More Than He Can Chew: A Silence of the Lambs/Rambo Crossover Fan Fiction Story

More Than He Can Chew: A Silence of the Lambs/Rambo Crossover Fan Fiction Story

by

C V Ford

xxxxx


"Hello. I'm Hannibal Lecter ... And I'm going to eat you."

"I'm John Rambo and I don't think so."

BANG!

END

Storyline (only) copyright © 2-12-16 C V Ford

xxxxx

Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the names/characters, places and events mentioned in this work that are the intellectual properties of others. They are the sole properties of their respective owners. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase and enjoyment of their works.

Late Shift: A Semi-Creepypasta

Late Shift: A Semi-Creepypasta

by

Jay Agan


I work the late shift ... night.

We carry radios at work. Communication with co-workers and all.

There's a policy against idle chit chat so only business about maintenance and cleaning is allowed. As such, it's relatively quiet over the air even on a busy day. At night ... well ...

It's absolutely dead. Even with a partner somewhere else in the building, you can go whole nights with nary a single word spoken over the air. It's not so bad ... most of the time.

Two nights out of the week it's just me and no one else. Staggered days to cover the weekend.

Every so often, you hear the radio on your belt let out a hiss and ...

I can't help but wonder. It's late. Sun is long gone and the shadows are way long. Lights off and gloom all around.

You're busy sweeping/mopping, the radio gives a hiss ... and nothing more is heard.

As if someone just keyed the mic ... Why?

Someone going to make a call out and change his mind? Accidentally brush the xmit button against something? Dropped the darn thing? Or ...

Accident? Trouble ... of some kind? Help needed?

Some ... ONE ... out there ...

Some one out there ... what ...

In another building? Just outside the one I'm in? Maybe ... already inside ... in the next room or ... a few feet away.

Watching ...

Waiting ...

I gotta' stop watching those darn movies.

END

Story copyright © 8-18-2014 Jay Agan


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here. Ifn' there's a buncha' articles under this 'un, yer already there.

Why Highschool of the Dead Is Better Than The Walking Dead

I find this character much more intriguing than
that sullen creature on The Walking Dead.

Why Highschool of the Dead Is Better Than The Walking Dead


Off the Top of My Head ...

First, let's get this straight. NEITHER show is treading new ground. IT'S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE. The recently dead rise, walk the earth and eat the living. DONE TO DEATH AND BEYOND. I really don't understand the popularity of such shows except that perhaps "zombies" are comparitively cheap to portray than other monsters and thus dough is saved in making this krap.

I only have THREE, yes, three such movies/shows in my collection. The original Night of the Living Dead from '68, Return of the Living Dead (Funny AND disturbing and I'm not talking Linnea Quigley!), and High School of the Dead. An ... Uh oh! ... ANIME!

I don't need any more. The rest is garbage ... Including The Walking Dead.

High School of the Dead, yes again, an anime, is the latest I have. You Tubed it before and picked it up on impulse as a used copy at Half Price Books. Certainly wasn't going to pay full price for it. It was the combo of the genres that got to me.

The fan service? Admittedly, that had a part. It's so exagerated and over the top that I'm still deciding wether to take THAT seriously or not. Is it meant to titillate or satorise? Probably both.

As for it being better than The Walking Dead, here goes ...

1. Brevity - HOTD is 12 half hour episodes. That's it. TWD is an hour each, into it's 5th season and never seems to end. Shoot! Tell your dang story and move on!

2. Character development - In HOTD you have just enough of it without getting into a Marvel Comics treatment/analysis. Also the "main" characters stick around and aren't killed off just after you've gotten attatched to them as in TWD.

3. Lack of "message" or agenda - HOTD being a product of a monoracial/monocultural society, reflects that. Unlike TWD, it doesn't have a "polite", PC/diversity driven, pro-feminist undertone in an effort to appeal to the masses of asses.

The problem with most mass media sci-fi/horror made here is that it's nothing more than stories about todays social issues "set in outer space" or whatever fantastical backdrop the show is trying to depict.

4. HOTD doesn't take itself seriously. - Or rather its fans don't. I've run into TWD "believers" who think "theirs" is GOSPEL.

Seriously. Folks who scoffed loud and long at me when I was into the survivalist movement back in the '80s are now giving me "tips" on staying alive ... Tips they got from TWD!

I comment that anyone going around eliminating opponents, undead or otherwise, with a sword or a Black 'n Decker, get what they deserve. If you're close enough to touch someone, they're close enought to touch YOU. If they're within arms length, you have failed to defend yourself. Shoot 'em!

