Out On A Date

                                                                 
                                                     Out On A Date

                                                                by

                                                                   Jay Agan
     
      I met her at a little Assembly of God church I attended in the 70s. After some time I asked her out. She said yes.

      We went to the movies at the Knox Auto Theater (Interestingly enough, the flick was an entertaining little number called Drive In. For the title music click here.). As we talked before the show I found that she had an uncle named Charles Bronson. Yes, THAT Charles Bronson. Kool! After some coaxing, I found they didn't care much for each other. OK.

      There was some resemblance. Before your mind wanders, I have to say she was a good looking kid & didn't look at all like "Il Bruto". For a couple of weeks I thought I was about to aquire a girlfriend but things didn't pan out.

      On our second & last date, we went to see The White Buffalo starring you know who. She wasn't quite thrilled with that. (It's a bat-crazy, bizzare, little western! Too bad it hasn't come out on disc yet.) She informs me part way through the movie she's interested in someone else (Should have started up the car & driven her back home. Guess I was enjoying the flick too much.). She even had the nerve to bring the "new guy" (Some "pretty boy".) to church & I started thinking in terms other than salvation. Me bitter? Nawww! (Grrrrrrrrrr!)

      I'll always like her uncles' movies (Have a few in my collection.) but just like him, I'm not too crazy about HER. There's an old saying: "Don't do business with anyone you meet in church." Guess that goes for dating too.

                                         Article copyright © 2-27-2011 Jay Agan

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To Grandmothers' House We Go

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

                                       
                                        To Grandmothers' House We Go
                                                                              
                                                               by

                                                                  Jay Agan

      I hated going to my grandparents. Being there was OK, but the trip itself? Eight hours from Mt. Vernon, Ohio to Elmira, NY & Dad loved his air conditioning & cigars. (In the dead of August we're wearing sweaters!) It was great when we stopped. We'd all pile out of the wagon to warm up & clear our sinuses.

      The actual visit to Grandma & Papas' was great. Visiting relatives & getting away with what we otherwise couldn't.

      "Hey, Grandma! Wadya get me!?"

      "Why hon, I have it right here."

      We were steeped in materialism at an early age.

      Yeah, there were things to look forward to in out bi-annual visits. One of which was "different TV". When we left for central Ohio in '61 there were only two TV stations in Elmira. We didn't know about ABC Network until we got to Mt. Vernon.

      While Dad was building a new life for us in the mid-west, Grandpa aquired the services of this new fangled tech. called Cable Television. I got aquainted with it on subsequent visits back to New York state.

      Eleven (Count em!) WHOLE channels (2 through 12. 13, the "meter channel" didn't count.) with something different on each (Unlike hundreds today with NOTHING on.). Back then, TV stations did a lot of their own programming & weren't as dependant on networks. Much of their production, graphics, & shows were either produced locally or "in house".

      Grandpa got cable so he could take in Yankees & Mets games on the New York City independants (WPIX et al). When there, I found a much better use for it: Movies & cartoons! (Including some of those "different" cartoons that I later learned were made in Japan.)

      4, 6, & 10 (WLWC/WCMH, WTVN/WSYX, WBNS) in central Ohio were OK as far as they went but they did have their drawbacks. Almost no sci-fi or horror flicks were ever shown during the day. 10s' Chiller Theater/Armchair Theater reserved that for Friday nights in the 60s through the 90s. 6s Terror In the Night/Seymour Presents on Saturday nights in the 70s. 4 showed quite a lot on weekend afternoons during the '81 baseball strike.

      Anime in central Ohio was next to nonexistant. 10 had Marine Boy/Undersea Boy Marine in the mid 60s on Saturday morning & 6 had Speed Racer/Mach Go Go Go in the early 70s weekday afternoons. Aside from the rare movie (Alakazam the Great, Panda & the Magic Serpent, & Jack & the Witch) that was about it here until Sandy Frank came up with Battle of the Planets/Science Ninja Team Gatchaman in the mid 70s.

