OH! NO! ... IT'S ... A GRAMMAR NAZI!

Ve haff veys of making you write ... correctly.

OH! NO! ... IT'S ... A GRAMMAR NAZI!

Was looking through the Legacy Story Stats section of my page (C V Ford) on Fanfictiondotnet when I noticed this interesting little "review" by a one Ms. Essential for a story I did called "My Gaijin American Boyfriend". This is quoted verbatim:

--------------------------------------------

Ok here's my view on this, your grammar is ok as your punctuation is kind of out of place.

As you've used ellipsis for hesitation in your sentences quiet a lot or you could have used a comma ( , ) at some parts as commas also let the reader have a pause and then continue reading.

At some parts where your writing is like "THIS is serious ..." Instead of writing This in capital's you could have put in lower case like this 'This' but then put it in bold so it looks like it has more emphasis when the reader reads it.

But the chapter is so far good.

---------------------------------------------

Hmmm ... Call me paranoid but I kinda' get the feeling she was more into "correcting" me than in reading the story. Maybe it's because the actual "review" is only one short sentence long.

I then went to her profile page & found this intro. Also quoted verbatim:

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By the looks of it I've got quiet many people viewing my profile and I'm not that surprised about it. If you may have noticed I've been going round writing some reviews on stories that are needed to improve so, I apologize if I do write some harsh or cold reviews but if I do, that's how bad your story grammar is and then you'll need to improve a lot. Ok I'll say not everybody is perfect including me but to just say for authors please type properly in good grammar and literacy if you want a good story. If English is not your first language ok I can go with that but ever heard about the Proofread writing? Were you upload your story document and click to view it and then notice that green tick with ABC above it, well click it to check your writing mistakes it corrects a lot of things and you'll realise how much mistakes you type when you don't even know it!

Looking at some stories I've seen many authors start Fan fiction and mess up with the grammar and writing, they may have started Fan Fiction at a young age who knows? But looking at some stories they type now is pretty impressive how they improved on their typing skills including English grammar in maybe just over a few months or even a year!

My motto: Focus on what you can't do, not what you do

When your typing, write it out on paper before hand if needed to. Read over it before you put the chapter up. It might take time but if you want people to really enjoy your story there's a lot of things that'll be needed to do.

-------------------------------------------------

As for her motto, no truer words ever spoken. Think she'll actually follow it? Not quiet ... er... quite.

As an aside, I have been "chided" in the past by a one Edhla, a dyed in the wool Sherlock fan (And Sherlock fan fiction writer!), about my use of ampersands (& ... those things.). As she was so nice about it (And would actually read/review some of my stories!) I do NOT categorize her as a grammar nazi.

For years I used ampersands and didn't know what they were called until Edhla came along. To me, they were just those "and thingies". I will not now & never will use them ever again ... Oops!

Fanfiction.net web site here.

Ms. Essentials' page of profound knowledge and wisdom here.

Edhlas' Fanfiction.net profile page AND story listing here.

C V Fords' Fanfiction.net profile page and story listing here.

My Gaijin American Boyfriend, a Lucky Star fanfic here and here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

An Encounter at Gamers: A Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya/Lucky Star Crossover Fan Fiction

Which one is a figment of the others' imagination?

An Encounter at Gamers

A Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya/Lucky Star Crossover Fan Fiction

by

C V Ford


There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space & timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light & shadow, between science & superstition, & it lies between the pit of mans' fears & the summit of his knowlege. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call ... The Twilight Zone.

-----------------------------------------------------

Submitted for your approval ... A pair of young ladies who, though they've never met, intimately know each other through their obsessive interests in a catagory of entertainment known as Anime/Manga. So obsessive, they are called, in the parlance of said genres' followers: Otakus. A rather derogatory term of Japanese vernacular meaning "obsessive fan".

One goes so far as to actually, albeit unknowingly, bend reality. The others' dedication bends her relationships with others. Both having effects on people & their surroundings they fail to see.

These two disparate enthusiasts have now wandered into a media chain store known as Gamers, an establishment specializing in their interests & tastes. This particular franchise outlet is normally located in an area of northern Tokyo but ... for the moment ... now in ... The Twilight Zone.

------------------------------------------------------

Though not a day for new inventory, Konata Izumi decided to check out her favorite store anyway. Every so often she would find in these "secondary sweeps" something she had missed in her usual "planned assaults". That & she always loved the atmosphere of all things anime/manga & gaming. The fact she was a bit of an impulse buyer may have had something to with it as well.

On entering she noticed how quiet it was, the staff seemingly absent (Could they be in the back?). Usually a crowd at this time of day, she noted only three other people.

Facing away from her, looking over the stacks of clearance shoujos by the entrance, was an obvious middle schooler. Izumi "hmmphed" inwardly. Partly about the kids' seeming lack of taste but a little more over the fact the youngster was taller than she. Passing by she took in the other two.

At a middle aisle, a somewhat creepy looking older foriegner leafed through a film related magazine, putting the blue haired one on alert. This area was pretty much off the beaten track for tourists, nothing for them to "take in". Her imagination briefly kicked in, running from "pervs" to secret agents. She decided to swing wide of this one.

It was the one in the sci-fi aisle who more than brought her up short.

There ... staring at her just as open mouthed and aghast was-

"You're ... YOU'RE ... ," both shouted in unison pointing fingers at one another.

"Haruhi Suzumiya!"

"Konata Izumi!"

"But that can't be-!"

"This isn't possible-!

"How can-!"

