Friday, March 29, 2013

Monday, March 25, 2013

The Zombie Apocalypse That Never Was

Nawww! It warn't nuthin' like that ... Clockwise: Saeko Busujima , Rei Miyamoto,
Alice Maresato, Shizuka Marikawa & Saya Takagi from High School of the Dead.

The Zombie Apocalypse That Never Was

by

C V Ford


The problem with young 'uns today is they're taught to be hopelessly nostalgic for a '60s that never was & a zombie apocalypse that will never be.

Now me, I've been through both & I'm here ta tell ya it ain't like they said. Take the so-called zombie outbreak some years back. What they, yer teachers 'n college perfessers along with Hollywood are tellin' ya is just outright bullkrap.

First, the numbers are inflated. There wasn't a hippie ... er ... zombie on every corner. The massive hoards in the big cities they talk about were actually rioters, looters 'n criminals takin' advantage of the panic. They 'n some of their victims made up most of the bodies tossed on the bonfires.

It started out as a few creepin' out from morgues, hospitals, accident sites, or from just droppin' dead from old age, aneurisms, heart attacks 'n whatnot. It then expanded to whoever they could git their hands on 'n sink their teeth into. Still wasn't that many.

The graveyards rarely gave up their dead. Most graves contain dust 'n bone & the ones with any meat on 'em are too dried out to be viable. As for the ones that could move, most of 'em weren't going anywhere. Burial vaults bein' quite sturdy 'n all.

The zombies themselves were no big deal. Some were fast, some were slow, but they were all dumbern' a a sack 'a hammers, clumsy as all git out 'n were easily killed off with a .22 to the head. Wasn't too hard to spot 'em either. Stumbled all over the landscape lookin' like they crawled out from under the sub basement of an outhouse. Sorta kinda fitting 'cause they smelled like it too. Shoot, you could find 'em in the dark! Y' know ... come to think of it, a lotta homeless people came up missin' later. Guess folks got a little carried away.

There wasn't any 'a that stupid posturing 'n theatrics either. Anyone struttin' around with a ball bat, machete or a crossbow takin' 'em on at close quarters got what he deserved. That Walkin' Dead garbage is just that. Man, if I was gonna watch some 'a that undead stuff on the tube, itd' be some Jap toon like High School o' the Dead n' whatnot. Man, the T n' A in that 'un is wayyyyy out there. Downright sinful iffn' ya ask me ... Saw it three times already.

No ... Poppin' em in the head at a distance was the order du jure of the day. They were easy enough to kill if you were intelligent. One fella in one 'a the big cities boarded up his house, put his stereo speakers on the roof 'n cranked 'er up. Had a 500 brick 'a .22 & plunked away all day. Unfortunately a buncha' kids thought a concert was goin' on 'n ... well ... They came out just as good as the zombies.

No ... It was no big deal ... The only real trouble I had was when Missy Dora Schlockendreck ... She's the nosey, feminoid hyena from down the street. Prides herself on bein' a liberal or whatever it is they call commie dipwads these days. Voted for that jerk in the white house more n' twice if you know what I mean.

Well she gets into her non-mind that somehow my bestest bud Cal's a zombie. Even starts pullin' a gun on 'im! Came as a surprise to me. Was always (An' still is!) goin' 'round tryin' to make it so nobody owns guns 'n there she was ... Whippin' one out 'n makin' like Wyatt Earp! She quieted down some after I shoved a .38 in her face 'n explained that Cal wasn't 'n never has been a zombie. He always looks like that!

As it turned out, the zombie outbreak lasted 'bout a couple weeks 'n things pretty much quieted down after that. Economy picked up. Lotsa recently vacated job positions needed fillin', so unemployment took a dive. Also fewer politicians around to mess with the economy 'n fewer welfare sucks for 'em to appeal to. Like I said before ... folks got a little carried away. Things couldn't help but improve.

Alright! here comes Cal with the burgers an ... What th' ... Aw come on Cal! You KNOW I like mine medium. I don't understand ... Lately you been likin' your meat drippin' red. What's up with that anyhow?

