Sunday, July 10, 2011

Urban Legend: Emasculation by Auto? Yes It DOES Happen!

The Automobile: Mans' second best friend. Sometimes not.

                     Urban Legend: Emasculation by Auto? Yes It DOES Happen!


                                                                    Jay Agan

      We've all heard of "urban legends". You know. Idiots putting small dogs in microwave ovens in order to dry them off after a bath with horrendous results. Fools boiling gasoline in the hope their cars will start quicker. Weirdos/criminals spotted in the back seat ready to pounce. These & other stories we only hear about & are usually unsubstantiated. It's always, at best, tertiary sources. "A friend of a friend of a friend told me ..... " etc.

      I do howsomever, remember over the years of actually reading newspaper accounts of stuff like the above, complete with names & dates, so there is something to these stories. I've concluded that, human beings being what they are, "it" probably did happen at least once.

      I recollect some snarky guest on The Joey Reynolds Show (WNBC AM 660 Khz) back in the 80s was "debunking" these "legends" & daring callers to offer real proof. This ticked me off slightly as I thought of the news articles I read up to that time. As no one (Including yours truly.) ever saves these clippings, this guy was probably going to get away with his smugness. Of course now, there's the net &

      One "urban legend" that always stuck in my mind was the (To me.) horror of, to put it politely, "orally produced emasculation". To wit: A woman is "orally stimulating" her boyfriend in a parked car when it is struck from behind & the poor guy "losing it". A painfully tragic story indeed.

      It's understandable if there was seemingly no way to substantiate such a story. I mean, would you want to talk about it if it happened to you? I certainly wouldn't announce it to the world.

      A Sunday co-worker at the shooting range in Powell, Ohio was a full time insurance adjustor by profession. It occured to me that if anyone was in a postion to know about the veracity of such a tale, it would be him. So I asked. I'm with holding his name so this will probably come across as another "tertiary" source. Can't be helped. I myself am at least satisfied that this is true.

      In his then 25 years as an insurance adjustor, he encountered only cases that had occured in moving vehicles. The victim would lose control & end up in a field or running into something. He had handled five such cases. Four mutilations & one complete sever. Now you know.

                                     Article copyright © 7-10-2011 Jay Agan

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  1. See also "The World According to Garp".

  2. Actually did see that one long ago.