"It isn't-"

"YOU'RE NOT REAL!" Again both in unison.

"But I watched your show regularly!" Konata exclaimed. "You even did commercials."

"Yours was a weekly I never missed!" Haruhi also exclaimed. "I have all your manga."

"It can't be! I mean ... It would be nice. As an actor I could use the money ... This hobby isn't cheap, you know."

"I could use the extra dough myself. Brigade projects aren't low cost either."

"But if you & I are real ..."

"We can't be fictional characters ... We-"

"Actually you are BOTH fictional characters."

The two looked up as the afore-mentioned foriegner approached.

"Merely figments in the imaginations of various & sundry working through the auspices of Kyoto Animation."

"And just WHO are you!?" Demanded Haruhi.

"And just WHERE do you fit in!?" Konata demanded also.

The foriegner stopped, smiled & pulled out a pack of Chesterfields.

"Mind if I smoke?"

"YES!" More unison.

The man lit up anyway.

"Sorry ... In my uh ... 'timeline' ... Smoking was good for you."

"Oh ... When was that?" Haruhi wasn't about to let up. "Prehistoric times ... 1960s maybe?"

"When dinosaurs ruled the earth!" Konata declared.

The strangers' smile widened.

"An introduction IS in order. I already know who you are though."

"So again," said Haruhi. "WHO are you?"

"And what's the game? Asked Konata.

"As my show is from the United States & so long ago, it's not surprising you wouldn't know me."

"AAAAAND!" Even more unison.

"My name is Rod Serling," the man said looking at Haruhi then to Konata. "As for my 'fitting in', the writer of this story is a big fan of mine as he is of you both.

"And the 'game', at least for me, is to bring down the curtain so to speak."

"Bring down ...?"

"The curtain ...?"

"After wrap up/conclusion of course."

"Wrap up? Conclusion?" Haruhi questioned confused. "Like ... as you say ... In a story?"

"And why is our dialogue so coordinated?"

"You both have the same voice artist ... Japanese AND English dub."

"Oh come on!" Konata bristled. "You make this sound like an anime."

"And a bad one at that," Haruhi declared. "And I feel as real as I always have as I'm sure you."

"Unlike you, I AM real. I left the scene back in '75. Seems smoking wasn't so good for you after all."

"As for this 'wrap up'-"

"Does this mean we ... die ... or something?"

"Or something. One could chalk it up to both your shows having ceased airing but it's more involved than that."

Taking a drag on the cigarette, Serling looked at Haruhi & continued.

"It seems a certain young man has had about all he can stand & has made arrangements."

"Now just WHAT could Kyon do that-"

"And a not so really close friend of yours," the smiling smoker in the Kuppenhiemer suit turned to Konata, "has reached her limit as well."

"I know Kagami 'n I've had our differences but-"

"She may be following you soon. Her slightly younger sister may be drawing a thread in the near future."

"A thread? Wait a sec-"

"As for this 'wrap up'." Haruhi grabbed a book figuring the spine of a trade paperback to the base of the foriegners' skull to be sufficient. "You're not going down without a fight, so-"

"It's not I who's your worry."

Serling turned aside as the up to now ignored middle schooler at the entrance turned & walked towards the group. The pale, raven haired apparition fixed her penetrating crimson eyes on the two girls.

"No!" Haruhi screamed. "This isn't possible!"

"It can't be! This ain't real!" Konata pointed. "She's an anime character! She's-"

"My name ... is Ai ..."

--------------------------------------------------------

In a broad sense, the world ends for everyone. When we shed this mortal coil by fair means or foul, peacefully or other wise, it is just as final on an individual basis as it would on an astronomical scale. With these two cases in point, it wasn't with Mr. Eliots' bang or whimper but as a plaintive whine. Two pitiful shadows lost & wallowing in the darkness of  ... THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

Rodman Edward Serling
1924-1975 RIP

Storyline (only) copyright © 7-19-13 C V Ford

Rod Serlings' Wikipedia bio here.

The Twilight Zone TV series (1960s) Wikipedia entry here.

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya Pts 1, 2, & 3.

Lucky Star: Yak! Yakkity! Yak! here.

The Urban Legend-ary Girl: A Lucky Star Fan Fiction here.

My Gaijin American Boyfriend: A Luck Star Fan Fiction here.

The Big "What If" of Haruhi Suzumiya fan fiction here.

The Otakudom of Haruhi Suzumiya fan fiction here.

My Fellow American: A Lucky Star/Lucky Channel Fan Fiction here.

The 4th Wall of Haruhi Suzumiya fan fiction here.

C V Fords' fan fiction & profile page at fanfiction.net here.

Fanfiction dot net main page here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.


Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the COPYRIGHTED names/characters, places, dialogue & events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of their respective owners. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase & enjoyment of their works.

My "Gaijin" American Boyfriend: A Lucky Star Fanfiction

Yes ... They ARE.

My "Gaijin" American Boyfriend

A Lucky Star Fanfiction

by

C V Ford


Tadao knelt at the low table mulling over the last half hour as Miki & Inori looked on in concern. A bombshell had just been set off in the houshold. Matsuri phoned only just before. She was bringing her new boyfriend over to meet every one ... An American.

"And neither of you knew about this?"

"It's news to me Dad," Inori answered. "I'd just gotten the call."

"You both go to the same college."

"I'm a junior, she's a sophmore. We don't have the same courses so we hardly see each other even when we're there at the same time. It's a big campus."