"OH NO!" They chide. "The object is to survive. You must save your ammo."

The time to "save" your ammo is when you're out shopping at the hardware store, NOT when you're fighting for your life. THAT'S the time to "waste" ammo (It's not waste when you make every shot count however.).

"OOOOO! But you can't shoot them! The sound will attract more!"

Now were sorta' kinda' getting in to the realm of "Who would win in a fight? Superman or Mighty Mouse?" Superman of course. He's a real person!

Sigh ... Both HOTD and TWD are FANTASIES. Neither one should be taken seriously. Neither one should be considered a guide to tactical combat or crisis management. As much as we like our shows ... zombies are impossible.

That and anyone taking their tactical ques from movies/shows and utilizing them in an actual street situation are asking for a world of hurt.

5. Honesty - HOTD is a cartoon that doesn't present itself as anything else. TWD is a pretentious load a' bull trying to pass itself off as some kind of existential tour de force.

Being honest with myself, I'll go with the former.

Jus' sayin ...


The Zombie Apocalypse That Never Was here.

Not so HOTD here.

"Trailer" to a nonexistant HOTD season 2 here. Actually a compilation of shots from the show.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here. Any articles under this 'un, yer there already.

Some Walking Dead Humor

From my admittedly limited viewing, this is what I get out of it.

Some Walking Dead Humor


Having nothing better to do and presently suffering from creative bankruptcy, I decided to look up and share some stuff I found on a show I pretty much dislike. Reasons for which I will give later this week. For now ... Enjoy ...

This pre-dated Night of the Living Dead by a couple years.

Hmmm ... If it was like this I might watch it. Then again ... maybe not.

I like late '30s/early '40s period pieces with late '40s/early '50s cars. I also have
fun spotting vapor trails in westerns too. Then there's the one where one of the
three kings is seen wearing a wrist watch!

I always liked Christopher Walken. Even as Max Schreck.

I also like those films where the "last man on earth" keeps running into people.

That's it for the moment. Stay tuned Friday when I actually vent a little on the show itself.

Sees ya' ...


An "Honest Trailer" advertisement on You Tube for The Walking Dead here. Check these out! Better than Siskel and Ebert ever could have been. You'll laugh your keester off!

A Screen Junkies idiots' guide on You Tube to The Walking Dead, seasons' 1-3 here. More info than I cared but certainly saved a lot of time for me!

The Zombie Apocalypse That Never Was by C V Ford (Me!) here.

Fanfiction dot net link to C V Fords' (Me! Darn it!) profile page and stories list here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here. If there's a buncha' articles under this one then you're already there.

The Cliche: Another Very Short But Commonsense Horror Story

Fords' most famous Hack! Snort! Barf!

The Cliche

Another Very Short But Commonsense Horror Story

by

Jay Agan


"Hack! Snort! Barf!" The monster Hack! Snort! Barf!ed as it advanced on the young couple.

The two beat feet to the car.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" The monster Hack! Snort! Barf!ed as it kept up its' advance.

The guy and the gal jumped in the car.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" The monster Hack! Snort! Barf!ed still advancing.

The guy hesitated, key in hand over the ignition slot.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" Still Hack! Snort! Barf!ing, the monster lurched closer.

"What's wrong!?" The hysterical babe what's wronged.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" The shambling Hack! Snort! Barf!ing critter shambled up to the rear of the car.

"What if it doesn't start!?" Screamed the not as hysterical but more feeble minded boyfriend.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" El Kreepo Hack! Snort! Barf!ed as he/she/what/it got alongside the non-descript but obvious looking '1950s automotive contrivance.

"Just start the frickin' car!" Said the young lady in a most calm, composed manner ... NOT!

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" Hack! Snort! Barf!ed Joe Cthulhu as it reached for the door handle.

Turning the ignition, the boxy, potmetal chromed, state of the art, piece of mid twentieth century cutting edge technology Hack! Snort! Barf!ed to life.

"Hack! Snort! Barf!" Litch guy, holding a twisted door handle, Hack! Snort! Barf!ed as it watched the car Hack! Snort! Barf! away down the road, Hack! Snort! Barf!ing all the way.

THE END


Story copyright © 8-13-2013 Jay Agan


More commonsense horror stories:

Silence of the Spams here.

Condo Dracula here.

The Haunting of Heck House here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Silence of the Spams: A Very Short Commonsense Psycho Thriller

"Have the spams stopped screaming Clarice?"

