... SEX SELLS!

Switzerland Opens Drive-In Sex Boxes To Make Prostitution Safer

Interesting article. Not exactly how I would handle it, but ...

Personally, I wouldn't patronize hookers for various reasons, not the least of which is ... God don't like it. Be that as it may, it's a personal choice and the RISKS AND CONSEQUENCES, spiritual and otherwise, are yours.

As for government regs, it should be to keep that business out of residential areas and other parts of town and ... kill the pimps.

Pimps serve no purpose. These predators should be rounded up and disposed of.

As for hookers themselves, I may look askance of them but I trust them more. At least with a hooker you KNOW what you're getting right from the start ... With the likes of John McCain & others of his useless kind, you don't.

I will never EVER equate hookers to be on the same level as politicians. That would be an insult to the worlds' oldest profession.

Just sayin' ...

Telegraph news article link here.

A Few Words To John McCain here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic And The Blaspheming Of Haruhi Suzumiya


My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic And The Blaspheming Of Haruhi Suzumiya

It pains me to see how far this MLP madness/heresy has permeated any and all it comes into contact with. Even the Goddess has been profaned! So much so ... :

Eeeeevil! ... Total ... EEEEEVIL!

Could it get any worse? Yes! ... Oh yes! ... It ... has ... :

Any words I could think of cannot describe how creepy this is.
Wrong! ... So ... wrong ...

Haruhi-ism: Orthodoxy Is Important! here.

How ... How DARE He! ... The Offending Of Haruhi Suzumiya here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Friday, August 23, 2013

My Little Evangelion: I AM (Getting) REALLY ILL!

As if it wasn't enough I had to worry about getting glopped by a pale, red eyed,
blue haired chick. Now it's going to be a ... a ... a pegacorn?

My Little Evangelion: I AM (Getting) REALLY ILL!

No! ... This ... This isn't right.

Sickly sweet, syrupy, sacharrine being added to the END OF THE WORLD? Has it really come to ... this?:

Wasn't Pen Pen enough cute for these films?

Perhaps it would be better if it was this:

"Oh no! Harold Camping WAS RIGHT!"

I fear what the future holds ...

By the way, I got the above illustrations here. specializes in MLP illustrations.

End of Evangelion: This Is (Really) Disturbing here.

Beyond Wrong and Wonderful: An End of Evangelion/Azumanga Daioh Crossover Fanfiction here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I Want My Girls und Panzer! ... NOW!

Oarai Academys' lead Panzerfahren team outside the Waco dept. store (Thank you
Mr. Vaquer!). L-R: Saori Takebi, Mako Reizei, Miho Nishizumi, Yukari Akiyama,
and Hana Isuzu

I Want My Girls und Panzer! ... NOW!


I understand Girls und Panzer is slated by Sentai Filmworks (aka: Not ADVision) for a December disk release.

Dang! That means another three month wait.

Hopefully it will be in a complete box set with a decent dub at a decent price ($39.95 maybe?). Don't care for a "dribs 'n drabs", one disk at a time/three episodes per, costing an arm 'n a leg each. Aniplex USA is doing that with Madoka Magica thus delaying my getting THAT, big time!

Three months ...

I could be DEAD by then! Tanks a LOT Sentai!

Sentai Filmworks website here.

Aniplex USA website here.

Original (In Japanese.) trailer for Girls und Panzer here.

Shorter (Also in Japanese.) trailer for Gup here.

More "accurate" fan made trailer here. Rammstein!

Sentai Filmworks official (In English.) trailer here.

Wikipedia Girls und Panzer article here.

Wikipedia Upotte!! article here.

Wikipedia Puella Magi Madoka Magica article here.

Armands' Rancho del Cielo blog here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Girls und Panzerlied: A Girls und Panzer/Battle of the Bulge Crossover Fan Fiction

His exploits, both east & west fronts were the stuff of legend.

Girls und Panzerlied

A Girls und Panzer/Battle of the Bulge Crossover Fan Fiction


C V Ford

Lecture/Q&A over, the not so old looking old man took his seat behind the table next to the Oarai hangers' stage for the inevitable autograph session. His policy was not to sell any of his books on tour. He felt if any were sincere in their interest & not just autograph hounds, they would already have gotten & READ his works.

And READ they did. His numerous articles were quite popular in papers, magazines and the net. His several books on military history as well as autobiography were not only best sellers but consistant chart toppers.

Not only were his writings fascinating but so was he.

Martin Hessler was an anomoly. Anyone born early in the last century had no business running around well into the 21st. Square jawed, lean and muscular, though wearing a three piece suit, he looked every bit the Wehrmacht officer he once was. A veteran of the Second World War as a panzer commander & of countless skirmishes after in service to the French Foriegn Legion, his auto-biography read like a fantastic action/adventure story with seemingly no end.