      NYC TV via cable? Wow! Sci-fi/horror flicks (As these stations rented different movie "packages" I got to see a lot of flicks I couldn't see at home.) every afternoon in the summer & seemingly wall to wall anime on at least two stations (WPIX ch 11, & I think WNEW ch5.) No one called it "anime" back then. To me, they were those "wierd cartoons we can't 'pick up' back home."

      The "line ups" included 8th Man/8 Man, The Amazing Three/Wonder 3, Astro Boy/Mighty Atom, Gigantor/Tetsujin 28-go among others. "Stone age" anime of the 60s. Mostly black & white, with very minimal animation. Peter Fernandez, Corinne Orr & crew scripted/dubbed the English versions for just about all of them (They also did a LOT of dubs for Italian & Japanese films.) As these were edited down for US audiences, the results were pretty much "kid stuff". Being a kid, that didn't matter much to me at the time. They were still quite different enough for me to appreciate their "otherness".

      Cable finally came to Mt. Vernon in the 70s but we couldn't get it. We lived about a mile & a half out of town & WMVO (1300 AM, 93.7 FM) who ran the franchise, wouldn't go beyond the city limits. Something about it not being profitable enough. I figured it was part of the then ongoing conspiracy to keep me from watching anything kool. How I rankled about what I was missing out on as I would look over the TV Guide & newspaper listings (I envied the kids in New York City!). There were plenty of people living out our way, but as they knew I was out there too, well .....

                                            Article copyright © 2-24-2011 Jay Agan

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Now And Never

      The following are some ramblings on the concept of time I came up with some years ago. I thought I was being original only to find later that others have come up with something similar. And so .....
                                                      
                                                       Now And Never

                                                                  by

                                                                      Jay Agan

      No time to lose. I don’t have time for this. Ain’t got no time.
     
      When people say any of the above, they are speaking a profound truth, though they may not know it. You see, time does not exist. Never has.
     
      Time is a concept, invented, by who I suspect was a manipulator of some kind. It is used to regulate the thoughts/movement of others in "pulling the strings" more efficiently.
                       
      Forget the concept of time. There is no past. (If anything, it is a now that is no more.) To lament     "what might have been", to play the game of "coulda, woulda, shoulda", is to waste now on a fantasy.
                       
      There is no future. Once you "get there", it is now. If (for the sake of arguement) the future does exist, it is not what will be, but what might happen to now. The past might be a single conceptual line, but the future might be many conceptual lines. However, to play "wouldn’t it be nice...", to dwell on "could be, might be, maybe", is a waste of now.
                       
      If you must plan for the nebulous future, plan so you can live now. There is no guarantee you will be alive then. Only now really counts as it’s the only thing you really have.
                        
      Christians and theologians have speculated that Heaven is the eternal now. I say now is eternal everywhere. It is always with you.
                        
      Some will say time exists because of solar cycles, seasons, weather changes, ageing, etc. Not so. (Forget calenders, clocks, seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, years, decades, centuries, etc. These are manipulators inventions.)
                        
      These things are the result of movement. The sun goes "up and down", not due to the passage of time, but because of the earth’s rotation. Seasonal change occurs from our planet’s slightly eliptical orbit around the sun. Ageing results from the interaction of our physical selves to the constantly changing now around and in us.
                        
      Again, these things are the result of movement. The interaction of  things and forces with one another in the great design of the universe.
                        
      The secret of good physical living, is not to avoid wasting time. But, rather, not to misuse now.
                                          
                                               Article copyright © 2-22-2011 Jay Agan

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Call of Cthulhu: One Really Worth Watching

                             The Call of Cthulhu: One Really Worth Watching

                                                              by

                                                                 Jay Agan

      Never before have I seen a more complete & faithful rendition of a Lovecraft story to film. After literally decades of crappy, altered, & sexploited knock offs (Some really only using H. P. Lovecrafts' name for publicity.), a 100% "true to the word" movie actually hit the theaters a few short years ago. Because of its' limited "arthouse" run, few people got to see it. (I don't remember it being shown in central Ohio.) I would have loved to have seen it on the big screen. As it is, I've had to settle on getting the disc & "that ain't bad".