"I remember her mentioning there were some foriegn students in her classes. One in particular was helping everyone with their physics work. He could be the one."

Tadao looked over at his wife. "There wasn't any indication she was getting close to this boy? She mention ANYTHING?"

"I remember Matsuri mentioning him a couple times but only in passing regarding her studies. He was helping anyone who needed it as I recall. If she said anything more I would have told you ... Right after telling HER."

Tadao squeezed his wifes' hand in reassurement.

"She mentioned his name was ... Jack," Inori volunteered.

"Jack ... ," Tadao spit the name out.

"Yes," he thought. "Sounds like those gutteral monosyllabic nick names they're so fond of."

Though he had little sympathy with the right wing parties/factions of his country, as a Shinto priest & manager of his shrine at that, he felt, KNEW, it incumbent upon him to instill a pride & sense of oneness/affinity in his children as to what it was to be Japanese. While he wasn't overly strict, he still went to great pains to steep them in their culture. Even going so far as to have all four as Mikos ... shrine maidens. By modern Japanese standards his family was large what with his countrys' zero population growth. His friends kidded him about his trying to repopulate Japan single handed. He would usually retort about his wife having SOMETHING to do with it.

His thoughts went from his concern about his daughter to that of the past. He remembered the stories his grandfathers & great grandfathers told him of the Pacific War. Of the insane Americans ways of waging war & the cruelty on both sides. Few prisoners were taken by either & it was by the grace of the gods his relatives survived. The stories of the lean times of the Occupation didn't settle well with him either.

He felt himself fortunate to have missed that.

The periodic news stories of problems with American servicemen on Okinawa were no help either.Like many of his countrymen, he wished them gone. With a real military of their own they wouldn't "need" them.

A commotion at the front door brought him out of his thoughts. Getting up, he & Miki went to the hall.

"Oh, hi Dad!" Tsukasa greeted.

The twins arriving from school. Tadao let out some breath.

"Hey Dad!" Kagami exclaimed "You're not gonna believe who we ran in to on the way here."

"Matsuri ..."

"Uh ... yeah."

"With her new boy freind!" Tsukasa piped in. "He's really kool!"

"Cool ... ," Mr. Hiiragi looked on & thought. "Dear, sweet, deferential Tsukasa. And Kagami doesn't seem too concerned either. I'm going to have a long talk with EACH of my daughters ... especially Matsuri ... If I can make her stand still long enough."

"We ran into them at the convenience store," explained Kagami. "She's gonna make us all dinner! Your favorites too!"

As if it wasn't enough that Matsuri would do what she was doing. Now she was parading herself & the foreigner around the neighborhood for all to see. Tadao doubted dinner would make up for anything. In fact he doubted there would be ANY dinner that night.

"Uh ... Dad ... " Kagami asked. " ... something wrong?"

"I want you both out of the way for the next hour or so. Stay in your rooms."

"Wait ... Dad. This isn't about-"

"Just do as I say ... Something needs to be done."

"O ... Kay-"

"Wait! Sis! Don't you think we-"

"Come along Tsukasa," Kagami chided as she grabbed her arm. "THIS is serious ..."

Partway down the hall Tsukasa started in again.

"Why not just TELL him? He didn't look happy ... AT ... ALL!

"Are you kidding? This is gonna be fun!" Kagami put on her mischeivious grin. "Keep your eyes & ears peeled. Those two're gonna be here real quick & I don't wanna miss this!"

"Oh!" Tsukasa laughed. "You're right! This is gonna be good!"

"When we hear 'em at the door, we sneak down here real quick. Shoot! Forget just waiting, I'm gonna watch for 'em!"

---------------------------------------------

Tadao & Miki stood silently in the hall as they observed their second daughter enter the house. Inori waited at the kitchen entrance, also tense. No matter how well it was handled, it was not going to go well. Though polite, it was to be plain to Matsuris' would be suiter that he was not at all welcome.

Still holding a couple store bags, Matsuri kicked off her street shoes as she greeted her parents.

"Mom, Dad?" She noticed their expressions as if she fully expected their demeanor. Though she smiled, her tenseness was also detectable. No, this was not going to go at all well.

"We understand you have someone you want us meet ..." Tadao said businesslike unsmiling

"Uh ... Yeah ... he's ..."

A stumbling at the door drew everyones' attention as they observed a figure, bent low picking up a bag while keeping the door propped open with one foot. His other arm wrapped around a cake box.

Tadao frowned. No. This was not going to be easy but it had to be done.

"Uh ... Mom? ... Dad? ... I'd like you to meet a fellow student of mine."

The intake of breath from the parents was audible.

"Jack ..."

The young man stood upright, looking straight at Tadao, a pleasant smile on his face.

"Nakamura ..."

Setting the bag down though still holding the cake, the young man did a reverential deep bow & spoke.

"Mr. & Mrs. Hiiragi ... I'm most happy to meet you both. Matsuri has told me so much about you ... "

His Japanese was flawless.

-------------------------------------------------------

"I tell you," exclaimed Kagami. "Mom & Dad had to be absolutely freaking out! The way Dad was acting when Tsukasa & I got home was really cold. Like he was getting ready for a real knock-down, drag-out."

Lunch period, the twins recounted last nights' events to the others.

"So they had absolutely no idea he was ... ?" Miyuki started to inquire.

"Thought he was a really waspy gaikokujin huh?"

Tsukasa looked over at Konata. "Wasp-y?"

"Uh ... European looking ..."

