Friday, October 18, 2013

Anime: If I Had A Bajillion Bucks

Rei, Asuka She Wolf of the SS and Shinji share a peaceful moment.

Anime: If I Had A Bajillion Bucks

I forget what anime message board it was on but I came accross an interesting thread called "If I Had a Billion Dollars". In it, the participants discussed what anime they would back if they had the dough to do so. This intrigued me so I came up with a few ideas of my own. Power Ball winner? Me? Hey! It could happen!

Forget Peter Jacksons' travesty. THIS ... is the one.

1. Lord of the Rings - Peter Jackson DID NOT film LOTR. He made an abortion he calls LOTR but it is not the same. He took things out. He put things in. In an effort to appeal to a broad audience, he made female characters more prominent and had them doing things not in the original story. His appeals to PC/feminism DID NOT improve the story. Shoot ... The Ralph Bakshi version of '78, in spite of budgetary/time constraints, is superior in that it's true to the story.

I've concluded that the only way LOTR would be done justice on film is to take some money to Studio Ghibli with the following conditions.

A. Five films. The Hobbit, the trilogy, and Tom Bombadil with several stories from the Silmarillion.

B. NOTHING to be added or subtracted from the stories. The exception being Tom Bombadil. Even Bakshi had to exclude that part hence a fifth film.

The Angel Beats gang, We're MAD at God. Hey! We gotta' blame somebody!

2. Redo Angel Beats!. 13 episodes wasn't enough. We were left in the dark about most of the characters, their back stories, motivations etc. All we know is their lives were less than adequate and they shared Yuris' resentment/anger at God.

God commands the franchise continue. So it is written ... So it must be.
Etcetera ... Etcetera ... Etcetera ...

3. Continue the Haruhi Suzumiya franchise. For various reasons (The list being too long to go into.) Kyoto Animation stopped doing it. I like the concept of God being an unknowing, over-reaching young lady whose friends do what they can to keep her from finding out about herself.

Get another studio to do it maybe. As long as they stick to Tanigawas' concept and Itos' character designs, I'll go for it.

The "virus" of mankind must be destroyed. The virus prefers to disagree ...

4. Dub Gunbuster into English. Why? I'm an English speaking old white guy who happens to like the show. I understand there are technical hurdles to dubbing this as the vocal, sound FX/music tracks are actually one track. All the same, I think it could be done with enough money and technical expertise behind the effort.

Rapture schmapture! YOU GONNA' GIT TANGED!

5. Evangelion: Yes You CAN Redux- I have not seen 3.33 yet. From what I've heard, seen and read of it, Anno has really radically departed from the original. Perhaps (In my estimation.) jumped a whole school of sharks. I have every intention of having all four of the "rebuild" films but I can't help but get the feeling the original series is going to be the definitive of the franchise.

With that, if I had the money, I would back a redo of the original either as a 26 ep series plus End Of or as four "re-rebuild" films with the following conditions:

A. Stick more with the original series. No fourth impact. No gap of so many years. No spaceships, etc.

B. Make it more Biblically compliant. I really liked the original series having you "looking over your shoulder for God". Of course keep the Kaballic trappings/weirdness in. How else is one to justify the presence of lillith or be able to name all those "angels"?

Don't know why I like this character. Maybe it's because I'm a Sarah Palin fan.

B. Mari Makinami ... yes ... the only thing I really like about the rebuilds. Gotta have her along ...

An example by Satoshi Urushihara of the "color/texture"
I would like to see in a Book of Revelation anime.

6. The Book of Revelation aka The Apocalypse of St. John the Divine- No, not some end timey whimey rapture bunny fantasy ala Tim LaHaye/Hal Lindsey. Rather a LITERAL word for word visual depiction by various artists and studios, read by various voice artists and celebrities (Keith David maybe?). The visual images conjured up from reading The Book of Revelation were made for anime. Miyazaki and Shinkai could have a field day with this.

Satoshi Urushihara is a manga artist who has achieved a color/texture "effect" I think would go well with a film like this. Anyone into anime/manga and cruises the net a lot has run into his work from time to time. He is to anime/manga what Technicolor was to film and Alberto Vargas to pin-ups. Sadly, his main body of work is porn/hentai.

As an aside, a "friend", a notorious T-shirt monger from Alabania who shall remain nameless (His company and name rhyme with Aardvark Tees/Weatherly Hardy.) posited an idea: When the "whore of Babylon" appears (Revelation, Chapters 17 and 18.) the Gainax "bounce" should be utilized. Hmmm ... Not sure if that would be edifiying and uplifting (Pardon the pun.) but it certainly would be apocalyptic!

7. Since Bandai dropped the ball on marketing anime DVDs here it might not be a bad idea to buy up the marketing rights to their shows. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and Lucky Star among others, have been hanging in Limbo long enough.

That's it for now. Any further pipe dreams I come up with, I'll write 'em down.

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  1. It uplifts AND separates!

    (I forgot that I had said that. Such a genius am I!)

    1. Such an EVIL genius am you! I find it hard to believe you were a divinity student once ...

  2. They never taught me how to make the fudge....

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