Tuesday, June 25, 2013

A Little Bigotry

Now if she had been more like this ...

A Little Bigotry

It's about six years back & I'm working at a cut-rate would be Wal-Mart chain as a check out clerk. A lady, late middle age, starts putting her stuff on the belt & we have a conversation. I notice a heavy German accent.

My usual "icebreaker" jokingly is: "I can tell by your accent, you're not from around here. Are you from New Jersey?"

She gets friendly & we get to talking about Germany. She was from Wiesbaden. I mention I have folks in Graz (Austria) & Wurzburg. She then asks if I'm German.

I reply "Irish, English, German, French, Hungarian & Portuguese."

A look comes on her face like she just swallowed something REALLY disagreeable.

"YOU ... Are a mutt!"

I suppressed the urge to tell her she wasn't exactly the "uberfrau" she wanted me to think she was. Not exactly valkyrie material. In fact, there's no cure for the kind of ugly she had. Gas maybe?

Even Hitler loosened up a bit & became inclusive after a while. Became a "pan-Aryanist". Even going so far as to say: "The Russians are as Aryan as we are." Hmm ... A bit late on that one.

My actual reply was not at all to her liking. It even surprised her.

"I don't think of myself as a mutt as much as I think of myself as a 'Super European'."

I must say, her Reinhard Heydrich impression was spot on.

We complete the transaction in silence & she leaves.

People ...

Asuka's NOT evil ... just terminally PMS.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

My "Gaijin" American Boyfriend: A Lucky Star Fanfiction

Yes ... They ARE.

My "Gaijin" American Boyfriend

A Lucky Star Fanfiction


C V Ford

Tadao knelt at the low table mulling over the last half hour as Miki & Inori looked on in concern. A bombshell had just been set off in the houshold. Matsuri phoned only just before. She was bringing her new boyfriend over to meet every one ... An American.

"And neither of you knew about this?"

"It's news to me Dad," Inori answered. "I'd just gotten the call."

"You both go to the same college."

"I'm a junior, she's a sophmore. We don't have the same courses so we hardly see each other even when we're there at the same time. It's a big campus."

"I remember her mentioning there were some foriegn students in her classes. One in particular was helping everyone with their physics work. He could be the one."

Tadao looked over at his wife. "There wasn't any indication she was getting close to this boy? She mention ANYTHING?"

"I remember Matsuri mentioning him a couple times but only in passing regarding her studies. He was helping anyone who needed it as I recall. If she said anything more I would have told you ... Right after telling HER."

Tadao squeezed his wifes' hand in reassurement.

"She mentioned his name was ... Jack," Inori volunteered.

"Jack ... ," Tadao spit the name out.

"Yes," he thought. "Sounds like those gutteral monosyllabic nick names they're so fond of."

Though he had little sympathy with the right wing parties/factions of his country, as a Shinto priest & manager of his shrine at that, he felt, KNEW, it incumbent upon him to instill a pride & sense of oneness/affinity in his children as to what it was to be Japanese. While he wasn't overly strict, he still went to great pains to steep them in their culture. Even going so far as to have all four as Mikos ... shrine maidens. By modern Japanese standards his family was large what with his countrys' zero population growth. His friends kidded him about his trying to repopulate Japan single handed. He would usually retort about his wife having SOMETHING to do with it.

His thoughts went from his concern about his daughter to that of the past. He remembered the stories his grandfathers & great grandfathers told him of the Pacific War. Of the insane Americans ways of waging war & the cruelty on both sides. Few prisoners were taken by either & it was by the grace of the gods his relatives survived. The stories of the lean times of the Occupation didn't settle well with him either.

He felt himself fortunate to have missed that.

The periodic news stories of problems with American servicemen on Okinawa were no help either.Like many of his countrymen, he wished them gone. With a real military of their own they wouldn't "need" them.

A commotion at the front door brought him out of his thoughts. Getting up, he & Miki went to the hall.

"Oh, hi Dad!" Tsukasa greeted.

The twins arriving from school. Tadao let out some breath.