 
Story copyright © 3-27-13 C V Ford


Not so HOTD here.


Go to C V Fords' profile page and stories listing on fanfiction dot net here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the copyrighted names/characters, places, & events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of their respective owners. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase & enjoyment of their products.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Haibane Renmei: Awww Rats! ... Again

Didn't know such technology was available in Gurie/Glie.


Haibane Renmei: Awww Rats! ... Again


The "out of print" set of Haibane Renmei discs I bought awhile back got more exspensive. Some time back, I bought the series for an amount that though I thought exorbitant, I felt I wouldn't get the opportunity for a loooong time. I expected it to be in the decorative box but instead came in separate cases. One Pioneer & three Pioneer/Geneon.

I thought it to be a rip-off, but on further reading, I found that I was rather fortunate to get what I got when I got it. Little did I know Funimation (They got the rights after Geneon bit the big one.) would release it a couple months later. Needless to say, I "double dipped" & got the Funi release.

I was going to drop the older discs to a certain Alabanian shirt monger at Armageddicon last December, but encountered car trouble & couldn't attend.

A week into January I got a new co-worker. After about a couple weeks & some discussion, I decided to lend the first disc to her. Taking the booklet & other materials out (A precaution I do on lending so as not to lose any "ancilliaries".) I lent it out. The next day, I found she wasn't going to come into work anymore. Seems she failed the background check. And as she lived about forty miles away ... sigh.

So I "triple dipped" & got a replacement disc. Interestingly enough, another straight Pioneer copy complete with ancilliaries (Booklet, pencil board, etc.). I now have an "ultra rare" (Yeah, right!) ancilliary laden Funi edition along with four original Pioneer & Pioneer/Geneon discs. Now if a certain Alabanian would e-mail an address I could send the "loose" ones to I'd have some extra room on my shelf.


Haibane Renmei: Awww Rats! here.

Haibane Renmei: One Side of the Equation here.

Haibane Renmei: The Beginning of the World here.

A certain Alabanians' tee shirt mongering (Aardvark Tees!) here.

Aardvarks' Plumbline blog here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Otakudom of Haruhi Suzumiya: An Evangelion Crossover Fan Fiction



The Otakudom of Haruhi Suzumiya

An Evangelion Crossover Fan Fiction

by

C V Ford


With the fate of the world hanging on the mental stability of Haruhi Suzumiya, it's logical to assume I would be up nights worrying myself to sleep. And at the beginning, that's the way it was.

All sorts of wild scenarios would stampede through my head. Everything from a cataclysmic Big Re-Bang to alternate worlds where Haruhi & the rest of us were no more than characters in a bad anime (Though doubtful that would happen!).

I guess one can get used to anything even THE END, & after several months of her reality altering antics, I've found I can actually drop off to sleep a little less stressfully than before. Until now ...

It was yesterday, Monday, the start of another school week which of course, I was eager to get into & tackle doing my very best (NOT!). In home room, Haruhi sat behind me uncharacteristically quiet, soft sighs to be heard.

Turning, I asked what might be troubling her.

"Oh ... Nothing ..."

"As in ..."

"That's just it ... No thing at all."

"I don't follow."

She looked straight at me, slight exasperation showing.

"I'm trying to think of something the SOS Brigade might do this weekend & I can't come up with anything."

Just fresh off from yesterday & already plot- ... er planning for something a few days hence. Or trying to. I was hoping for a quiet weekend at home with baseball on the screen.

"Why not take it easy?" I suggested.

Her frown got a little bigger.

"Kick back at home, relax ... Read a book, watch some TV or something. Besides, my parents'll be gone for the weekend & I need to stay at home & watch my sister."

"Kyon! ... It is not in the noble purpose of our beloved Brigade to stand still doing nothing," she proclaiming as if also to the world. "If you're not going forward, you're going backward ... Honestly, sometimes I think you ... But then ... Hmmmmm ..."

Seeing that determined grin forming did not bode well.

"What are you-"

"Just never you mind! ... For now."

