Thursday, June 16, 2011

Let's Party! Arnold Schwarzeneggers' Commando

Lobby card featuring a young as springtime Alyssa Milano & "der Arnold".
Credit: 20th Century Fox
                             Let's Party! Arnold Schwarzeneggers' Commando


                                                                    Jay Agan
      Commando is only one of two Schwarzenegger flicks I have (Conan the Barbarian being the other.) & it's really God-awful! But I like it!

      A really nasty bunch of bad guys force Col. John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in doing an assassination for them by kidnapping his daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano). (As it turns out later, in spite of all their resources & more than considerable manpower, they couldn't hit the broadside of a barn even if they were all standing in it at once. Hence, they had to get someone else to pull off the hit.)

      Knowing they'll kill her anyway, he kills his "escort" & leaves an airliner ..... in flight & without a parachute! He then sets out to find Jenny before it's too late. Along the way he picks up stewardess Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong {Tommys' kid}), kills several henchmen, trashes a shopping mall, robs Surplus City for "toys", finds where they're hiding the kid & mows down an army of stuntmen & extras in a "bullet ballet" that falls far short of the one in The Wild Bunch, culminating in a fight with wierd "uncle" Bennet (Vernon Wells). All the while, der Arnold takes EVERY opportunity to show off his considerable physique.

      This flick is punctuated by Arnolds' under the top, non-acting (He never really had to act. He's very good at taking up space though.) offset by Chongs' animatedness. The inane, yet crazy dialogue coupled with the whacky violence makes the film more a comedy than a serious actioner. I remember audiences in rapt attention wondering what those two would do/say next, with lots of yucks & chuckles all around.

      All in all, a great little time waster. A popcorn flick I watch once a year.

                                Article copyright © 6-16-2011 Jay Agan

Addendum: I'm sure you've all hear by now about the "Governator" & his affair/coverup. I do not excuse (As if he needed that from me.) or condone it. If I had to dump every movie I had because there was a "connection" with something reprehensible, I wouldn't have any movies at all.

Commando trailer here.

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  1. Far superior flick to "Eraser".

    I assume you have cronies who go "AHEM" if you have a movie with an actor who does not wear the blood-dip't robe of righteousness or at least acts like it. I know I do.

    Here is my take on what passes for "family" or "Christian" entertainment:

  2. No, I have nothing better to do than clutter your comments. Do you like Kaiju flicks (Godzilla and the like)? G-fest is coming up in July (a con devoted to rubber-suited giant monster movies). One might say it is hugely fun!