"Hey Dad!" Kagami exclaimed "You're not gonna believe who we ran in to on the way here."

"Matsuri ..."

"Uh ... yeah."

"With her new boy freind!" Tsukasa piped in. "He's really kool!"

"Cool ... ," Mr. Hiiragi looked on & thought. "Dear, sweet, deferential Tsukasa. And Kagami doesn't seem too concerned either. I'm going to have a long talk with EACH of my daughters ... especially Matsuri ... If I can make her stand still long enough."

"We ran into them at the convenience store," explained Kagami. "She's gonna make us all dinner! Your favorites too!"

As if it wasn't enough that Matsuri would do what she was doing. Now she was parading herself & the foreigner around the neighborhood for all to see. Tadao doubted dinner would make up for anything. In fact he doubted there would be ANY dinner that night.

"Uh ... Dad ... " Kagami asked. " ... something wrong?"

"I want you both out of the way for the next hour or so. Stay in your rooms."

"Wait ... Dad. This isn't about-"

"Just do as I say ... Something needs to be done."

"O ... Kay-"

"Wait! Sis! Don't you think we-"

"Come along Tsukasa," Kagami chided as she grabbed her arm. "THIS is serious ..."

Partway down the hall Tsukasa started in again.

"Why not just TELL him? He didn't look happy ... AT ... ALL!

"Are you kidding? This is gonna be fun!" Kagami put on her mischeivious grin. "Keep your eyes & ears peeled. Those two're gonna be here real quick & I don't wanna miss this!"

"Oh!" Tsukasa laughed. "You're right! This is gonna be good!"

"When we hear 'em at the door, we sneak down here real quick. Shoot! Forget just waiting, I'm gonna watch for 'em!"


Tadao & Miki stood silently in the hall as they observed their second daughter enter the house. Inori waited at the kitchen entrance, also tense. No matter how well it was handled, it was not going to go well. Though polite, it was to be plain to Matsuris' would be suiter that he was not at all welcome.

Still holding a couple store bags, Matsuri kicked off her street shoes as she greeted her parents.

"Mom, Dad?" She noticed their expressions as if she fully expected their demeanor. Though she smiled, her tenseness was also detectable. No, this was not going to go at all well.

"We understand you have someone you want us meet ..." Tadao said businesslike unsmiling

"Uh ... Yeah ... he's ..."

A stumbling at the door drew everyones' attention as they observed a figure, bent low picking up a bag while keeping the door propped open with one foot. His other arm wrapped around a cake box.

Tadao frowned. No. This was not going to be easy but it had to be done.

"Uh ... Mom? ... Dad? ... I'd like you to meet a fellow student of mine."

The intake of breath from the parents was audible.

"Jack ..."

The young man stood upright, looking straight at Tadao, a pleasant smile on his face.

"Nakamura ..."

Setting the bag down though still holding the cake, the young man did a reverential deep bow & spoke.

"Mr. & Mrs. Hiiragi ... I'm most happy to meet you both. Matsuri has told me so much about you ... "

His Japanese was flawless.


"I tell you," exclaimed Kagami. "Mom & Dad had to be absolutely freaking out! The way Dad was acting when Tsukasa & I got home was really cold. Like he was getting ready for a real knock-down, drag-out."

Lunch period, the twins recounted last nights' events to the others.

"So they had absolutely no idea he was ... ?" Miyuki started to inquire.

"Thought he was a really waspy gaikokujin huh?"

Tsukasa looked over at Konata. "Wasp-y?"

"Uh ... European looking ..."

"Whatever," Kagami retorted & paused. "It'd be just like Matsuri only to mention he was from America. Inori relayed the message to Mom & Dad & it'd be easy to assume the rest. I think she did it on purpose so Dad would out & out object from the start to soften him up for the rest.  Jacks' being gonsei still means he's American after all."

"One of ... ," Konata, in sepulchral voice, paused for dramatic effect. " ... the ... OTHERRRRRRR!"

"Come on Konata," chided Miyuki. "This IS serious."

