Thursday, September 29, 2016

The "Princess" and the Pee: An Angel Beats Anime Fan Fiction Story

Yui makes use of the "facilities" one time too many ... A riff off a scene from Episode 6: Family Affair.

The "Princess" and the Pee: An Angel Beats Anime Fan Fiction Story


C V Ford



"Sighhhh! ... Oh, man!"

Leaning back in his desk chair, the young blue haired man gazed exasperatingly up at the light ballasts and ceiling fixtures. Class not even fifteen minutes in and it was ... what ... the fifth? ... sixth? ... time she LOUDLY(!) announced to teacher, class ... the whole freakin' world ... her intentions to use the facilities ...

And in such a crass, vulgar manner!

"You again? ... Very well," the teacher also seemingly resigned to it, "... go ahead."

"Man! If only the teachers were this easy when we were alive," thought Hinata.
"Things sure would have been a lot less complicated."

A light whack on the shoulder had the young man shift his vision rightward to that of a diminutive, pink tressed "goth goblin" leering a toothy grin downward as she passed.

"Really hafta' go this time," conspiratorial look in her eyes. "Gonna' use the teachers' unisex single down the hall."

Hideki watched her saunter out.

On Yuris' orders, members of the Battlefront were to attend classes. Partly to avoid another mass contemplation room confinement but also to create disturbances in order to see how far Ayoto Naoi, the Acting Student Council President and his "zombies" could be pushed before retaliation. The infractions would also keep them from getting too "into" their classes and possible "obliteration" ... which was probably what the little dictator wanted.

The methods varied:

Hisako, TK, Fujimaki and Matsushita were busy "infracting" in a hot Mahjong session at the center of first row.

Two rows over, a VERY self conscious Oyama nervously contemplating a try at sneaking something to crunch on from a party size bag of chips.

Takamatsu in hard calisthenics an aisle over.

Noda, the formidable moron, lay across two desks in an attempt at snooze, impairing the ability of two other students in their work thus in violation of Yuris' instructions not to impede others.

An obvious though quiet distraction being "staged" by Shiina in the back corner of the window row, balancing scissors, ruler and a broom on the fingertips of one hand in vigorous focus training.

As for the hyperactive dingbat Yui, her non-method seemed to be continually requesting bathroom breaks, leaving for a short interval then return ... to repeat the "process" over and over ad nauseum.

Hinatas' own "nauseum" was really getting to him.

A sideways glance to his buddy seated in the desk behind, he asked, "Just what does that little ... dipwad ... think she's doing? You'd think she'd try something else ... And why the teachers restroom this time around?"

"Act of defiance maybe?" Otonashi in answer

"And she didn't have to tell me she actually HAD to go this time."

"She likes you."

"Say WHAT!?" The blue hair turned full around toward the carrot top.

"Oh, come on," Otonashi urged. "She's always had a thing for you. She-"

"She brings me nothing but grief! Ever since the ball game she's been a total pain in the a-"

"You just don't know a good thing when you see it," explained Yuzuru, "I mean ... She's pretty cute, y'know?"

"Otonashi ... You are one SICK dude!"


"Hmmm ... I've seen that Naoi guy use the teachers loo before," Yui in thought traveling down the hallway past the student restrooms. "Probly' thinks he's privileged 'r somthin' just 'cause he's the new Council head."

In fact she'd seen the creepy one and an NPC enter it two "trips" ago.

"They gotta' be outta' there by now. If he can ... I can! Class warfare it is!"

Cautiously, Yui softly knocked below the plainly marked "Faculty/Staff Only" sign. No response, she quietly opened the now unlocked door. Peering in revealed the space devoid of anyone.

"Huh? ... What's this?" On entry, puzzlement on espying the object recessed in the wall.

"Oh yeah!" Realization lighting a weak filament 40 watt inside her pink and twin tail strapped cranium.

"Guys ... Standing up ... right!"

