Sunday, December 12, 2010

Worst Worst Case Scenario


Worst Worst Case Scenario


by

Jay Agan

     

Pop in the disc, we're off.....

FBI Warning. The Fat Boys Institute! "If you copy this disc, we'll be really sore at you."

The MPAA is watching you! Wooooooooooooo!

You wouldn't snatch a purse. You wouldn't steal a dvd. You wouldn't download a car. Piracy is a crime, me hearties. Arrrrrrrr!

Stockholm Agreement (Darn Swedes!): The UN on the job. Don't watch this flick at church, school, lunch, on the can, or any where else we don't want you to. Otherwise we'll sic Interpol, KGB, Gestapo, Kempetai, DVD, BVD, LSMFT, & any other alphabet soup we can think of on your sorry butt. Don't think so? Try us! We're mean! Oh yeah. Don't take this disc on an oil rig either. You might start another gulf spill.

Stockholm Agreement (Them Swedes again.): En Francaise. We bite our thumb at you!

Stockholm Agreement. Bore you to death en Espanol. Si! Si!

Stockholm Agreement (Now in Swedish.) Ja! Ve bane gonna put such a thump awn yew an, oh forget it!

3+ trailors of flicks you could care less & less about. Usually from the "independent" studio wot sold them to......

The distributing studio logo. Complete with fanfare, music, spfx, etc. Metro, Goldwyn, Golan & Globus present.......

If its an anime (usually a collaborative effort), 4+ logos of studios from 2+ other countries along with their respective fanfares, music, spfx, etc. (Banzai Visual et al)

The opinions, statements, commentaries, nasty rumors, & back bites on this disc do not necessarily reflect those of the staff, management, flunkies, & covert operatives of Yadda Yadda Studios, or of their respective affiliates & tax shelters. However, any distress on your part would be considered a plus.

THX! The audience is sleeping.

The originating studios' logo. Also with its respective fanfare, mucous, and spfx, etc.
THE FLICK.

Do ... not ... get me started on the 15+ minutes of end credits. Who catered, who did the laundry, who was "with the band", who ... SEE!? Ya got me started!

I know! I KNOW! You can always skip through it (or prestop, stop, then menu) (on some you can't). But hey! I love a parade. Don't you?

                                               

Article copyright © Jay Agan

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