"Yeah ... I know but," Konata returned. "I just wonder about the way things are though. I mean ... With science & genetic testing & all, you could be more Japanese than the Emporer himself & STILL be an outsider."

Miyuki sighed as as the more tradition bound twins looked at the diminutive one as if she pulled a mortal faux pas.

"And God help the guy if he was one of the Buraku."

Kagami let out a deep breath. "Yeah ... It IS much more than that. There are some things we need to fix socially. But that's gonna take some time ... Way long after WE graduate ... ."

"It seems Jack's not as much as on the outside as we thought." Tsukasa stated, getting back to the subject."


"Though Jacks' part of his family emigrated to the States around the turn of the last century, they still kept close ties. Even going so far as to get their childrens' names in the family registries here."

"And they really kept up on heritage." Kagami stated. "Though Dad didn't show it, he was really impressed. He was absolutely grilling him before, during AND after dinner."

"We all were sis. About EVERYTHING!"

"Hey! I might wanna meet this guy." Konata piped up. "There's a whole lotta questions I might ask him."

"Uh ... yeah," Kagami rolled her eyes. "We're talkin' REAL culture here."

"So what do his parents do?" Miyuki inquired.

"They're both with the U.S. embassy staff downtown. Translators & protocol."

"Explains why his Japanese is so good."

"So ... uh ... " Konata questioned, "your parents OK with this guy?"

"Wellllll ... ," the 'elder' twin speculated. "It seems, for the moment ... the Jack/Matsuri relationship is on a reluctant probation. You know how my Dad is. He was burning up the phone lines this morning, checking on his bona fides. If they're half as good as they might, I don't see how Dad could say no."

"Oh I think things'll be OK."

Kagami looked over at her sister.

"How's that?"

"It's what Dad said to Matsuri after Jack left."

"What was THAT?"

"At LEAST he's right handed."

"No one's perfect, Tsukasa."


Storyline (only) copyright © 6-20-13 C V Ford

C V Fords' fanfiction page on fanfiction.net here.

Fanfiction. net here.

Lucky Star: Yak Yakkity Yak! here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the COPYRIGHTED names/characters, places, & events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of their respective owners. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase & enjoyment of the original works.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

THAT'S Tonto? ... You're Kidding ... ... ... Right?

Depp tries to put the chemo in kemo sabe. This is sad.
Just because you can cosplay doesn't mean you should.

THAT'S Tonto? ... You're Kidding ... ... ... Right?

I like a good joke & all but ... Come on! THAT'S Tonto? You sure? More like Freako!

"Look Clayton! Those two dipwads are trying to pass them
selves off as us!" "Yeah Jay, it's pretty sad what some people
'll do for attention. By the way, just WHAT does kemo sabe
mean?" "You DON'T want to know ... kemo sabe." 

Now really! That orc THING looks more like something out of that abortion Peter Jackson has been passing off as Lord of the Rings. Tonto? Who you people tryin' to kid?

Shoot! I'm OFFENDED! ... And I'm racist! This is gonna make the Klinton Spilsbury flick look good. And folks wonder why I don't go to the movies anymore ...

By the way ... Someone should tell Armie Hammer that good "stage names" AREN'T found on boxes of baking soda.

Bill Cosbys' reminiscences of THE LONE RANGER here.

Go to Jays Tee Vee blog main page here.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

With You All the Way: An Angel Beats/Hell Girl Crossover Fanfiction

Though here over a month, the young man
still couldn't help but marvel ...

With You All The Way

An Angel Beats/Hell Girl Crossover Fanfiction


C V Ford

"Attention ... Jotaro Taniguchi repeat ... Jotaro Taniguchi ... Please report to 'the office' immediately ... Jotaro Taniguchi ..."

Though here over a month, the young man still couldn't help but marvel. Yurippe paging him on the schools' PA system? It was amazing the things one could get away with when Angel wasn't there to directly intervene. Even the faculty staff was as passive as the student npcs without their nemesis' presence. Not that he & other members of Battle Front would "abuse the privilege". The primary "mission" of resistance always being foremost in their minds.