"Har-"

"Your exalted leader is coming up with a plan. As usual ... it's a good one. Bother me later!"

With that she pulled a notepad out of her satchel & proceeded to scrawl away. Turning back & sighing, I hoped it was something only semi-ominous & any fears I had unfounded. Futile ...

End of schoolday, last period history class over, I wended my way to the clubroom. With some relief I noted only Haruhi to be absent. Yuki soaking up a mandatory book & the other two making small talk over some of Miss Asahinas' tea.

Itsuke addressed me as I sat across from him at the main table.

"Any Idea what Miss Suzumiya might be cooking up? She was here 25 minutes ago going on about this weekend & left to get something."

"In spite of my unfortunate proximity to Miss Suzumiya, she doesn't tell me much of anything. Surely you should know that by now."

"And yet, when you're around her, she seems quite at ease. You'd think she'd confide in you more."

"The day she'd-"




"All right!"

Haruhi burst through the door cutting off our brief conversation. I had the queasy/sinking feeling our (HER!) plans for the days away weekend were at completion.

"O-Kay everybody! Listen up!" She sauntered over behind the computer desk, setting a couple of DVD cases on its surface. "Especially you ... Kyon!"

Uh Oh.

Nagato, blinking once, set down her book. The rest in not so rapt attention. Except Itsuke.

"Plans for this weekend, Saturday at least, are finalized. And we have four days to prepare."

And those plans would be ...

"Saturday. Starting noon to whenever ..."

Whenever? What's she got in mind that would last to whenever? Forever?

"The SOS Brigade's gonna marathon an anime!"

"Well Haruhi," I drew out my ace in the hole, "as you know, parents'll be out of town & I have to babysit my sister so I won't be able to attend & ..."

"And it'll be at Kyons'!"

So much for my ace ... of spades!

"Everything's figured to the last detail. As Kyons' parents don't drink it's BYOB though!

WHAT!?!

"Just kidding! Geez Kyon! Show some enthusiasm for once!

"Anyway, I've already figured expenses to keep us & our guests in Pocky 'n Pizza for over 14 hours ... plus ..."

FOURTEEN HOURS!? ... Plus? How long is this anime & ... Guests!?

"It's good PR & we need to expand the club membership. So let's see ..."

"I really can't think of anyone myself."

With you Itsuke, that's understandable.

"Well ... there is Tsuruya-chan ..."

Though she's practically a member anyway. Still ... Excellent choice Miss Asahina! Those two ... Things starting to look up!

"What about those two friends of yours Kyon?" Asked Haruhi. "You know ... The two guys who were on the ball team & helped us out with the movie?"

Kunikida? ... Taniguchi!? ... Wait a min-

"We never really did thank them for their help in the movie."

Itsuke! They're not interested in joining anyway. You're the one who scares them away!

"OK. I guess the computer club members are also in," included Haruhi. "They're almost probationary members after all."

More like indentured servants.

"They can share expenses too."

I stand corrected. I'd forgotten. Like us ... They're in abject slavery!

Miss Asahina handed out several slips Haruhi'd given her .

"Here's a break down of expenses for each of us. This is without the computer club members being figured in. The amount's less if any will come."

Ah yes ... The wonders & beauties of extortion.

I was pleasantly surprised to see the costs evenly divided among us ... until I noticed my paying the odd sen more. No big deal but ... as the "party" was to be at my place ... Yup. Still paying ... A LOT!

"So it's to be an anime then," Koizume stated in that irritatingly pleasant manner I loathe so well. "What's the title?"

"Just came back from the school library with it," she said as she reached for the cases on the desk. "An older one I've never seen before. Heard about it, talked to people, read up on it but never got around to seeing it. Fans say it's a definite must see ... Even got the follow up movie with it too!"

My prepared semi-witty rejoinder of "It could be worse, it could be Pokemon", died a quick death in my throat as she held up the two disk cases.

She set the cases down as she got up from behind the flat screen. Walking past an also jaw gaping, aghast Itsuke, she whipped out her cel & stepped into the hall.

