Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Sex & Candy. Well ... Not Really

Looks like Walt Disney threw up.

                                         Sex & candy. Well ... Not Really


                                                                     Jay Agan

During my four year exile in New Jersey, there was a health food store in Wyckoff on Goffle Rd. I would frequent. Once, while searching for a chocolate substitute, I ran across an M&M-like candy called, I kid you not ... Nookies.

One can only wonder what was going on in the minds of the people who thought that name up. Years later, someone said that perhaps they wanted a name people would remember. I certainly have.

All sorts of snide little thoughts ran through my head on seeing it: "Wow! I've been going about it all wrong. I could have as much & when I wanted for only 55 cents a pack! How convenient! When I think of all the time, money & effort I wasted ... etc. etc. ..."

Years later, working at the pistol range, I mentioned this to a regular. Seems he knew about the candy & had a story to tell.

There was a health food store across the street from the church he attended. Church let out & several parishoners & general public were there. Among them a young couple from the congregation. The girl espied the candy & bought a pack. Being a wide eyed innocent she didn't know what the term meant. Her boyfriend rolled his eyes, smiled & refrained from comment.

As they're going out the door, she turns to him smiling in obvious openness /innocence, offers him some candy in front of all & sundry in the store & says:

"Want a Nookie?"

Boyfriend was, to say the very least, embarrassed, mortified.

I leave to your imagination as to the varied reactions of everyone else present.

Article copyright © 7-4-2012 Jay Agan

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  1. I want my green M&Ms.

    Jay. Do me a favor. Send me a decent picture of your own bad self. I didn't take any at Anime Punch.

    OH! May be at Matsuricon! I'm thinkin' Bono!

  2. I don't do very well around cameras, mirrors & sunlight. I'll try to have a photo taken soon.

    If you're gonna be at Matsuricon I guess I'll be there too.