Silence of the Spams: A Very Short Commonsense Psycho Thriller

by

Jay Agan


"Hello ... My name is Hannibal Lester," the brilliant clinical psychiatrist, world reknowned scholar, published author, with an IQ that would dwarf any ten, nay, eleven of us said as he introduced himself. "I'm a brilliant clinical psychiatrist, world reknowned scholar, published author, and I have an IQ that would dwarf any ten, nay, twelve of you ... And I am going to eat you."

"Uh ... No you're not."

"And why is that?" The smug, now homicidal, brilliant clinical psychiatrist, world reknowned scholar, published author having an IQ that would dwarf any ten, nay, thirteen of us smiled in a smug brilliant clinical psychiatrist, world reknowned scholar, published author having an IQ that would dwarf any ten, nay, forteen of us sort of way.

Bang!

"Oh!" Said the now not so smug brilliant clinical psychiatrist, world reknowned scholar, published author having an IQ that would dwarf any ten, nay, fifteen of us.

The now dead brilliant clinical psychiatrist, world reknowned scholar, published author having an IQ that would dwarf any ten, nay, sixteen of us dropped to the floor in a brilliant clinical psychiatrist, world reknowned scholar, published author having an IQ that would dwarf any ten, nay, seventeen of us sort of way.

CASE CLOSED

Story copyright © 7-23-13 Jay Agan


Condo Dracula: Another Very Short But Commonsense Horror Story here.

The Haunting of Heck House: A Very Short But Commonsense Horror Story here.

Go to Jays Tee Vee blog main page here.

Condo Dracula: Another Very Short But Commonsense Horror Story

Castle Condo.

Condo Dracula: Another Very Short But Commonsense Horror Story

by

Jay Agan


Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

The three usually obnoxious, LOUD, boorish, twenty somethings cast as teenagers, trudged their way along the rocky Transylvanian trail.

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

One looked up at the darkening sky.

"Oh wow! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' jeekers, guys," said #1 looking at the darkening sky. "The sky is darkening!"

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"Yeah," answered #2. "Sun's goin' down an' looks like rain."

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"Sure don't wanna' get wet," added #3. "Mebbe' we oughta' find shelter."

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"Howzabout that foreboding castle yonder?" Suggested #1.

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"The one with all the bats flying in & out of it?" Asked #2.

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"The same," stated #1.

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"Uh ... guys?" #3 put in. "That might not be a good idea, y' know?"

"Howz' come?" Asked #1.

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"Yeah ..." #2 yeah-ed. "Howz' come?"

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"On accounta'," #3 on accounta-ed. "That's the place the silly, stupid, uneducated, inbred, backward, genetically disenfranchised villagers warned us about."

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"You mean," #1 you mean-ed. "Where the silly, stupid, uneducated, inbred, backward, genetically disenfranchised villagers say the local vampire hangs out?"

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"Same place, dude," #3 duded.

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"Y' know," #2 y' know-ed. "The village of Disenfranchia ain't TOO far. With a little more Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge ... ... Trudge ... We might make it in time for the next train out."

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"Sounds good ta' me," #1 good ta' me-ed. "Howzaboutit?"

Trudge ... Trudge ... Trudge.

Trudge.

"Jumpin' Jeekers!" #2 & #3 jumpin' jeeker-ed then you betchaed'. "YOU BETCHA'!"

TRUDGE! Trudge! Trudge! Trudge! TRUDGE! Trudge! Trudge! Trudge! TRUDGE! Trudge! Trudge! Trudge! TRUDGE! Trudge! Trudge! Trudge!

THE END


Story copyright © 7-17-13 Jay Agan


The Haunting of Heck House: A Very Short but Commonsense Horror Story here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

The Haunting of Heck House: A Very Short But Commonsense Horror Story

"Well hon, kids? This is it ... Our new home!"

The Haunting of Heck House: A Very Short But Commonsense Horror Story

by

Jay Agan


"Well hon, kids?" Said the Dad as he set down the luggage in the great hall. "This is it ... Our new home!"

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

"It's just like you said dear!" The Mom also exclaimed. "And at such a LOW price! How could that be?"

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

"I don't know hon, but I couldn't pass this one up."

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

"Well ... There's gotta be some kind of explanation. Something behind it. Honey ... I'm still not really sure about this ... I-"

"Get! ... Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwt!" Warned an echoing sepulchral voice from nowhere in particular.

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

"Guess that pretty much explains it." The Dad deduced brilliantly.