"I need to make a few calls on the refreshments & other things. Be right back."

Noting the looks on our faces, Mikuru glanced worredly, alternating between Itsuke & I. Nagato, on her part, moved to the comp desk, exchanging her book for the disk cases, one in each hand.

"Uh ... guys?"

"This ... could ... be ... a ... problem ..."

Itsuke you idiot! Problem doesn't even begin to state the situation! Talk about understatment. Not even Armageddon, Ragnarok, End of the World ... it ...

"Uh ... guys?"

The sound of plastic hitting a desk surface hit our ears with a deathly hollow clatter. Our three faces turned in Nagatos' direction. She ... Staring straight ahead, eyes slightly wider than usual, figuratively boring holes in the wall.

"Uh ... guys?

"She ... must not-"

"Wait! Nagato? Did you view it just now?"

"Yes ... I did. She ..."

That must have been how she learned the computer clubs' Day of Sagittarius game.

"A viewing of the twenty six episode television series, even with the final off-putting two would have little effect on Miss Suzumiya. This however ..."

She retrieved the dropped follow on film, staring at it again.

"Kind of like The King In Yellow."

That Itsuke could be confusing at times.

"A fictitious three act play central to a series of short stories by the American, Robert W. Chambers," He said turning to me. "The first two acts are rather mundane & innocuous. The third is said to drive the reader to insanity ... even suicide."

Nice allegory, but how does THAT help?

"Uh ... guys?"

"On seeing this film, she might inadvertantly implement-"

"There is a 97.34% chance she would have me do the implementation."

We turned again to Nagato. Yes ... That made some sense.

"Implement? ... Uh ... guys?"

"Yes Miss Asahina?" Itsuke finally aknowledged.

"It's just a TV show & a movie ... right? I mean ... we've watched stuff like this with Miss Suzumiya before haven't we? None of it didn't do anything to her then & ... uh ... It's an anime ... Something like ... Sailor Moon?"

My dear, sweet, innocent, NAIVE Miss Asahina. Maybe they don't have anime where you're from in the future. Right now, that sounds like a good thing.

Itsuke & I glanced toward the clubroom door. We could hear Haruhi busily yakking away on her cel from WAY down the hall. The one-sided conversation didn't sound like it would end anytime soon. And she DID say she had several calls to make ...

"Seems we have a little time before she gets back," Itsuke stating the obvious. "I think we should use it to get Miss Asahina up to speed."

"What ... I ..."

"Miss Asahina ... Mikuru-chan," I said in as calm a voice I could muster. "Please take a seat & prepare yourself. Hopefully we have enough time to fill you in on ... Evangelion."





Storyline (only) copyright © 3-19-2013 C V Ford


The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya parts 1, 2, & 3.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: OOOOO! Goodies In the Mail! here.

End of Evangelion: This Is (Really) Disturbing here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.


Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the copyrighted names/characters, places, events & illustrations mentioned/shown in this work. They are the sole properties of their respective owners. Please, by all means support the original owners of such properties in the purchase & enjoyment of their products.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Of Fan Fiction & Canonicity: Evangelion & Otherwise



Of Fan Fiction & Canonicity: Evangelion & Otherwise


Recently I've been posting some of my already "published" (On this blog.) anime fan fiction on the Fan Fiction dot net web site under the nom de plumage of C V Ford. One of the stories was Small Blue Ecstasy: A Tale of Third Impact.

I knew I would get reviews to my stories, some of them possibly "negative". That's the chance you take when you get on a "public forum" of some kind & I even welcome it. So it's not that my nose was bent out of  shape when I recieved these reviews as it is that I need some "filler" for this blog that I write this.

On the above mentioned story I got these:

A. Authors skill aside, this definitely doesn't belong in the Eva section. Blue furred red eyed cats are NOT Evangelion, regardless of how similar they might look to one of the characters.

 
B. ...Props to the author on their technical skills; the story is well written. The story is also slightly depressing...and the explosions/mind games/awesome Eva action I associate with "Third Impact" are surprisingly...absent. All the same, props to the author, though I can't help but feel like this doesn't belong in Eva fan fiction...just my opinion.