"Whatever," Kagami retorted & paused. "It'd be just like Matsuri only to mention he was from America. Inori relayed the message to Mom & Dad & it'd be easy to assume the rest. I think she did it on purpose so Dad would out & out object from the start to soften him up for the rest.  Jacks' being gonsei still means he's American after all."

"One of ... ," Konata, in sepulchral voice, paused for dramatic effect. " ... the ... OTHERRRRRRR!"

"Come on Konata," chided Miyuki. "This IS serious."

"Yeah ... I know but," Konata returned. "I just wonder about the way things are though. I mean ... With science & genetic testing & all, you could be more Japanese than the Emporer himself & STILL be an outsider."

Miyuki sighed as as the more tradition bound twins looked at the diminutive one as if she pulled a mortal faux pas.

"And God help the guy if he was one of the Buraku."

Kagami let out a deep breath. "Yeah ... It IS much more than that. There are some things we need to fix socially. But that's gonna take some time ... Way long after WE graduate ... ."

"It seems Jack's not as much as on the outside as we thought." Tsukasa stated, getting back to the subject."

"Oh?"

"Though Jacks' part of his family emigrated to the States around the turn of the last century, they still kept close ties. Even going so far as to get their childrens' names in the family registries here."

"And they really kept up on heritage." Kagami stated. "Though Dad didn't show it, he was really impressed. He was absolutely grilling him before, during AND after dinner."

"We all were sis. About EVERYTHING!"

"Hey! I might wanna meet this guy." Konata piped up. "There's a whole lotta questions I might ask him."

"Uh ... yeah," Kagami rolled her eyes. "We're talkin' REAL culture here."

"So what do his parents do?" Miyuki inquired.

"They're both with the U.S. embassy staff downtown. Translators & protocol."

"Explains why his Japanese is so good."

"So ... uh ... " Konata questioned, "your parents OK with this guy?"

"Wellllll ... ," the 'elder' twin speculated. "It seems, for the moment ... the Jack/Matsuri relationship is on a reluctant probation. You know how my Dad is. He was burning up the phone lines this morning, checking on his bona fides. If they're half as good as they might, I don't see how Dad could say no."

"Oh I think things'll be OK."

Kagami looked over at her sister.

"How's that?"

"It's what Dad said to Matsuri after Jack left."

"What was THAT?"

"At LEAST he's right handed."

"No one's perfect, Tsukasa."

----------------------------------------------------

Storyline (only) copyright © 6-20-13 C V Ford


C V Fords' fanfiction page on fanfiction.net here.

Fanfiction. net here.

Lucky Star: Yak Yakkity Yak! here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the COPYRIGHTED names/characters, places, & events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of their respective owners. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase & enjoyment of the original works.

My Fellow American: A Lucky Star/Lucky Channel Fanfiction

Not what's in the following fanfic but I thought it appropriate.
Translation on the Kanji & Hirugana anyone?

My Fellow American: A Lucky Star/Lucky Channel Fanfiction

by

C V Ford


"Luckeeeeeeeee Channel! ... Hiya Luckeeeeeees! ... Glad you could drop by to see me. I'm Akira Kogami ... "

"And I'm Minoru Shiraishi!"

"And lucky you all are today. For the first time EVER, we have a special guest."

"And special she is. A most interesting character on the Lucky Star program."

"And that would be?"

"Why Akira-san, she's none other than Patricia Martin ... And here she is!"

"Hello everyone ... I'm very pleased to meet all of you."

"So tell us about her Minoru."

"As our viewers all know by now, Patti-san ... I can call you Patty can't I?"

"Oh go right ahead."

"Thank you. As you all know-"

<"Don't get too familiar with the guest Shiraishi.">

"Patti-san is an American exchange student living/studying here in Japan immersing herself in the many aspects of our culture."

"Anime/manga is culture?"

"Oh yes Akira-san! I've been a devoted student of anime/manga. These are artforms totally unique to Japan. Nothing anywhere near like them anywhere else. I've learned so much of Japanese culture from them which has helped me in SO MANY ways."

"Is that so?"

"Yes Patti-san. Tell us how much it has enriched your life."

<"Still getting too familiar Shiraishi!">

"Well ... It has certainly helped build my language skills-"

<"Which explains why you sound so slangey & weird at times">

"-thus helping me in new discoveries."

"So ... And what uh ... discoveries would they be?"

"Yes! Tell us about anything new you may have learned!"

<"Still trying to chalk up brownies, aren't you?">

"Well, my most recent find concerns you Minoru."

<"Too informal! She's actually calling him by his given name!">

"Uh ... Me! ... I ..."

"Oh yes! ... It's about something you mentioned in our pre-program interview a few days ago that got me to thinking, so I decided to check up on it the moment I got back to my apartment that evening."

"And what would that be?"

<"Yeah ... Just what would THAT be? Shiraishi's about as fascinating as uncooked ramen ...">

"Remember when you told me that you were born in Los Angeles?"

<"Huh? ... He never mentioned anything like THAT to ME!>

"Uh ... Yeah. My parents were there a couple years for the company my dad works for ... Mom was going to be sent back here to have me but I was premature."

<"That explains a LOT. I thought it was because you were dropped too often as a baby.">

"I went & looked up some things & ... Well ... You're an American!"

"I'm ... What!?"

<"Woah! ... Something just got interesting!">

"Yes. A fellow American!"

"Now wait Patti-san ... How can that be ... I-"

"According to Ammendment 14 of the United States Constitution, ANYONE born there & uh ... 'subject to the jurisdiction thereof' ... Is a U.S. citizen."