Taking the steps up to Class Bs' third floor, Jotaro mulled over the events of before & after his arrival.

Over three months previous, he entered into a covenant with the Hell Girl. His schools' principal had been making life an almost literal hell, not only for some students but their families as well. His political connections made him virtually immune to any efforts to unseat him from his position. Even Jotaros' own father, the chief of police in their small town, feeling the pressure from those connections, could do nothing.

Taking matters into his own hands, the young man put them into those of the Hell Girl & undid the thread.

Being an adolescent, the concepts of death & eternity held little meaning. Despite having met the harbinger of doom that was Hell Girl, the finality of damnation was far from him. After all, his whole life was ahead ...

That finality was brought home when he met the Hell Girl a second time. From the findings in his hasty "research" skimming through the Shibata book & others, he knew there were only two ways one could meet her. Either from entering into a covenant of vengeance (Already done.) or when she came to ... collect.

In  his haste & fear while turning to flee, he tripped over his own feet & in a tumble down a flight of stairs, his neck was broken ... killing him instantly.

In a flurry of events after, he awoke, surrounded by students of this strange, otherworldly school. Two of which, Hinata & Otonashi, quickly hustled him off to what he later learned was the principals' former office & informed of the ins & outs of his & their situation. In his desire to get his bearings & situate himself, he reluctantly allowed himself induction into this curious resistance group, the Battle Front.

His proficiency with a handgun (Thanks to his sessions at the police range with his father.) astounded his fellow Front members. They felt they could have used him on their last raid only days before his arrival.

He was sure that's what his requested presence was about. It being about a months' passing, it was near time for another "meal ticket run". Members of their underground "guild" ate ... a lot.

He rounded the corner from the top floor stairwell & proceeded down the hall to the office door. With the uttered "There is no God, Buddha, or angel", he opened the door & entered.

"I must be an early arrival," his first thought.

Only three other people in the room. Yuri obviously. He could see her left elbow resting on the arm of the desk chair, its back to the rest of the room. It was the other two who got his attention.

Sitting/leaning on the right forward desk corner, arms folded, a tall, grinning young man looking more college age. Though he wore the khaki blazer/black pants of the male SSS, Jotaro had never seen him before. It was possible there were some members he hadn't met yet but he was here over a month ...

The other caught even more of his attention. A very striking woman sat on the desks' other corner filing her nails ... clad in the uniform of a school nurse.

"Nurse?" He thought puzzled. "Why would there be a nurse HERE of all places? Nobody gets sick & injuries heal in no time at all. 'Dying' you only come back. Might as well have an undertaker as a nurse. Just as logical."

His eyes almost left their sockets as the chair behind the desk spun slowly around. The blue & white girls SSS fuku clothed a frame smaller than Yuris'. More that of a middle schooler. It was topped by a luxuriant mane of straight black hair framing a pale, serene visage centered with a pair of arresting red eyes.

He spun round, fully intending a more than hasty exit, only to find his way blocked by an older man clad in maintenance staff coveralls. A man he immediately recognized as the black straw doll stand-in from a few months before.

"Not so fast bud," Wanyudo warned. "Business to discuss."

"A deal's a deal," the young man at the desk stated.

"Payment delayed IS payment denied." Hone Onna knew this more so than anyone.

Jotaro fought down his panic as best he could. His inadvertent evasion of them now proved too good to be true. They were here to take him to ..."

"O ... K ... al... right ..." Hoping to stall. "Then ... Let's get it over with."

He did his best to keep his knees from shaking. His thoughts turned to the Colt .45 copy in his waistband. Would it be possible to ... ?

"Let's not be so hasty," chided the bone woman.

"He certainly does jump to conclusions doesn't he miss?" Ren asked rhetorically, glancing at the seated Ai.

Taniguchi glanced around at each one then settled back on the Hell Girl.

"Conclusions? ... Wait ... aren't you here to ... I mean ..."