These got me to thinking about "canonicity" in anime fan fiction in general & in the Evangelion Franchise in particular.

1. As FAN fiction is not "official", one could doubt the "canonicity" of any of it. Especially with all the pairing, "shipping", what-ifs, unofficial characters, alternate timelines, crossovers, etc. Those Shinji/Kaworu fantasies, eh ... Yaoi fan girls ... Good grief!

2. I don't think an Eva story necessarily has to be about angst, plugsuits, giant robot fights (Yeah, I know ... They're NOT giant robots ... They're giant mommies ... With Rei/Lillith being the biggest MOTHER of them all!) or a redheaded nazi chick beating up on some poor schnook.

My story is about a suffering little girl finding some brief happiness in an apocalyptic situation. That situ being Third Impact/Instrumentality.

3. Owning/seeing the series & End of Evangelion, I understand Rei/Lillith to be able to take the form of ones' deepest desire/dread in order to facillitate assimilation. In the case of the drunken jerk, it was that of a deceased spouse/lover. For the little girl it was that of something very precious & lost to her, the missing kitten.

 The description of the feline (Blue fur, red eyes.) makes clear that this is Rei/Lillith manifesting her/itself to the girl, setting her up for Instrumentality. I did not feel there was a need to describe the kid going SPLAT! when she gloms onto the kitten. That was to be assumed from the outset.

I guess "canonicity" to be rather subjective to many. As we're not talking theology here (Though this IS Evangelion!), I'm not going to get too worked up about it.

Just sayin' ...


Small Blue Ecstasy: A Tale of Third Impact here.

C V Fords' anime fan fiction page here.

Fan Fiction dot net website here.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: OOOOO! Goodies In the Mail here.

End of Evangelion: This Is (Really) Disturbing here.

Third Impact (Where everyone goes SPLAT!) scene on You Tube in Japanese with English subtitles here.

Same in English here. Reduced video quality.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Christian Anime: Any Out There?

Christian Anime: Any Out There?

There seems to be very little Christian Anime out there. Aside from The Flying House/Superbook it's next to nonexistant. What MIGHT come close is still way off the mark & most of it you wouldn't dare think of showing to a church group.


Apocalypse what the ... ! Asuka & Shinji contemplate the huge remains
of Rei/Lillith & Armageddons' aftermath in End Of Evangelion.

The Evangelion franchise: This is about as close to the book of Revelation as an anime gets. The fanservice (Even without the Gainax bounce!) is over the edge. The Kaballa is thrown in for good measure as well as turned on its' head. The violence & psychosexual weirdness are over the top in End of Evangelion. And nowhere in that dark "vision" is Christ to be found.


The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: As much as I find the thought of the second coming personified in a whacked out guitar playing girl wearing a Playboy bunny outfit intrigueing ... well. Yes, she is God ... Yes, she is the center the universe orbits about ... Yes, she ... But ...As the theological ramifications could be beyond devastating ... One might want to leave this to older & wiser theologians.


Has trouble enough getting herself together let alone the world.
At times makes Cthulhu look cuddly.

Serial Experiments Lain: A head trip if there ever was one. All you really know is that the physical extension of an all powerful entity dwelling on the net (And all other forms of communication.) is trying to reconnect with itself. She's more than human while her other non/extra-human half has problems relating to the "real" world. So how do they get back together in a unified whole & set the world straight?

Along the way we run into conspiracies, urban legends, various belief systems & other wheels within wheels. Best NOT to figure it out & just enjoy the ride instead. Something for the Ecumenicals.


Fresh from the Third Crusade, Dante' cntemplates
wether he's in a genuine anime or a "faux ami"

Dantes' Inferno: I watched this at the suggestion of my brother, a great believer in Netflix. Seems it was sent to him by mistake but he & his family took it in anyway. Running across it at Half Price Books, I snapped it up.