"Now Patti ... I would hardly think that would apply to me. Considering I'm here & not there. I'm not ... What did you say? ... Oh yeah! ... I'm not 'subject to the jurisdiction thereof.' That's how you put it, right?"

"But you were when you were born there ... I mean ... Your parents were there on business, right?"

"Mmm ... yeah."

"And they weren't diplomatic people or other Japanese government staff, right?"

"Uh ... No ... They weren't ... but ..."

"Hold on a sec Martin-san! You mean to say Shiraishi here is a ... a ..."

"An American Citizen? Yes!"

"A ... gaijin!? ..."

"Now hold on just a minute Akira!"

"Ha! ... Snicker! ... Snort!"

"With all the rights & privileges that go with it! ... Oh! ... And here ... I have this for you."

"Ummm ... Just what is it? My English & Romanji are a bit rusty. I wouldn't know where to ..."

"Look at the top."

"What the- ... Those are my parents names, I can make that out & ... That's my name! ... What is this!?"

"A copy of a certificate of live birth from the county of Los Angeles."

"So that proves he's a ... Gasp! ... Chortle! ... Derp! ..."

"The next morning I phoned a friend in L. A. whose dad works there in city government. He got in touch with someone in public records. She then faxed this to me."

"No! ... This isn't happening ... I ..."

"This certifies that a Minoru Shiraishi was born to a ------------- & ---------- Shiraishi on --/--/-- at Ceders Sinai Hospital, city of Los Angeles, Los Angeles County, U.S.A.."

"Then he really IS a ... Bwa ha! ... Gi! ... Hee hee! ... "

"This ... This isn't ...!"

"Just think! ... When you come to my ... OUR ... country ... All you have to do is show them this. Immigration would pass you right through. You wouldn't need to go through the citizenship process ... You wouldn't-"

"This isn't right! It can't be true ... it ..."

"Oh man! I'm really lovin' this! Unbelievable! Bwa ha ha ha haaaa!"

"-You wouldn't even need a green card to work! You're already a-"

"Gaijin! Yee! Hee! Hee! Hee! Heeee!"

"But! ... But ... Sputter! ... Gheeeeh!"

"Oh God! ... Ha! Ha! Ha! Haa! Haaaaaa! Patti-san! ... This ... This is too much! ... Gehip! ... Harg! ... You ... You two're killin' me! H' hyuk!"

"But Akira-san ... It's true! Isn't this great Minoru?"

"No ... It's not!"

"By the way ... A notarized/certified copy of this is on its' way ... Care of this station."

"Nooooooooooooo!"

"And that's ... Grp! ... Smirk! ... about it for this episode ... snicker ... gasp! ... REMEMBER! ... Gasp! Wheeez! ... You heard it all here first on Luckeeeee Channel! ... Bye ni!

Title board slips/drops into place.

"Bwa! Ha! Ha! Haa! Haaaaaaa!"

"Now come on Akira! ... Both of you! ... I ... I was registered here in the Home Islands!"

"That means you have dual citizenship. Wow! You have the best of both worlds! You ..."

"But ... Har! ... Har! ... Gack! ... He's the worst at ... Heep! ... EVERYTHING!"

"I am not, darn it! ... And I'm just as Japanese as you are!"

"Hey! ... Whatever you say ... Gaijin! Bwa! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Haa! Haaaaaaaa!"

"A ... ki ... raaaaah!"

Bzzzzzzzzzzt! Boop! Dark screen.


Storyline (only) copyright © 2-5-2013 Jay Agan


Lucky Star: Yak! Yakkity! Yak! here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the copyrighted names/characters, places, & events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of their respective owners. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase & enjoyment of their products.

Interesting Search Words #26

Interesting Search Words #26


Well, it's been over a year since I started this column/series. I started it in mind to provide article fodder/filler & it's been a complete success. It practically writes itself! Lots of hits, mostly from "picture snatchers" but ... a hit's a hit. I'm definitely going to continue writing these.

Now ... Without further adieu ...


1. lucky star konata miyuki yaoi - I think you have your hentai sub-genres confused.

"Oh Tamura-san! ... What does yaoi mean?"

"Uuuuwaah! ... That ... depends ... on which one you mean ...!"

2. dishonored hentai - I would think so, yes.

3. little mole communist - We LOVE our president! Yes we do!


Ya gotta love the guy!

 4. why did shinji calm down after seeing kawaru - Because he was very confused
... & so are you.

Yes .. It's EPIC ... But not the real thing.

5. sakaki azumanga hot - Tall is always HOT!

Maybe I'll take up scuba diving ...

6. rei yuki - That anything like Nagato Ayanami?

Be disturbed ... Be VERY disturbed ...

7. minami iwasaki yutaka kobayakawa - Hiyori? ... You've got to stop drawing your friends like that!

This ... is how they're supposed to be drawn ...

8. haruhi suzumiya meme - The eternal meme ... She is God ... She is God ... She is God ...

Haruhi art on a protest sign in Gaza. Translation anyone?

9.asuka making shinji wear girls clothes - Yes ... very confused.

There are girlfriends. And then there are ... girlfriends.

10. rei ayanami porn doll - I hope you get TANGED in the worst way!

She later ripped his arm off!

11. skooby doo anime style - 'N here ya go!

I really hated that show. I could change my mind if they did this.

So that's it fer now. Stop by in a couple weeks ...

You Tube selection of Hiyori Tamura Moments from Lucky Star here.