"As much as we'd like to, we can't." The man at the door said.

"Can't?" His hope sprang.

"We can't touch you even if you uh ... 'die' here," the ersatz nurse stated. "Most frustrating."

"These things happen sometimes," explained Ren. "We can only get you when you 'leave'."

"What we do is wait," said Wanyudo. "We're good at waiting."

Still looking at the pale apparition behind the desk, Jotaro asked, "is that possible? I thought that-"

For the first time, the pale one spoke. "Even ... in eternity ... there are boundries ... He ... who even our master serves has set them so."


"Yes," she replied. "There are places even we can't go."

"But you're ..."

"Only to leave a message," Hone Onna explained. "We feel we owe you that much."


Jotaro was now really confused. Why would ANY of them, especially the Hell Girl, feel they had any obligation toward him?

"Yes," said Ren. "Normally we'd let something like this slide until the right time but as your case was much less ambiguous than most ..."

It dawned on the young man what was happening. He had read in Shibatas' book how the Hell Girl was less than enthusiastic in her never ending task. How it brought little satisfaction in consigning people to the netherworld, especially for the pettiest of reasons. Many times for seemingly no reason at all.

But his situation. The man he pulled the thread on was pure dead bang evil. A physical abuser (In every sense of the term.) of children, many were Jotaros' friends. An amoral predator using his political connections in avoiding arrest. More than one hushed conversation was heard between the teens' parents how pressure from above kept this creature from justice.

He also read how the Hell Girl herself may also have been a victim due to abuse of higher authority. If so ...

"So ... " He nervously scanned the room again. "The message would be ...?"

"A short one," the bone woman replied.

He looked at the "nurse".

"Try not to gain contentment or fulfillment."

"Already knew that."

"What you didn't know," countered Ren, "was that we could claim you if you did."

"True ... I thought I might be home free."

The young man paused. At least he was safe from them. For now.

He turned to the Hell Girl. A question to be asked.

"Would it be possible to tell me who pulled the thread on ME?"

"No one."

That brought him up short.

"If no one did then why-"

"It was merely your time."

"My time!? But ... you ... you were-"

"Sometimes," the older man at the door interrupted, "our coming to claim becomes a ... What is it? ... Yes! ... What they call a ... 'self fulfilling prophecy.'"

Jotaro glanced down at the floor & assessed. The irony of his being here felt heavy. How unfair this had all turned out. And yet ... They at least had the goodness to warn him.

"At any rate," he declared, "I doubt I'll find peace here now that I know what's waiting. Thanks for telling me."

"There is another way."

He turned again to the pale girl behind the desk.

"You may want to leave ..."

"I doubt that. I-"

"One day ... You may become weary of this place ... "

Jotaro stumbled, almost falling as Matsushita grabbed him by the shoulder, steadying him.

"So ... There you are!" Yuri exclaimed from behind the desk. "'Bout time you got here."

Taniguchi gazed about, bewildered. All the main fighters as well as Girldemo present. All looking at him just as puzzled.

"Yes ... I ..." Blinking hard & shaking his head several times in an attempt to clear his mind.

"You all right?"

He looked toward the Leader.

"Yes ... I'm ..."

"Sure about that buddy?" Hinata looking concerned.

"Yes! Of course!." He stated turning his gaze back to Yuri. "Heard you on the PA, got here as fast as I could."


"Yes I-"

"I didn't use the PA."

"Could have sworn ... Once I got the word, I went straight here."

"Still the last one in. Penalty!" Her right index pointed like a gun.

"Where did I see/hear THAT before?" He thought. Aloud he asked, "penalty?"

"Well discuss that later. Right now, it's operations briefing."

With that, Briefing Manager activated & the session was on.


Session over, the various attendees filed out. They were to gather back here in a few hours for a final run down before Op start.

Jotaro walked up to Yuri & Noda as they were leaving. As they moved through the door he spoke.

"Yurippe?" He noticed the mild annoyance on the Leaders face on hearing that name/title.

"What's on your mind Taniguchi?"