      The original story is the "flaghip" of H.P. Loverafts' "Cthulhu Mythos" set of tales: In the deep dark past of pre-prehistory, non-human beings worshipped a pantheon of less than ethical, trans cosmic "gods". These ethereal beings, indifferent or hostile, manipulated/consumed various sentient species from all over the universe including mankind. Over the eons they fell out of power & the knowledge of man. Wether they were "driven away" or left for their own capricious reasons is unclear. But ..... when the stars are "right" ..... they will return.

      One of these entities is Cthulhu: A behemoth lying "not dead but dreaming" in the sunken city of R'Lyeh somewhere in the southwest Pacific (Anywhere near Kong Island?).

      An investigator, picking up where an uncle left off, tries to find a correlation between various natural catastorphies & mysterious events & succeeds. The story relates three of the incidents: A professors' research in Greenland. A police inspectors' encounter with members of a fantastic cult. And a ship crews' battle with the ultimate horror.

Got this at stevencreech.com/images/posters.

      Then there's the other kool part: This is a silent movie.

      Call of Cthulhu was published in Wierd Tales in 1928. Members of the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society (HPLHS) decided to make the film as if it was made the same year, pre-talkies (Talkin' pitchers r' only a fad. It ain't gonna last!). Except for a music score, it's silent with title cards, & in glorious black & white. The actors have the silent movies "histrionics" down right & the atmosphere really has the look & feel of an old flick (Without all the burns, streaks, spots, splices & background hiss.).

      The film is literally a "back yard" production (The R'Lyeh scenes were done in someones' back yard!). Costing about a quarter million to make with the sets cobbled together with plywood, glue, & nailgun. In spite of its ultra low production values, the result looks like a multi-million endeavor. Looking at the accompanying documentary on the disc, I marvelled at what one can do with very little money.

      Lovecraft fans owe it to themselves to get the disc. I got mine a few years back at Barnes & Noble for about 20 bucks. Info can be obtained from the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society.

      By the way. The HPLHS is in the process of finishing another film: The Whisperer In Darkness. As this story was published in 1931, it's a talkie. Black & white with minimal music (Musical scores weren't a big thing til about the mid 1930s.).

Trailers for The Call of Cthulhu here.

HPLHS ad for The Call of Cthulhu here.

Trailers for The Whisperer In Darkness here.

Previous article to a Loveraft film (Dark Heritage/The Lurking Fear) here.

                                    Article copyright © 2-19-2011 Jay Agan

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DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

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Lucky Star, Yak! Yakkity! Yak!

Yes ..... they talk ..... a LOT! Oh, look! They're talking now!
Tsukasa, Konata, Miyki, & Kagami. Photo: Kyoto Animation

                                          Lucky Star, Yak! Yakkity! Yak!

                                                                 by

                                                                    Jay Agan

      At first, that's what I thought it was. At second, it still is. But now I get it.

      My first attempt at viewing Lucky Star ended the same as my efforts at watching Gone With the Wind. Disaster! I couldn't make it past the cream horn eating debate in episode one so I went on to other things. 24 episodes of four girls CONSTANTLY discussing such weighty matters as girl talk, dodging homework, dieting, girl talk, the weather, boys, girl talk, pop culture, hair care, girl talk ..... No way was I going to be able to take this one in! And after that zippy opening credits number, what a let down! (The "Konata drop" at the end of the cheer line never fails to get a chuckle out of me.)

      Call it senility, stupidity, temporary dementia, what have you ..... a few weeks later I gave it another try. Got past the cream horn "speed bump" & after going through the first four eps I started to actually enjoy it. (No. It didn't get me in touch with my "feminine side". And no, you DON'T want to meet her!)

      The show centers around obsessed otaku Konata Izumi & her level headed (Kagami Hiiragi) & not so level headed (Tsukasa Hiiragi, Miyuki Takara) foils. In their typical & sometimes atypical everyday activities we get an observation or ten on media culture & to what degree it affects (Infects?) the world. As Kagami exasperatingly observes more than once to Konata: "It all comes down to THAT with you, doesn't it?"

      Others in the cast are a slightly off center homeroom teacher (Nanako Kuroi), an authority figure  who drives like a maniac (Yui Narumi, Konatas' policewoman cousin.), & Konatas' lolita complex "afflicted" dad (He doesn't try to act on it overtly. Surprisingly, his flakey daughter is a stabilising force. eg. the "..... too close, you're freaking me out!" scene in episode 18.) Shades of Azumanga Daioh! Second season eps put some attention on Konatas' even more diminutive freshman cousin (Yutaka Kobayakawa) & her friends.

Fear & loathing on the (un)Lucky Channel.
Akira & Minoru. Photo: Kyoto Animation

      The cast is rounded out by the two members (Akira Kogame, Minoru Shiraishi) of the "show within a show", Lucky Channel. Ostensibly to comment & inform about Lucky Star it's mostly about Akiras' (Slipping in & out of "character".) jealousy, grumbling bitterly over her flagging acting career & bullying Minoru as a result (He later explodes in ep 21.).

      The constant, obvious, visual/verbal references (No subtext here!) are more than a clue that this show is a running commentary/satire on anime/manga/gaming in particular, & pop culture (Japanese & otherwise.) in general. It's also a continuous ad for The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, another Kyoto Animation property.

      Being that the show is about otaku "culture" (Before dabbling in anime, I used to think otakus was a Frito-Lay product. I like the Cool Ranch & Barbecue flavors.) we see most everything through the eyes of the "showcased" Konata. Through her we are given a first person accounting of the trials, tribulations, & FINANCIAL dificulties rabid fans go through, & how manipulative some can be in their desperation to indulge . (I like it that she could con two friends into canvassing the huge Comiket convention for her {ep 12}, & have her buddies accompany her to the Kyoto Animation studios during a field trip {ep 21}.) In ep 16 we see Konata in action at her job in a "cosplay" cafe (It was a kick to hear Wendee Lee switch horses in midstream & reprise her Haruhi role.).

      Though we are taken through about 2+ years of classes, the high school scene is only a backdrop for the above mentioned references (Too numerous to count.). One has to be a true fan to "get" even half of them (I got about a quarter.). I was more interested in Konatas' "relationship" with them. The character is really wrapped up in it (Aren't you glad YOU're not like that?).

      Lucky Star has everything: Nonstop talk, comedy, nonstop talk, anime/pop cult. references, nonstop talk, product placements, nonstop talk ..... Not my kind of anime but enjoyed watching just the same. You just have to get past the discourse. Fade to white .....

                                        Article copyright © 2-17-2011 Jay Agan

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DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied (with permission) in whole or in part. Please be sure to give proper credit & backlink.

H.P. Lovecrafts' Dark Heritage

                                        
H.P. Lovecrafts' Dark Heritage

by

Jay Agan

As with the majority of fans of H.P. Lovecraft, I've found most film adaptations of his works to be less than merely lacking. Many were downright pathetic and laughable. Excessively altering and straying too much from the story, new characters and generally everyone putting in their own "touches". This is because most of the authors' works were short stories and thus not really suited for feature length films. Made for crappy cinema at best.

Up until the fan made Call of Cthulhu (Not only the best but 100% faithful and one of four worth watching.), the best you could hope for were The Dunwich Horror and Die, Monster, Die! (And only because Boris Karloff is in that one.) I exclude the ones made by the Band family. Barbara Crampton's fun to watch but I can't see them as Lovecraft. The fourth one (Marketed by Passion Productions.) I stumbled on in a now defunct dollar store in Delaware, Ohio.

 Dark Heritage the Final Deccendant is pretty much a low budget affair. Certainly looks it and yet I've found it more entertaining and interesting than most previous attempts at Lovecraft. Based (uncredited) on his short story The Lurking Fear, it's a not bad little thriller. Yes, it has some extra "stuff" and characters to pad it out and an added surprise ending (Which isn't bad as it's "Lovecraftian" in its own way.). The location was changed from the Catskills of New York to Louisiana. It still sticks to the basic plot of the story however. H. P.s' stories were narrative and research oriented and this film at least gives more than a nod to the research part.

Both film and story are centered around an investigator (In the film, a newspaper reporter.) looking into the history of a presumably extinct family and its' connection to a series of bloody mass killings. Killings that happen when thunderstorms are raging. Turns out the family isn't extinct but has degenerated into an incest perpetuated group of underground dwelling troglodytes. Thunder drives them "up from under" and they go on the prowl.

This seems to be one of those "regional" productions. (1968s' Night of the Living Dead could fall into this category.) Very location bound with several sets of last names in the cast. Lotsa relatives contributed to the making of this film.

Dark Heritage has the lowest production values I've ever seen in a Lovecraft adaptation. This is more than made up for in its' faithfulness to the source material. For that it's more than good enough for me to have as a keeper.

Article copyright © 2-15-2011 Jay Agan

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A Buster Douglas Anecdote

1847 Colt-Walker cap & ball black powder revolver. If
you miss, it makes a great club!

                                              A Buster Douglas Anecdote

                                                                 by

                                                                    Jay Agan

      He was manager of the gun store/pistol range I worked at back in the 90s. Methodical, with that Germanic/Lutheran stoicism, & a heightened business sense. Wasn't even 25 but mature beyond his years.

      He did have his quirks. Very much into the "country" thing. Drove a pickup (Had an 8 track player. Came with the truck.), wore a "duster" & "cowboy" hat. Loved country music (He would get on request lines for songs at least two times older than he was. Made more than one DJ look foolish for not having the desired song.).

      When he got into something, he never went half way. At the time of this article, he was deeply commited to black powder shooting. So much so, it was what he carried at the shop: two large replica 1847 Walker Colt cap & ball pistols.(Every three months or so in this country, some idiot tries to hold up a gun store, thus we carried.)
    
      It was rather funny looking. He weighed all of about 120 lbs & had no hips to speak of. Held that gunbelt up by sheer force of will. I once turned from the counter, inadvertantly bumped him & he went flying (I'm not a big guy. I must have been about 175 at the time. Fat old man.). I felt terrible. After about five minutes of apologies he told me to shut up. (What a guy!)

      He followed the usual procedure of insuring that a cap & ball revolver would perform properly when needed: Shoot it once a day & clean it. About a couple hours before closing he'd go on the range, fire one off, go to the back room to clean/reload, & repeat with the other one. Quite impressive seeing those hog legs touch off. A loud, low, PHOOM! with accompanying fireball & sparks. A sight to see I'm tellin' ya.

      One late summer afternoon, two BIG guys & a couple of young men walk in. The first said he had never been to this range before & could I explain procedure. After going over the range/safty rules they signed in for two booths & entered the range. Right after, a customer walked up to the counter.

      "Do you know who that is!?"

      "Uh, no."

      "That's Buster Douglas!"

      I look at the signed Range Use Agreement. Turns out he, his sparring partner & their sons were having some down time.

      Meaning no disrespect to Mr. Douglas, but I was never much into sports of any kind & quit being enthralled by "celebrity" long before. I & the other fellow behind the counter explained that our attitude was that Mr. Douglas (Or anyone of note.) put his pants on one leg at a time like everyone else & probably appreciates it when no one is fawning all over him. We've had "leading lights" come through our doors before. I will say anyone who can pull off a win against Mike Tyson deserves some respect.

      After twenty minutes, it was "about that time" to "clean the guns" & off goes the manager to the range (Oh boy! It's nuke time!). He goes to booth one so as not to disturb anybody (Mr. Douglas & Co. were on 9 & 10). Six "Phoom! n' flashes" later, he's in the back room cleaning merrily away.

      A few minutes later, the Douglas party comes out to settle up. As they're about to leave, Mr. Douglas asks my fellow counter guy about the pyrotechnic display from a few minutes before. Both he & the owner give a short explanation about black powder firearms.

      For several days after, we kidded the manager for putting "the fear of God" into the World Heavyweight Champion. He was not amused. As for Mr. Douglas, I doubt he scares so easily. He seemed a little impressed though.
                                               
                                            Article copyright © 2-13-2011 Jay Agan

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This article (only) may be copied with permission. Please include proper credit & backlink.     
                                                         

One For Anime Fans: Go For Broke!

                                      One For Anime Fans: Go For Broke!

                                                                 by

                                                                    Jay Agan

      Hey anime fans! Got a movie for ya. Yes. Movie. Not anime. Not the "c" word (kartune). MOVIE. You know. Real live people, not fantastically drawn characters. Oh yes. You younger ones might want to stop right here & go on to something else as this flick is ..... Ya ready? ..... in black & white!
     
      So it must not be worth a look-see right? Wrong! You just might find it interesting. And so .....

      Go For Broke! (MGM 1951)- A fictionalized account of several officers & men of the 100th Battalion & 442nd Regimental Combat Team. Composed mainly of Nisei (2nd generation Americans of Japanese descent.), the unit was deployed in Italy & France during the Second World War. Eager to prove their loyalty (Even after the shoddy treatment they & their families recieved after Dec. 7, 1941.), the regiment became the most decorated unit in the U.S. Army.

      Van Johnson stars as a less than eager platoon commander, unwilling to lead troops who "look like the enemy". As he continues in his assignment, both he & they come to respect one another as fellow soldiers fighting a two front war against the Axis & hostility from their own side. Other members of the cast (Lane Nakano, George Miki, Akira Fukunaga, Ken Okamoto, Henry Oyasato, Harry Hamada) are combat veterans of the unit.
     
      By the way, Sen. Daniel K. Inouye (D Hawaii) is a decorated (Medal of Honor) veteran of the 100th.

      This film is usually found on disc copied from poor condition "public domain" prints. Warner Video sells an excellent example as part of a triple bill (Never So Few & Objective Burma. Two you may not be crazy about. I love em! But then, I'm not as "into anime" as you are.)

      Captured German officer: "These men. What are they? Chinese?"

      Van Johnson: "No! Didn't ya hear? Japan surrendered. Now they're fighting for us!"

                                            Article copyright © 2-10-2011 Jay Agan

Go For Broke movie link to You Tube here.

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DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP                                              

Superfluous

                                                            Superfluous

                                                                    by

                                                                       Jay Agan

      "Ok, I'll need your name and other pertinent info."

      "All right, the name is Jay Agan."

      "Could you spell the last name?"

      "Yes, A  g  a  n."

      "Ok, that's H ....."

      "Sigh. Uh, no it's A ....."

      "Yes, H ....."

      "No, A."

      "Could you spell that out, sir?"

      "Sigh. (thought I just did) Yes. That's A  G  A  N."

      "Uh, alright, H ....."

      "No. A."

      "Yes sir, sigh. H ....."

       "I said A (What's wrong with this guy!)."

       "Uh, ......You said H."

      Blink, blink. "(This is getting desparate!) Let me try something ....."

      "Well, uh, I ....."

      "Alpha golf alpha november."

      "Uh,  ..... what?"

      "ALPHA, GOLF, ALPHA, NOVEMBER."

      "I'm afraid I don't understand sir."

      "(You have good reason to be afraid. I know I am.) It's military phonetic."

      "Military what? I ....."

      "(My God, My God! Why hast thou forsaken me.!?) I'm trying to spell my last name in a fashion used by the military under bad conditions."

      "I don't know about any 'bad conditions' or what fraternities and sports have to with this and this is actually February ....."

      "(God is dead!) OK! OK! Lemme try something else! We'll do a 'counting' method. Write down the first letter of the alphabet!"

      "Alright. H ....."

      "(There is no God .....)"

      Just a little attempt at humor folks. Back to our regular "programming" Friday. See ya then!
                                               
                                              Article copyright © 2-8-2011 Jay Agan

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The Lovely Bones: Of Kreeps & Killings

Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) confronts her destiny in
The Lovely Bones. Photo credit: Film 4, WingNut Films,
Dreamworks SKG

                                     The Lovely Bones: Of Kreeps & Killings

                                                                 by

                                                                    Jay Agan

      I usually try to stay away from films like this. Yanking away at the heartstrings, disorienting, & putting your mind off in all directions. Where to begin .....

      The Lovely Bones is the story of 14 year old Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) whose life is cut short by neighbor George Harvey (Disturbingly played by Stanley Tucci). As she has some emotional/spiritual baggage to unload, she is "stuck" in an "in-between" before passing on to Heaven. As she constructs her own little fantasy world she keeps an eye on her family & tabs on her killer.

      While in this "purgatory" accompanied by "Holly Go Lightly"/Denise Ang (Nikki SooHoo), events surrounding her murder play out. Her family falls slowly apart & gets back together. Her sister, Lindsey (Rose McIver), suspecting the creep neighbor, conducts her own investigation. And Mr. Creepy, well he .....

      Turns out Mr. Harvey is a serial killer who's been at it almost 13 years. Moving from one town to the next he's run up a score of nine. As the exhilaration of Susies' hit wears off, he plans to add another tic mark. This time Lindsey, who he notices has been keeping an eye on him. Therein hangs the story.

      I've found the movie to be better than Alice Sebolds' book. The film is basically the same but without the long passages of Susies' introspection thus really moving the story along.

      There are three problems I have with this flick. Not as much film time is spent in the afterlife as I'd like. Perhaps Mr. Jackson didn't want an overload of SPFX as in his Lord of the Rings or King Kong. (I think Mr. Jackson redeemed himself from these two abominations with this film.) Why did sick boy keep the body so long? The book had him getting it to the sinkhole as soon as he could. Sure it was in a safe but you'd think the smell would still permeate the house. Even though he was being spied on, wouldn't killing off a member of a previous victims' family be a little suspicious looking? I think the police call it a ..... clue.

      As it is, everything turns out all right in the end. Even for Susie. Everything, that is, except for George "Norman Bates" Harvey.

      In spite of this being a good film I still dislike it. The movie is an emotional roller coaster sending the emotions every which way. I really don't like such mind manipulation at all. I guess I'll still be keeping this one in my collection though. Why? I'm not gonna tell ya!

      Excuse me. I have something in my eye.

      "Nobody notices when we leave. I mean ..... the moment when we really choose to go. At best ..... you might feel ..... a whisper ..... or ..... the wave of a whisper ..... undulating down.

      "My name is Salmon. Like the fish. First name Susie.

      "I was 14 years old when I was murdered on December 6, 1973.

      "I was here for a moment ..... & then I was gone.

      "I wish you all ..... a long & happy life."

                                                Article copyright © 2-6-2011 Jay Agan

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Another Wot Coulda Been Anime

George Barrows as the beast of Revelation strikes
in Robot Monster. 1953 Photo credit: Astor Pictures

                                         Another Wot Coulda Been Anime

                                                                 by

                                                                     Jay Agan

     The last family on Earth fights a desperate struggle for survival against an alien "horde" composed of a single invader. Hilarity ensues when the Ro-Man turns out to be George Barrows wearing a gorilla suit & space helmet! Name of the film: Robot Monster! A Phil Tucker masterpiece guaranteed to bring on the laughs. The reviews it got back in 1953 alledgedly drove Tucker to attempt suicide. Just watching it may get you to thinking the same. Fer instance:

     Familiar stock footage from One Million BC, Flight to Mars & other oldies to pad it out.

     An epic "battle" scene straight out of DBZ (Just kidding!), where the heroine is obviously giggling over her perilous predicament.

     Atrocious philosiphizing about how "must" & "cannot" be existentially reconciled. Think of all the screwy pop philosophy/dialogue that comes up in so many anime. ("People die when they get killed." How profound!)

     A "near rape" scene that has you going ..... "What the ..... ?"

     Special effects consisting of flashes (Uh, oh ..... "The Pokemon Effect"!), electrical buzzes, negative exposure photography, & lots & lots of ..... BUBBLES!

     Maybe they could have the Sailor Moon & Dragonball folks collaborate on this one.

     Most critics & discriminating viewers were really down on this one when it was released. While the incredible cheesiness & under the top quality are more than obvious, I cannot help but wonder (Spoiler ahead!): It turns out in the end it was only a kids' fever dream. A fellow on the Classic Horror Film board once remarked about this film on how the "production values" of a lot of his dreams/nightmares were pretty sparse. Same for me. It could be the ultra schlockiness of this flick was intentional & nobody got the "joke". Instead it's on us.

     By the way. The composer of the "opressive" music for this film is Elmer Bernstein. I find it hard to believe this is the same guy who wrote the compositions for DeMilles' The Ten Commandments. If so, a classic case of "from the depths to the heights."

     "You can not escape me ..... Hu-man! ..... Very well ..... I will recalculate ..... Your death will be In-De-Scri-BABLE! Fool ..... hu-mans! There is no escape!"

Robot Monster trailer & commentary here.

Hell & High Water: A Movie Wot Coulda Been Anime here.

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DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied (With permission.) in whole or in part. Please include proper credit and backlink.
                                           
                                                Article copyright © 2-3-2011 Jay Agan

Two Ring Circus

Nanako Matsushima finds out that movies are still your best
entertainment. Ringu (Toho Co. Ltd & Kadokawa Shoten 1998)

                                                      Two Ring Circus

                                                                 by

                                                                    Jay Agan

     So, what is it with "Hollywood"? (I'm referring to the mentality. I know a lot of films are not "made" there.) Just what is it that makes these folks take a property & mess with it? We've all seen it before: A best selling book. A great foriegn film/classic film. Something that was wonderful, inspirational, or just dang kool. They take it & make/remake it into a piece of on-screen garbage. Look at what they did to Lord of the Rings, Godzilla, or any original & see the mess they made of it. Krap! Whole & total.

     I can only imagine how these "products" came to be. The book, concept, script, original work goes in one end of the "mill" & out the other. Passed from one to the other, everyone along the line has to put his mark, his stamp on it in order to make it "his". Each one wants to take his/her respective "significant other", point to the screen at a certain part & say, "see baby? This is why this film is 'mine'." It may be his/theirs but it's not one I'd want.

     What are they thinking when they "communicate" with one another? What goes on in these meetings of theirs? What kind of sick demons are rattling inside their skulls as they sodomize a property beyond the point of undeath?

     "Hey! Let's take out/add/change characters!"

     "Let's change the setting & plot!"

     "Why don't we jazz up the concept? See how much of an event we can make of this!"

     "Moderize it! More action & zip!"

     "Y'know? A nude scene or two definitely wouldn't hurt. Yeah! Let's go with that!"

     "We can get (Insert name of latest actor/whore du jour.) for the part. I know he/she's not right for it but audiences love him/her!"

     "Let's ....."

     "Let's appeal to the lowest common denominator!"

     If they were at all honest with themselves, their meetings would start off with:

     "How do we (With a capital F.) this?"

     Take Ringu for instance. I picked it up as a three buck special at Big Lots. I had seen The Ring a few years before & did not like it. Thanks to this Japanese original I like it even less.

     Ringu is a nice little "subdued" supernatural thriller about an urban legend where viewers of an off beat short film are killed off by a curse within a week unless they "pass" the tape on. The U.S. ("Hollywood"!) remake covers the same ground though execrably so.

     Ringu has only about two "vague" death scenes (I guess the babe coming out of the TV induces heart attacks or something.) Most of the film is devoted to tracking down & stopping the curse.

     The Ring? Well ..... The only thing I can write in its favor is they didn't add or take away much in the way of plot but what they did was more than enough to ruin it.

     I can see it now: "Hey guys! I gotta great idea! Let's add a some more deaths & kill a horse!"

     The extra deaths did nothing at all for the story & "broke up" the investigations' progression. As for the horse ..... that was just mean.

     If they wanted to "improve" on RIngu all they had to do IMHO was release it here with an English voice track. As it is, Ringu is the superior film even if I have to "struggle" with subtitles.

     "Hollywood" .....

     By the way ..... If you re-view the tape on the sixth day, do you get a seven day extension?

                                            Article copyright © 2-1-2011 Jay Agan

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DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied (with permission) in whole or in part. Please include credit reference & backlink.