End of Evangelion: This Is (Really) Disturbing here.

Azumanga Daioh: Too ... Much ... Cute here.

Lucky Star: Yak! Yakkity! Yak! here.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Oooooo! Goodies In the Mail! here.

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya parts 1, 2, & 3.

Scooby Dooby Doo I Hate You here. This blogs' very first post!

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Interesting Search Words #23

Interesting Search Words #23


Surprisingly, a whole batch came in such a short time. Here they be:


1. jay tee yaoi - Uh ... Nope! ... Don't think so ... Uh! Uh! ... Not here! ... Now go away!

2. vomit hentai - It certainly is Ollie!

Rumor has it he's buried near the 50 yard
line at New Jerseys' Meadowlands Stadium.

3. manga yaoi dirty dog chihuahua boy - I shudder to think just what it was this guy was looking for.

4. hentai looks real - Get your eyes checked. You might want to see a shrink too.

To coin a phrase: "I've seen enough hentai to know where this ISN'T going."
Great movie by the way. Credit: Columbia Pictures

5. chuck norris vs dbz - Oh come on! Chuck's a real guy. And the DBZ guys are really badly drawn (Man, that is one UGLY show!).

6. azumanga daioh osaka shocked - Doesn't she always ... look like that? That or catatonic ...

Once I was on an escalator that broke down. Took them hours to get me out!

7. kreepy mlp - That about ... says it all. Mr. Hardy, take note!

Kreeeeepy ... MLP ... is kreepy.

8. miyuki mizuhara yomi takara - Ah! Into meganekos I see ... Though I think you have your names mixed up a bit.



"Uh ... What did you call me?"
Credit: Shizuka91

"Sorry don't know anyone by that name."

9. azumanga daioh mlp - Not ... sure ... if ... like ... want ... this ... not ... sure ... eh ... uh ... gkk! ... PONIES! ... AAAAAAAGH!

Cast of My Little Azumanga, Friendship Is Magic: L-R Yomi Luna Mizuhara,
Tomo Rainbow Dash Takino, Chiyo-chan Twilight Sparkel Mihama,
Ayumu "Osaka" Pinkie Pie Kasuga, Applejack Kagura, & Fluttershy Sakaki.

Well, I guess that's it for now. See y'all in about a week 'n a half ... maybe ...


How ... How DARE He, The Offending of Haruhi Suzumiya here.

Azumanga Daioh: Too Much Cute here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Lucky Star Theory: The Konata/Kanata Connection

Konata & Kanata Izumi: Could they be ... one & the same?.

                               Lucky Star Theory: The Konata/Kanata Connection

                                                                 by

                                                                     Jay Agan


      Lucky Star is an anime series I had sworn off getting due to what I thought originally to be a cutsey kiddie show & nothing more. After having You Tubed it (And getting past the first four episodes.) I found it to be a delightful, satirical little sendup of otaku obsession & pop culture. Thus it now (Along with the OVA.) resides on my shelf.

      Having seen it more than once over the past twelve months, something about the show occured to me & has had me up at nights (Of course I exaggerate.). After pondering it at some length, I've arrived at a "conclusion": Konata Izumi & her alledgedly deceased mother, Kanata, may actually be one & the same person.

      One could only wonder. Did Kanata Izumi really die when Konata was very young? Was there even a real Konata to begin with? Is it out of some shame/guilt over not having successfully given birth or an inability to bear a child that Kanata took on an alternate personae & "became" that child herself? Sure there are "flashback" scenes in the show, but that could be nothing more than illustration of what's going on inside Ko/anatas' mind.

1. First the obvious: As revealed in episode 10 of the series, both Konata & Kanata (With the exception of the mole/beuty mark under her left eye, supposedly inherited from her dad. Tattoo or permanently affixed prosthetic of some kind?) are physically exactly the same.

The person in question should be in her early thirties & thus should look "a lot" older. This is anime however. Not all "old people" have to look like Keel Lorenz.

2. Both she & her "dad" seem quite comfortable about playing adult video games ("Dating sims" etc.) together. Yes, we know what Mr. Izumi is & we have names for people like that (And I don't mean Bill, George or Clarence either!). Could it be it's because they're husband & wife not father & daughter that they have few qualms about this?

      Mr. Izumi supposedly buys these games for his "underaged daughter" but she could also be buying them herself using her old ID.

      Cousin Yui, the policewoman drops by from time to time. In ep. ten she sees Ko/anata playing a "questionable" game & either doesn't notice or lets it slide. Could she also be in on the charade? For that matter what about Yutaka? Yui doesn't seem to mind her little sister staying at the Izumi household in spite of Mr. Izumis' predilections, so why would she even worry about Ko/anatas' "dual" personality?

3. "Legendary Girl": It usually takes time for some legends to build. Could it be this "mythic" figure has been a fixture in anime & pop culture a lot longer than the "teen" Konata?

4. There's also the fact that in spite of her diversions/obsessions, non-spirit of "slack" & bad study habits she still gets passing grades in school. Yes, she certainly knows how to "work the system": Copying others (Usually Kagamis'.) homework, all night cramming before tests, blocking cram school solicitations with caller ID, etc. It could be she's been through it before & drawing from her earlier high school experience. Knowing what a pack rat she is in regard to her otaku interests it could be she refers to papers/work & text books from when she was a student years before.

5.Yes, Kanata does show up as a spirt in ep. twenty two. Keep in mind we're dealing with what may be a dual personality of some kind. It might be Ko/anatas' actual self trying to reassert itself.