Now I've not yet read Alighieris' book. But I have the feeling it doesn't read like a Dungeons & Dragons adventure as this flick does. I swear, it's as if the script writers wrote as if they were slinging many sided dice! "Pierce the heavens with your mighty scythe!" No ... wait! That's supposed to be a drill & from another definitely non-Christian anime at that (Though the Yoko Littner character in that one can be a "religious" experience in & of herself!).

I also think the book doesn't have Beatrice running about butt nekkid all the time either.


Take it from me ... You DON'T want to make a deal with this kid.

Hell Girl: At least one side gets mentioned & the consequences of messing with it.

At mid-nite, the Hells' Correspondence web site appears. Enter the name of the one you hate & the title character takes him/her to you know where (Cleveland!). For a price ... YOU! ... When it's your time to check out (Paper or spastic?).

The first season was pretty good, though the first four eps followed the same plot. Second, not so good. The third, well ... they pretty much jumped the shark by the end of the second ...


A quick shot of how Yuri Nakamura views God. From the attempt to trick
Kanadae into leading them to Him in the Angel Beats OVA/Episode 4.5.

Angel Beats: Catholics might like this one. Purgatory is a humungous high school boarding academy where young folks who had less than satisfactory lives come for a breather & unload spiritual/mental baggage ... Which would be great if it wasn't for this faction of ungrateful dead lashing out at God in their one sided war against a percieved angel. Kind of hard to attend class with all that shooting/racket going on.

One can only wonder ... If getting "killed" there results in your coming back, then what's the point in fighting? Towards the end they find it's not God they're fighting but their own inner demons thus keeping them from passing on.


The literally self doubting Motoko Kusanagi in Ghost In the Shell.

Ghost In the Shell (movie): Title character more machine than woman & self-doubting wether there is still a soul in that construct she inhabits, hence the title. I like the biblical reference about midway & at the end tying things up (1 Corinthians 13:11 & 12.).


The haibane of Old Home greet the new arrival.
L-R: Hikari, Kana, Kuu, Nemu, Reki, & Rakka.

Haibane Renmei: This is as close to Christian anime as one gets & I dearly love it. It's also the only one on this list I would feel comfortable showing in church (Unless someone in the congregation gets bent out of shape over that VERY brief bit of artistic nudity in the opening credits.).

Set in a semi-rustic, central European-like "purgatory" of simpler living, where souls sort out their reason for being there. Explores the consequences & bondage of the state of sin we are all under.

Think of Angel Beats without guns & the conflict being even more inner instead of external. As in Angel Beats, God is actually mentioned (Last episode.) though only in passing.

I can't really think of anything else. Maybe the folks at Beneath the Tangles can come up with something. Maybe they could even find something edifying in High School of the Dead ... Hmmmm ... probably not.


Neon Genesis Evangelion: OOOOO! Goodies In the Mail! here.

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya parts 1, 2, & 3.

Wikipedia article on Serial Experiments Lain here.

Wikipedia aritcle on Dantes' Inferno here.

Wikipedia article on Hell Girl here.

Angel Beats: Not a Haruhi Clone here.

Wikipedia article on Ghost In the Shell here.

Haibane Renmei: One Side of the Equation here.

Beneath the Tangles Christian anime blog here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Obama Gun Control Poster

Poster says, "Comrades! Turn In Your Weapons."

Obama Gun Control Poster


Oops! Sorry! Guess it's not one from our earstwhile prez. .... Yet.


And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family?

Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand?

After all, you knew ahead of time that those bluecaps were out at night for no good purpose. And you could be sure ahead of time that you’d be cracking the skull of a cutthroat. Or what about the Black Maria [Government limo] sitting out there on the street with one lonely chauffeur — what if it had been driven off or its tires spiked.

The Organs would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin’s thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt!

Alexander Solzhenitsyn, The GULAG Archipelago


National Rifle Association homepage here.

Gun Owners of America homepage here.

Wikipedia article on Alexander Solzhenitsyn here.

Be sure to check out the "I Second the Motion" section on the right side of this page for more pro-gun links.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.