"Remember when I was accepted in? I expressed some doubts about this set-up ... this situation we're in?"

Both Leader & Noda stopped in the hallway facing him.

"Yes I do," she replied with some emphasis. "Feet a bit cold?"

"No ... I just want to let you know ... " He glanced at Noda then back to the Leader. "... All of you ...

"I'm in this with you ... All the way."                                                               END

Storyline copyright © 6-13-13 C V Ford

Enma Ai. Painting by "Fukumoto".

C V Fords' Profile page & fan fiction stories at fanfiction.net here.

fanfiction.net here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee main page here.

Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the COPYRIGHTED names/characters, places, dialogue & events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of their respective owners. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase & enjoyment of their works.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

I Guess It Depends On Whose Ox Is Being Gored ...


They're for freedom.

They're for rights.

They're for diversity.

They're for ANY form of free thought or expression.

Except yours ...

Could It Be I've Been ... Trolled? here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Could It Be I've Been ... Trolled?

No, I don't write THAT kind!

Could It Be I've Been ... Trolled?


General definition: Fear of homosexuals/homosexuality.

Actual usage by many homosexuals & their sympathizers:

1. A buzz word for denigrating any person in disagreement/opposition or any perceived form of disagreement/oppostion.

2. Anyone/anything homosexuals don't like.


Some months ago, I started posting my anime fanfiction on the fanfiction.net website (When there, look up author C V Ford.). Thought I'd expand my exposure & I've done OK so far.

The site gives any reader an option to review a story & I've had a few, most of them favorable, a couple less so. Unfavorable reviews don't bother me as they're usually informative/constructive. As for any "malicious" or snarky ones ... well ... That's the risk you take. One kind of got me to wondering.

Some time back I posted an Azumanga Daioh fanfic titled "Not So Oblivious". To make a long story description short, the Kaorin character is "scared straight" albeit in a good way. So far I have gotten two positive reviews & one on the negative side.

The "negative" one was in two short words: "How sad".

Hmmm ... Not exactly a comment made out of unbridled joy. As for me, I'm the sentimental type. I cry when I see no smoking signs.

It got me to thinking. Was this reviewer ... THAT way?

I took a look at his/her profile page & sure enough ... he/she is. Bi & VERY proud of it.

As anyone who knows me can tell you, my views on homosexuality are less than favorable. I will only say that we are ALL one day coming before the Lord to be judged for something(s) or other & I pray we will all find the surprise to be pleasant.

As for the reviewer in question:

If he's bisexual, why would he think the ending of the story to be "how sad"? If he swings both ways, the ending really shouldn't have mattered, would it?

If he's secure in his "lifestyle"/identity, etc., why would he feel a need to make such a comment?

Was he making a joke? ... or ...

Maybe he really didn't care much for the story ... OK.

Or maybe he's just a heterophobe.

Azumanga Daioh fanfic story Not So Oblivious here.

Azumanga Daioh fanfic prequel story to the above, So Messed Up here.

They can also be found on C V Fords' profile page on Fan Fiction dot net here.

Fan Fiction dot net fanfiction web site here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

This Is A Test

This Is A Test

This is a test (Not a pop quiz. This makes up 35% of your final grade.) of the Emergency Blogging System. This is only a test.

Bzzzzzzrp! Bzzzzzzrp! Bzzzzzzrp! Bzzrp! Bzzrp! Bzzrp!


This concludes our test of the Emergency Blogging System. This blog, in cooperation with the FCC, Homeland Insecurity, local authorities & other intrusive agencies is participating in a network designed to deal with emergencies (Real or otherwise.).

Had this been an actual/bogus emergency or false flag operation, you would receive instructions directing you to your nearest politician/community organizer/authority figure of whatever political stripe, in order for you to benefit from his/her/its sage guidance and advice (Be sure to check all firearms, money, survival gear & free thought at the camp gate.).

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming/mind candy/propaganda /indoctrination.

An actual film about how much the government cares & wants to help.

Wikipedia article on This Is Not A Test movie here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.