      I hope you enjoyed these little observations of mine & that they may have cleared up any confusion in regard to this series. If so, glad to have been of some help.


Article copyright © 6-30-2012 Jay Agan


Lucky Star, Yak! Yakkity! Yak! here.

Go to Main Page here.


This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

Interesting Search Words #17

                                              
                                        Interesting Search Words #17


      Interestinger n' interestinger as time goes on.

1. mlp evangelion - As if we didn't have enough to worry about. Now we gotta watch out for Rei-nbow Dash!

Why ... Oh God ... why? Credit: LavosVsBahamut

2. jay sherman my little pony - "IT STINKS!"

I felt the "It stinks!" shot to be overused & decided on this.
Credit: Princedymion

3. konata pride - Yes, she does play "dating sims" (With her dad yet!). Yes, she does comment a lot on female anatomy/"moe' points". Yes, she can be an "interesting" character. But ... you know? ... In the times I've viewed the show, I haven't seen her once "come on" to Kagami or any of the other female characters in the series. In one scene she even talks about boys in a "het" manner (The similarity of the silhouette to her of the boy in question is more an indication of how wrapped up she is in herself than anything else.).

Rampant Konata.

    No, until any real info comes in (Hentai & yuri fan fiction don't count!), I'll take it as an indication she's just too much involved in anime & pop culture. Glad I'm not.

    Now as for Hiyori & possibly Patricia (link) that's another story entirely.

4. mlp commie - Figured it to be a plot of SOME kind!

The wave of the future ... You have been warned.
Credit: 2snacks

5. redneck pikachu - Tobaccochu! I choose you!

6. girl from hell - I think we've all known one or two. No not THAT one!

7. barry resident evil yaois - Anything to do with the presidents' recent statement? By the way, this one was from France (Hetalia!).

8. waffle hentai - There are fetishes ... and ... I guess .... There are ... FETISHES!

9. haruhis' alien babies - This one came in before. Could he mean this?

Wasn't one loose cannon God enough?

Wikipedia article on The Critic (Jay Sherman) here.

Lucky Star: Yak Yakkity Yak! here.

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt 3.

TV Animes I Got: Mini Reviews here. Contains a Hell Girl review.

Pokemon ... Uh ... Yeah here.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

Interesting Search Words #15

                                                    
                                           Interesting Search Words #15


      Words of web wanderers who were woefully wending their weary way to this wonderous website. WOW!

1. anime bunny with guns - What's bettern' an anime bunny? An anime bunny with guns!

This couldn't be Kagame Hiiragi, could it? Konata must've finally gotten to her!

2. hentai real - Hentai UN-real. You probably wish it was ...... hopefully with some sub-genres left out.

3. yuki nagato is not amused - How can you tell? It's like determining wether or not Robert Mitchum is sleepy.

The best part of waking up is LCL ..... er ..... Folgers in your cup!

4. baby looney toons elmira - The show was called Tiny Toon Adventures. The character was Elmyra Duff. Elmira is my original home town.

5. cosplay lolicon - Call the cops!

6. big brown spider in virginia - Here's one in Arizona. Check out what happens to it here.
Attaboy Clint!

Yep! They git purty big out there.

7. the bible demotivational - Pen Jillette said he gave up at Leviticus. I would too. Start at Matthew instead of Genesis (And I DON'T mean Neon GENESIS Evangelion!).

8. haruhi mikuru asahina pillow - This brings to mind an issue of The Dirty Pair from the late 80s. In the letters section a fan kept referring to the characters as if they were real. The Ed. stated that real lovers, in spite of any physical shortcomings, were better than imaginary ones. Go out and ask one for a date! Yeah, some do "bite" & are mean, but that's the risk you take. The worst she can do is say "no" ..... & make a scene ..... laugh at you ..... put you down in front of God 'n everybody ..... make you feel like 2 cents ...... Ahem! ..... GO FOR IT!

9. manly guys doing manly things cosplay - As a manly guy I don't cosplay when I do manly things (Which is all the time.). Don't need to. God! I'm gorgeous!

10. rei smile - Long ago I had a spooky girl friend like that. She smiled ..... a lot!

Sometimes I think that kid ENJOYS glopping people!

Go to  Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP

Answering Those 50 Anime Questions: A Filler Article

      A one Ace Railgun got the ball rolling on this & now it seems everyone BUT ME is doing this. Not wanting to be left out, here it is.

                        
                           Answering Those 50 Anime Questions: A Filler Article


1. Who is your favourite male anime character?

Spike Spiegel. He's just too dang kool for words.

2. Who is your favourite female anime character?

Faye Valentine. She's just too dang kool to care.

3. What is your favourite anime soundtrack?

Of the only two I have right now (One being End of Evangelion), I would say Azumanga Daioh.


4. What is your favourite anime opening + animation?

Opening song: First season  The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It has the feel of a 70s Helen Reddy song. Opening & closing with credits here.

Opening animation: Lucky Star, zippy & quirky here.


5. What is your favourite anime ending + animation?

Ending Song: First season Spice & Wolf. Though it's in a rather cute "Engrish", it has the feel of something  the Beatles would've sung in the late 60s. Ending song here.

Ending animation: Azumanga Daioh, the part where Kaorin "accidentally" touches Sakaki here.

Franchise ending: Last scenes & closing from episode #26 of Cowboy Bebop: The Real Folk Blues Part 2.

..... bang .....
Credit: Graytiv

6. What is your favourite anime scene?

The "Hostility Passing By" scenario from Episode 2 of Full Metal Panic Fumoffu.

"Why a plain roll!?"

7. If you could meet an anime character who would it be?

Spike Spiegel for coolness lessons. Shinji Ikari to slap some sense into (Stop going emo on us, kid!). Maybe Spike could straighten him out.


8. What anime character is most similar to you in terms of personality?

Depending on my mood & "howz it goin'" I range between Shinji Ikari & Spike Spiegel. Maybe I should slap me around!


9. What is your favourite thing about anime?

The general political incorrectness. It's from a monoracial culture so it has little barriers to "politeness". Everyone smokes like chimneys. Even if any of the women can kick your posterior, they still enjoy being girls.


10. What is your least favourite thing about anime?

Too much cutsey, moe' schoolgirl krap, though I do have a FEW shows involving this (If I were a 'toon I'd be a Haruhiist.). See question #18.

If you want to see what real MOE is then check out a Three Stooges episode or three. The movie is in theaters April 13.


11. Who is your favourite anime couple?

Haruhi & Kyon from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. She abuses the krap outta him & he's a glutton for punishment (But then, if God tells you to jump, you immediately "suck it up" & ask: how high?.). They're in love with one another but they won't admit it to themselves let alone each other (At least not when they're awake.).

Yes sir! Kyon has "all the luck in the world." Not all of it's good

12. Who is your favourite anime animal?

Outlaw Stars' Aisha Clan Clan.

"Who you callin' an animal!"

13. What anime would make a good game?

I play checkers on the net, so I'm not much into vid games.


14. What game would make a good anime?

Uh ..... checkers?


15. What was the first anime you ever watched?

8 Man/Eight Man Over. During the 1960s (Yeah, I'm that old!). Was visiting the gradparents in upstate New York. They had what passed for cable & got all the NYC stations (Grandpa & his Yankees!). A cousin happened to mention it being on & was hooked ever since. The NY indy staions (WPIX (ch11), WOR (ch9), etc.) had other anime as well (Astro Boy, The Amazing Three, Gigantor, etc.).

This was back when it wasn't called anime, or even Japanimation. They were uh ..... cartoons.


16. Do you think you’ll ever stop watching anime?

Say what!? That would be about the same time I'd stop watching old movies. When alzheimers kicks in or the Lord calls me home.


17. What is your favourite genre of anime?

Science Fiction, military.


18. What is your least favourite genre of anime?

A high school romance/comedy had better have an interesting "take" before I'll even think of watching it, egs: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (theological whackness), Full Metal Panic Fumoffu (military fish out of water), Lucky Star  (satire), Serial Experiments Lain (existential/theological mind twists), etc.  An exception would be Azumanga Daioh. Cute, funny, simple/sophisticated, & doesn't insult your intelligence.

Chiyo-chan helps Kagura out with a problem. L-R Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga,
 Tomo Takino, Sakaki, Chiyo-chan Mihama, Kagura, Koyomi "Yomi" Mizuhara,
 & "Chiyo father". Credit: J C Staff

19. Are you open about watching anime with people you know?

Yes. Everyone thinks I'm weird anyway so what the heck?


20. Have you ever been to Japan?

I only like some of their movies & cartoons. Don't think I'd care for the "bumper to bumper" environment.


21. What anime was the biggest let down for you?

Chrono Crusade. After about eight eps, nothing was happening except "monster of the week". From the trailer, I was expecting a great riff on The Untuouchables & Catholicism.


22. What anime was better than you expected?

Lucky Star. In spite of it being a partial running advert for The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya it's a great satire of anime & pop culture in general.


23. What is the best anime fight scene?

Vicious & Spike "square off" in episode 5 of Cowboy Bebop:
Ballad of Fallen Angels.

The church shootout between Spike & Vicious in Cowboy Bebop episode #5, Ballad of Fallen Angels.


24. Who is your anime waifu?

I like my women real & of legal age.


25. What was your favourite video game as a child?

I'm from the pinball/pre-Atari era.



Questions About Me


26. Most embarrassing moment?

Too many to count.


27. a) Can you drive?

I'm in my fifties. What do you think?


27. b) Do you own a car?

It owns me.


28. Are you mature?

You're as old as you feel. I'm just as childish & immature as I ever was.


29. What year were you born?

Let's just say I'm soon to be AARP elligable.


30. Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Bats.


31. Describe yourself physically.

Check out the bulletin board at the post office.


32. What would you name your first child?

Bruno, Igor or Adolf.


33. What is the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Cancer.


34. What is your worst habit?

Watching anime.


35. Do you drink or smoke?

No to both.


36. Do you have a tattoo?

No.


37. Are you a morning or a night person?

I'm an insomniac.


38. Have you ever slept past midday?

See above.


39. Do you regret anything?

EVERYTHING!


40. Can you count the number of friends you have on one hand?

Hands n' feet.


41. Do you wear glasses?

Only for reading.


42. Are you a picky eater?

I eat wot I pick.


43. Would you die for someone?

She left the scene long ago.


44. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

Teleportation. I hate driving.


45. Do you believe in the supernatural?

If it's super & it's natural, then it's supernatural.

I believe in God & I'm not talking Haruhi or Lain, etc.


46. Would you rather be rich or famous?

Both.


47. Have you ever committed a crime?

They haven't caught me yet.


48. Time traveller or ghost?

What!?


49. Does someone have a crush on you?

See #43.


50. Are you in a relationship?

Can't afford it.


Hope you enjoyed this. See y'all later.


Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.