Thursday, November 10, 2011

2012 & Third Impact: This Time For Sure!

Pull the shade, draw the curtains .....

                                  2012 & Third Impact: This Time For Sure!


                                                                     Jay Agan

      October 21 has come & gone & it looks as if Harold Camping is wrong again (He has since retired & now says no one can know the time .....). No rapture. No armageddon. No world destruction.

      And for us Evangelion fans, no Third Impact! As for me, good!

      But wait! There is 2012. When the Mayan calender ends. Even though there are no indications that something would happen there has been much speculation about ..... THE END (Roll credits.). It's all bullcrap but then again what a better time for Third Impact to happen.

      So, when the ball drops on New Years' & "Guy Lombardo" strikes up the band (Yeah, I know, the end is actually supposed to be on 12-12-12. You can't be too careful though.), be on the lookout for any hovering, blue haired, Japanese albino schoolgirls in the vicinity. Do whatever you can to avoid physical contact. Fight, run, hide, whatever. Just don't let her get close enough to touch you. You may not like what will happen if you do. That's my advice to you, take it or leave it.

      So there .....

      OK, so much for that. I can only hope somebody takes this warning to heart. I can only do so much to .....

      Awww ..... Nooo! Not you ..... AGAIN?!. It's not even Thanksgiving let alone New Years'. Why are you always picking on ME?! We've been through this ..... how many times already? Twice. Yeah, two times before & both times I've rejected Instrumentality & came back. The last time what was left of me dribbled under the front door & I rematerialized outside my apartment. BUTT NEKKID! Have you any idea how embarrassing that is? (Good thing the door was unlocked.) Come to think of it I don't think you would .....

      Look ..... kid. I don't want Instrumentality. Really, I don't. I don't wanna be one with the greater "whatever". I don't care to be joined to the collective conciousness of the oversoul. I'm not into that communal thing. I'm also not into that fetishy schoolgirl look you seem to effect ..... & .....

      Never you mind what I'm into! That's not the point! The point is I don't wanna go! I like it here. I like being here. And I like me just the way I am. It may be lonely & "painful" but that's the way it is. I can take it.

      Now I know I can't outrun you, so I'm just gonna step right here in this here bath tub (Plug's in? Good!) & pretend you're not here. I figure if I reject Instrumentality beforehand, I won't have to go through the krap of "transcendance" again.

      Let's see now ..... I'm in my happy place ..... I'm in my happy place ..... my happy place ..... happy place ..... happy place ..... happy ..... happy ..... happy ..... Aw darn it! ..... BLOOOOOSH!

      burble ..... burble .....

      LCL ..... Crisp & clean ..... no caffiene. Never had it. Never will!

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  1. Dear Dad,

    I hate you. I hate you a lot. I hate you so much that ..... I REALLY just hate you.

    First Mom croaks on me (Or so you say. I'll bet you snuffed her!). Then you send me away to live with one of my creepy teachers.

    Now that you hauled me back I'm getting the krap beat out of me every other week by giant weirdos from outer space. On alternate weeks I'm getting the krap beat out of me by a redheaded Hitler madchen who hates me more than I do you (I swear, I'm gonna strangle that kid!). To top it off I'm being babysat by an alcoholic stone fox I can't lay a hand on!

    And what's up with that KREEEEEPY Ayanami chick? (Geez! She looks a lot like mom! Brrrrrrrrr!)

    And you tell me to stop whining?! No way! I got every right to whine then some!

    Nobody likes me!
    Everybody hates me!
    I'm going out back & eat worms!

    Your loving son (NOT!),


  2. I just passed an entire cappuccino through my nose. With the cup.

  3. No moreso than Shinji's incessant prattling.

    Shinji! How could Misato have kissed him? How could she have promised future...completion?

    Wait...she knew she was dying!
    Explains the song "Komm, süsser Tod"