Fascinated, the girl fixated on the wall urinal while backing up to the throne.

Reaching under the pleated blue uniform skirt she slid her unmentionables down and proceeded to sit.



"... so you see Otonashi," explained the blue hair, "there's NO WAY I could ever feel any attraction to that little whack-job, why she's-"


The more than audible scream could be clearly heard by one and all on the building floor.

"It's Yui!" A more than concerned looking Hinata exclaimed, launching out of the desk chair and toward the door to the hall. "That damn Naoi, if he's-"

"Yup!" Hinata thought watching his friend rush past to the demented ones' rescue. "No attraction at all ... RIGHT!"

Also launching up, Otonashi shouted a hasty "excuse us" to the "teacherbot" as he ran to assist.

Hideki was already halfway down the hall when the red head got out the door.

"Yeah it's obvious," he wryly sarcasted to himself. "No feelings for the little whack-job ... PERIOD!

"Speaking of which ..."

The aforementioned little whack-job fast-walked out a well ajar unisex door and past a now confused and adrenaline hyped Hinata.

"Wh- ... What's wrong? You OK? You're not hurt or anything, are you?" Almost pleading. "If that Naoi did anything to you, I'll- !"


"Don't tell me that, what's-"


The royally aggravated one stalked on back to the classroom, fists clenched, shoulders hunched, face in hellish grimace and in no uncertain terms not wanting to discuss an-y-thing.

Passing a puzzled ginger who noted the back third of her skirt was sopping wet, she pivoted into the classroom.  Returning to her seat at the front window desk, arms crossed, she sat herself down ... hard. The act of which with an extremely audible squish.

"Hmmmph! Hnnnngh!"

Turning his gaze back down the hall, Yuzuru saw a fast approaching and laughing(?) Hinata returning from having had a look inside the small restroom.

Holding his sides and trying not to be too loud in his gasping and wheezing (And utterly failing!), Hinata staggered past and in. Otonashi following.

"A-heep! ... Durrrp! ... Gak! ... Oh God!"

"What ha-"

" ... eeeeeh! .... Seat!"


" ... Seat! ... " Hinata coughing/gagging and weakly collapsing into his desk chair. "Someone left the freakin' seat UP! ... Aww ... BWA! HA! HA! HA! HAA! HAAAAAAAA!"

"SHUT UP YOU!" From the front window corner of the room.

"So Yui," a smiling Hisako looking up from her game tiles, "you fall in or something?"

Matsushita hung onto the game desk, heaving silently in laughter, rattling the tiles.

"Good thing you didn't grab the handle in getting yourself out," Fujimaki in accompaniment. "Then you'd be dizzy as well as wet!"

"Swir-leee!!" TK

Oyama looked on in amused bewilderment.

The reclining Noda, on his part, grinning with one eye open surveying the unfortunate one.

Takamatsu, in the middle of a "cruncher", froze in wonderment.

Shiina, having set her balancing objects aside, turned her back on the scene, concealing her own mirthful response. Being from another era, she recalled her own early encounters with Sir John Haringtons' invention (1) after arriving at this school in the In-Between.

"Aw c'mon, guys," Otonashi returning to his desk, "she's been through enough, she-"

"CAN IT! ... ALLA' YAS!" Again from the front window corner.

"Please keep it down a little." The 'robo-teach' commanded. "We are having class here."

Recalling Yuris' instructions, the extremely amused Battlefronters suppressed their din though subdued giggles and laughter from various parts of the room still evident.

The class session continued and for the next ten minutes, with front members engaging in their diverse infractions, a relative peace prevailed until from the front window corner-


From the back, a lamenting Shiina.

"This is soooo ... "



Storyline (only) copyright  © 9-29-16 C V Ford

1. Sir John Harington (1560 - 1612) Inventor of the flush toilet.

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Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of any of the COPYRIGHTED names/characters, places, and events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of their respective owners. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase and enjoyment of the original works.


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