His exploits, both east & west fronts were the stuff of legend. So much so, the Fuhrer himself hand picked him as the tip of the spearhead of one of the main drives in the Ardennes Offensive. As many of those who opposed him on the battlefield would say, "He didn't get that Iron Cross out of a cereal box."

One would have thought his career as well as life over at one point. Badly burned, crawling out of his flaming tank in a failed attempt seize an American fuel depot, he was captured and eventually incarcerated under the squalid conditions of a French PW camp. His career was saved by the French re-yearning for empire as he & many others readily volunteered for the Legion when its recriuters toured the camps.

He & his comrades, German & otherwise, did well against the Viet Minh as they were looked on as more of the ideological enemy they had fought in the Soviet Union. As they did well, so did France. Until pressure from the opposition press at home made the government withdraw the "Nazis" out. Like most, being apolitical, he could only look on such military suicide with contempt.

He soldiered on through the Algerian affair, the Suez debacle & a succession of conflagrations across the length & breadth of central Africa for the Legion. He then retired in the '70s, an officer in the Legion & a citizen of France, retaining his German citizenship.

Through business partnerships & the help of connections made over his years of military service, he became a successful investor. With first hand knowledge of the ups & downs of central African geopolitics, he was able to make one killing after another in the oil & mineral industries. Knowing how to "read" Africa, he knew when to get "in" & when to get "out".

He was well into his 90s when he thought his life at an end, but fate pulled a trick on him. Little did he know, when he willed his body over for research, he had signed it over to science ... fiction.

Some scientists working on the Human Genome Project, on examining his records, found him to be a more than perfect genetic subject for various forms of radical/unorthodox cell regeneration & age reversal research/experimentation. Only a handful had been "lucky" enough to be suitable for such measures to work. Through a several years long process he was "reborn". Reborn into ...

The world changed radically in the decades after. Knowledge increased at rates faster than before. Advancements in science more so. Famine, hunger, disease decreased with population numbers shrinking then remaining stable. Poverty much less, prosperity much more.

War decreased to a marked degree. So much so, an entertainment hungry world population had taken to it as a spectator sport. This, of course initially appalled Hessler.

Taking advantage of his new found youth or rather middle age, he threw himself into a new career as a writer. In one article after another, he condemned/reviled warfare as a form of entertainment. It WASN'T a game ... In his day, it was "played" for serious reasons & for keeps ... With NONE of those special conditions & risk reducing measures making the possibility of death almost nil.

He wasn't "blind" to the technologies making it "safe". He & comrades past would have been ecstatic to have used such back in the day.

From the professional level on down through university & even high school, warfare as a sport permeated. Not only young men & boys but girls. Little girls! Most not much younger than the boys sent to fight under him at the behest of a desperate Fuhrer so long ago.

Through business & political contacts, he eventually found there was more to "warfare as entertainment" than first thought. With mans' now more than enthusiastic ventures into space, there was some worry as to what would be encountered "out there". Drake Equation or no, circles higher up expressed reason for concern.

Because of that, Hessler, with initial reluctance, came to writing articles favorable of the various competitions. His private belief in they were useful for the "conditioning" of the young in any genuine future struggles.

Hessler paid particular attention to Panzerfahren. Armor was in his blood after all.

He initially had problems getting over the seeming unrealism as well as the perceived frivolity. Everyone surviving mostly unhurt. The autobahn speeds the vehicles put on. The total absence of enemy air power, artillery, & infantry to contend with. Having been on the receiving end, the colonel knew full well what rocket laden aircraft could do to an armored unit ... And how inventive enemy infantry could be when a vehicle wasn't moving fast enough. Visions of flaming fuel drums rolling toward his Tiger still haunted his dreams so many years after ...

Instead, it was either a mobile version of "Capture the Flag" or what the Americans called "Demolition Derby". The Derby part he could understand. There were many times back in the day when it was only tank vs tank.

He had met such "Rommel groupies" before ...

His reflections on these and other things were brought up short as the first of the autograph seekers approached. After a few signings with accompanying small talk, a singular figure appeared before him.

He suppressed an initial reflex action to roll his eyes. He had met such "Rommel groupies" before, usually dismissing them as the cosplayers they were ... But ...

He noted her from before during the vehicle inspection & lecture. Quiet, spoke only when spoken to. Even posed a more than reasonably intelligent question during Q&A.

The fact she was a member of the Oarai Academy Panzerfahren team showed she wasn't only a "buff". Watching films of past bouts revealed to Hessler she and her crew mates were quite good with that Sturmgeschutze.

