Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Haruhi-ism: Orthodoxy IS Important!

All hail "She Who Must be Obeyed"!

                                      Haruhi-ism: Orthodoxy IS Important!


                                                                  Jay Agan

Haruhi-ism - The world should be made as interesting as possible, lest it be judged for destruction. Thus by the grace of Haruhi Suzumiya, one must choose to  liberate oneself from the sin of mediocrity & be saved from the hell of boredom. Always keep a curious eye out for mysteries & try to find the magic, the special, in every situation. And have fun, while helping others do this as well. Bunny outfits are traditional garb for priestesses. (From TV Tropes.)

     While researching/gathering material for Interesting Search Words #20 (Which may not be for a while.), I stumbled across the following search phrase that led someone to this blog:

     kyon is god

     Hmm. Obviously this person seems to be in grave theological error. While it has been speculated at length by learned theologians that Kyon may be more than he lets on (I myself wrote an extensive treatise on this subject.), it is still not certain what that may be. What we do know as absolute spiritual FACT, is that Haruhi is GOD(!). Anything else, well ... The theological ramifications would be absolutely devastating (Even now, as a firm committed believer, I still struggle over the FACT that the supreme being is (unknowingly) an ADHD afflicted teenager somewhere in Japan.).

     The actual hierarchy is shown in the illustration below:

It is crucial to know these things.

     Kyon cannot be the supreme being. He is a created being (Albeit a "chosen one" by the Goddess.) as shown in the illustration below:

"The Creation of Kyon" by Mickey "The Icepick" d'Angelo

     Hopefully this will clear any misconceptions harbored by the misguided & help expose any heretics working their vile wickedness from within the cult ... er... uh ... congregation.

The true believer ...

     In the name of the Goddess, you may now go in peace.

So it is written ... So shall it be ...

Disclaimer: The preceeding is a joke. It is not intended to pass off a bogus belief system (eg. Scientology) as legit. Please take this article in the spirit in which it is intended.

     Now if you'll excuse me, I must do HEAVY pennance:

     Pie Haruhi dominae ... dona eis requiem ... ... WHACK!

Copyright © 8-8-2012 Jay Agan

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya parts 1, 2, 3.

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  1. It's perfect there still remain haruhiist persons, cool the creation of kyon, by the way

    1. It is perfect because Haruhi is perfect. There will be some who fall away but that is to be expected. There are none so blind as those who will not see ...

      Besides, it sure beats sitting around waiting for Third Impact!

  2. Hey, check it,
    The crucifixtion of Asahina

    1. Read the review. Liked it except for the Churuya critique. To each his own, I guess.

      In case you haven't seen it yet, here's my non-review of Nyoron Churuya-san: