Gassssssss ... A Cautionary Tale

Disclaimer: The following is an article on stupidity and carelessness, NOT a recommendation that one should try this.


Gassssssss ... A Cautionary Tale


No, I'm not writing about that silly 1970 A.I.P film (I liked the '58 Edsel.). Rather, this is about summat wot happened to me back in the '90s while living in the OSU campus area.

Like most bachelors, I tend to be on the untidy side and oft times let things slide. Every few months I'd get tired of living in a pig pen and do some clean up.

One fine clean up, I noticed the toilet had gotten a bit uh ... rank. After some scrubbing, getting what could be gotten out manually, I decided to go the chemical route on the staining.

Now I know urine contains amonia and using bleach on it is NOT a good idea. I had no idea that the bleach would react so strongly to the staining. I'd done this before in the past with no problem and went ahead. After all, the commode was flushed and the water "clean". So I dumped some in.

Being the insomniac I always was, it was time for a sporadic nap.

A half hour later, I wake up to the sound of coughing ... mine ...

Why is there a light mist drifting about my apartment?

Why do my eyes and nose sting?

Why am I coughing?

Why do I think I just did something incredibly dumb?

Putting 2 and 2 together (Twentytwo!), I rush to the bathroom to find the head bubbling/percolating merrily away. Sounding for all the world like I just poured a glass of Coke.

So what if it was the dead of winter, temp in the teens, snow on the ground?

Flush! Windows open! Fans/AC on full blast! Waving a large piece of cardboard around ...

The haze dissipated and as I wasn't coughing up blood or chunks of lung, I went on with life.

I am living proof that God watches over children and phools ... uh ... fools!

Interestingly enough, it was the English who first used gas in warfare.
Comic strip credit: Smackybean on Deviantart.

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