The colonels' eyes widened slightly as she presented her book for him to sign: A VERY well worn first volume copy of his auto-biography ... In the original German. Taking it, he flipped through the pages, noting the many highlightings, underlines, brackets and ... notes ... Also in German.

Picking up his pen, he asked ... In his own language, "to whom would you like me to make this out to?"

Her reply only gave him slight surprise.

A short conversation ensued, somewhat to the consternation of onlookers. Though many there were at least bilingual, none of them understood what was being said.

"Your German is excellent," Hessler complimented. "Where did you learn it?"

"My grandmother Asuka encouraged mother and I. We speak it whenever we can. When grandpa and da complain, we switch to English just to tic them off."

"Your grandmother ... ?"

"Born in America but grew up in Berlin."

"Explains the Berliner accent." All the while the colonel wrote on the inside cover.

After a few more pleasantries, he handed the book over. With a heartfelt "thank you" and small bow, the girl trotted off to her crew mates not too distant.

"Geez Eruwin!" Exclaimed Saemonza. "What were you talking about?"

"Oh ... nothing ... nothing," she replied with faux imperiousness as she scanned over her friends. "Just about the goings on in Europe. Must keep up with such things you know."

"Ooooo! ... Must be nice to be trilingual," said Oryo wryly.

"Yes ... Quite ... It's a continental thing," Erwin continued the act, "you wouldn't understand."

"Yeah, right," Oryo replied. "So ... What did he write in your book?"

"Oh!" She hadn't looked at it.

On turning the cover, she let out a stifled gasp.

"What's it say?" Caesar asked.

Erwin read aloud slowly, translating to Japanese:

To my good friend Riko 'Erwin' Matsumoto. As you've read, I personally knew your 'namesake' and served under him for a short time. Never a better man or soldier I've ever known.

May your life be MUCH longer, richer and happier than his.


Martin Hessler

Oberst des Heeres, Deutschland

Commandant, Legion Etrangere


Looking up from finishing a signature, Hessler saw the girl turn from her friends and do a deep bow in his direction. He returned with a salute of his own.


Walking to the car, Hessler was flanked by team leader Nishizumi and Captain Chono. As the two women spoke English, he addressed them in such.

"It is of my opinion," started Hessler, "that your team has a bright future in Panzerfahren."

Turning to Miho, he continued.

"It is also of my opinion you are also going to have a MUCH tougher time of it next year."

Mihos' ears perked up.

"All these other schools have been making it a serious point to study your methods and tactics. Especially in regard to your match with Black Forest Peak. They're saying it took a Nishizumi to beat a Nishizumi.

"They'd all be better off trying to emulate your flexibility and spur of the moment inventiveness. No doubt your sister and Itsumi are giving that more than careful consideration.

"Yes ... Next year ... won't be ... as 'easy'."

The chorus of song came suddenly, taking but an instant for the tune to register before Hessler turned towards the sound.

Lined up in front of the hanger, the rest of the Oarai Academys' panzerfahren team were ranked smartly singing.

Though in Japanese and no doubt some of the syntax changed, it was a song sung in many variations and tounges. Even Hesslers' later home, The Legion, had its' version. To him, it would always be Das Panzerlied.

Martin Hessler turned smartly, entering the limo. It wouldn't do for anyone seeing even that one tear.


Storyline (only) copyright © 8-16-13 C V Ford

Go to C V Fords' fan fiction page at Fan Fiction dot Net here.

Go to Fan Fiction dot Net here.

Wikipedia article on Girls und Panzer anime here.

Wikipedia article on Battle of the Bulge film here.

You Tube clip from the film Battle of the Bulge. Colonel Hessler (Robert Shaw) and panzer commanders singing das Panzerlied! here.

Wikipedia article on actor Robert Shaw here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the COPYRIGHTED names/characters, places, & events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of their respective owners. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase & enjoyment of the original works.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The Cliche: Another Very Short But Commonsense Horror Story

Fords' most famous Hack! Snort! Barf!

The Cliche

Another Very Short But Commonsense Horror Story


Jay Agan

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" The monster Hack! Snort! Barf!ed as it advanced on the young couple.

The two beat feet to the car.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" The monster Hack! Snort! Barf!ed as it kept up its' advance.

The guy and the gal jumped in the car.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" The monster Hack! Snort! Barf!ed still advancing.

The guy hesitated, key in hand over the ignition slot.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" Still Hack! Snort! Barf!ing, the monster lurched closer.

"What's wrong!?" The hysterical babe what's wronged.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" The shambling Hack! Snort! Barf!ing critter shambled up to the rear of the car.

