Friday, December 2, 2011

Neon Genesis Evangelion: All's Not Right At NERV



The John Birch Society told me all I needed to know about this bunch.


Neon Genesis Evangelion: All's Not Right At NERV

 by

 C V Ford


TOP SECRET

EYES ONLY

THE WHITE HOUSE

WASHINGTON D.C.

September 24, 20--

MEMORANDUM FOR THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

Sir;

As per our recent conversation on this matter, you are hereby authorised to proceed with all due speed & caution upon this undertaking. Hereafter this matter shall be referred to only as Operation Majestic Thirteen. The mission of NERV e-mail intercepts from Tokyo 3 shall continue to be executed out of  the monitoring facilities at Ft. Huachuca, Arizona.

It continues to be my feeling that any future considerations relative to the ultimate disposition of this situation should soley rest with the office of the President following appropriate discussions with yourself, related top rank technical personnel, & the director of INSCOM.

signed,

President ------ - -----

Attached is text of  recent intercepted e-mail showing all may not be right at Tokyo 3, NERV main facility:


Dear (?) Dad,

I hate you. I hate you a lot. I hate you so much that ..... I REALLY just hate you.

First Mom croaks on me (Or so you say. I'll bet you snuffed her!). Then you send me away to live with one of my creepy teachers.

Now that you hauled me back, I'm getting the krap beat out of me every other week by giant weirdos from outer space. On alternate weeks I'm getting the krap beat out of me by a redheaded Hitler madchen who hates me more than I do you (I swear, I'm gonna strangle that kid!). To top it off I'm being babysat by an alcoholic stone fox I can't lay a hand on!

And what's up with that KREEEEEPY Ayanami chick? Geez! She looks a lot like Mom! Brrrrrrrrr!

Come to think of it, so does that Kaworu guy!

And you tell me to stop whining?! No way! I got every right to whine & then some!

Nobody likes me!
Everybody hates me!
I'm going out back & eat worms!

Your loving son (NOT!),

Shinji


Storyline (only) copyright © 12-1-2011 C V Ford

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3 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. You and your Shinji Evangelion mess.

    I mean, you sure have your NERV!

    ReplyDelete