"What if it doesn't start!?" Screamed the not as hysterical but more feeble minded boyfriend.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" El Kreepo Hack! Snort! Barf!ed as he/she/what/it got alongside the non-descript but obvious looking '1950s automotive contrivance.

"Just start the frickin' car!" Said the young lady in a most calm, composed manner ... NOT!

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" Hack! Snort! Barf!ed Joe Cthulhu as it reached for the door handle.

Turning the ignition, the boxy, potmetal chromed, state of the art, piece of mid twentieth century cutting edge technology Hack! Snort! Barf!ed to life.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" Litch guy, holding a twisted door handle, Hack! Snort! Barf!ed as it watched the car Hack! Snort! Barf! away down the road, Hack! Snort! Barf!ing all the way.


Story copyright © 8-13-2013 Jay Agan

More commonsense horror stories:

Silence of the Spams here.

Condo Dracula here.

The Haunting of Heck House here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Friday, August 2, 2013

A Few Words to John McCain

Lindsey Grahm & John McCain: Useless is as useless does.
Montage credit: Armand Vaquer.

A Few Words to John McCain


Jay Agan

First, a few zeros ... uh ... "heros". Kindred spirits of yours.

Considering his record in the Senate (He never met a gun control law he didn't like.) it would have been more HONEST for Daniel Inouye to have fought in the Pacific than in Europe ... For the Emperor.

Every time I see a handicapped person, I must remind myself not to hold that against him/her. After all, they're not all like Bob Dole.

It is my belief that John Glenn (Howie Metzenbaums' butt boy & the reason I only watch the first quarter of The Right Stuff.), while on a mission in space, was abducted by aliens who replaced his brain with a cow flop.

People I once respected & looked up to but no more. The same goes for you. Like they, you were a hero before ... You're a zero now. One "Oh shit!" beats out ten thousand "attaboys".

Sir, you make me want to apologize to Jane Fonda & watch ALL her movies. And I DESPISE Jane Fonda.

You ... are a ... wishy ... washy ... STAND FOR NOTHING ... moderate.

You try to show yourself as a conservative but your inactions speak louder than your empty words.

I see you in photos, watch you on interviews. I look at that beatific round face of yours with that "semi-medicated" gaze & listen to those sing songy intonations you spout ... Is there a mind behind those eyes & if so ... Whos' ?

I can't help but wonder, as you speak, just what swamp covered planet orbiting around what sick, green anti-matter star are you relaying your messages from?

I understand you went through hell in the Hanoi Hilton. It took some GUTS (Where is it now?) to turn down an offer of early release if only you'd given in. But ...

I now wonder if there might BE something to what some conspiratologists say about you being a "Manchurian candidate". What kind of a number did they put on you there?

And what are they doing to you now on Capitol Hill that makes you figuratively grab your ankles at the drop of a hat while shouting "Do me! Do me! Make it hurt!".

I did NOT vote for you in 2008. I voted for Sarah Palin. Your name just happened to be above hers on the ballot.

Every four years it's the same damn thing ... THE ... SAME ... DAMN ... THING!

Every four years it's a "choice" between Communist A & Fifth Columnist B.

Every four years it's a "choice" between a Demican & a Republicrat.

Every four years, two millionaires tell me to vote for them as they're just like me & know my situation better than I do myself. Get a clue ... YOU DON'T HAVE ONE ...

Every four years it's a "choice" between someone like YOU ... & someone like THEM.

I don't like you OR your "friends".

I can only imagine what it is you yourself have to gain from what you're doing. I do know what your "friends" want. Your "friends" on the left hope for new voters to give them assent in twisting the future into whatever nightmare they have in mind. Your friends on the "right" are drooling over the prospect of new cheap labor to exploit.

Whatever they & you get (We will ALL meet the Lord one day. Asbestos money belt or not, you CAN'T take it with you.), one thing's for sure: Your willingness to throw the country & the American worker to the jungle shows you don't give a damn about either.

If this rant comes across as a bit strange, it's only because I'm trying to be as "eloquent" as I can without resorting to too many "Anglo Saxon" monosyllables.

I now understand why it's better to "love the sinner, hate the sin." There are way too many non-entities like you Mr. McCain to hate. There's just not enough hate in me to go around. But to hate the state of sin we are all under ... the reason such creatures as yourself do what they do ... (I have my "issues" too by the way.) ... It being a single thing & reason. Much healthier & easier to hate than people.

This, of course, means I am to love you Mr. McCain, a fellow sinner. Problem is ... Your line of bull makes my blood boil & I have to live with the consequences of not only my but your actions as well.

So I just can't find it in me right now. I'm not what one would call a good Christian. I make the angels cry ...

Just sayin' ...

copyright © 8-2-13 Jay Agan

To one & all: Feel free to copy & post this elsewhere.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.