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

"I concur," the Mom concurred.

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

"Guess this is where we leave." The Dad deduced brilliantly again. "Waddaya think kids?"

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

"I concur," the Mom concurred again. "let's go!"

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

"Might wanna leave the little morons behind though."

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

"I concur yet again," the Mom concurred yet again. "After all ... They ARE home, after all."

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

The Mom & the Dad jumped in the car & sped down the road in a cloud of dust, a fiery exhaust & a hearty Hi-yo Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers! leaving the Kids standing on the porch.

"Oh wowww! Gee whiz! Gosh! Golly! Jumpin' Jeekers!" The Kids exclaimed.

THE END

Story copyright © 7-10-13 Jay Agan


Go to Jays Tee Vee blog main page here.

Casting Call, NOT QUITE!

Casting Call, NOT QUITE!

Was in the local hobby shop talking to the proprietor about my disatisfaction with The Whisperer In Darkness (To be addressed in a later blog post!) when he mentioned something that piqued my interest.

There was going to be a casting call at the very place in about less than an hour. A small horror film was in the making & they were looking for actors. As it was an open call & being a frustrated actor, I decided to attend. After a stop at a local fast food joint, I went back.

The call was already in session, & I was told he was already talking to a couple of rather attractive young ladies. Going to the back, I leaned in a corner & listened as the fellow explained some of the plot/storyline to the two.

Seems there was an incest/pregnancy subplot though nothing "overt" was to be shown. OK. He then said the film would involve a group of "religious" people who killed off dysfunctional families as what's "broken" stays "broken". That's when I left.

Even though I heard VERY little, I figured "religious" meant "Christian". Hollywood Christian. Meaning a bunch of violent low-grades spouting out of context verse & acting worse than the "heathen" they profess to be against. I may be wrong about what he meant by religious but I doubt it would be Kirk Cameron material.

Yes, I knew this was to be a "horror" film. I knew it would not be the kind you would show to your congregation. If it was to be a simple little fright flick (AND if I might be what they were looking for.) I wouldn't mind being in it.  But ... At the same time there's more than enough anti-Christian films out there giving a false impression of the Lord & believers. Of course many so-called followers & other Westboro Baptist types have been NO help at all in fostering such an image for others to pick up on.

What would Jesus do in regard to people broken by abuse of any kind? Including the abusers? I doubt he would advocate killing them. The fact the world in general & people in particlar are broken (Romans 5:12) is why he gave of himself, paying the penalty of the sinful state the world & individuals are in (Romans 6:23 & 5:8).

Hmmm ... why not a "horror" film based on John 8:3-11, wherin the "good" vigilanties are forced into examining themselves? Or a "political thriller" following the storyline of  2nd Samuel Chapts. 11 to 19: A Godly man in high position goes wrong, is forgiven, but must still pay the penalty(s) & unintended consequences. You get the idea. By the way, look up the above passages.

I guess I should be heartened by the fact that the technology to "bypass" Hollywood is more than in the reach of those of limited means. A shame so many feel the need to emulate Tinsletown. There's so much good material out there (A lot not even in the Bible.) that could be used to uplift/promote good.


How Do We Get to Heaven? here.

What Will Heaven Be Like? here.

God & Science web site here.

On the Rapture, Third Impact, Armageddon & All That here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

I Wanna Be A Protestant!





      The following is not about how I came to Christ. It's about an "incident" that pretty much got me to thinking of "getting out" of Catholicism at an early age.

      For info on salvation & certainty in eternity click here (Have a bible handy.). Skip over the first half as it's a satiric look at Harold Camping, Hal Lindsey & other date setters combined with material from the Neon Genesis Evangelion anime series.


                                             I Wanna Be A Protestant!

                                                               by

                                                                  Jay Agan

      Thanksgiving, 1967 & it's off to the grandparents in Elmira, NY. Alright! A solid week of TV shows/cartoons (This is how I really became cognizant of anime!) & scarey movies we couldn't catch in Ohio (Cable TV from New York City! For more on that click here & here.). One thing wrong. An aunt was getting married that week.

      Now what is it good Catholics have at a typical Catholic wedding? High Mass!

      Mass, or Catholic church services, entail a LOT tedious ritual including bell ringing, chanting, praying pre-set prayers aloud, "aerobics" (Kneel, sit, stand, beat your chest, sit, kneel, stand, genuflect, stand, kneel, sit, stand, kneel, cross yourself, sit, stand, kneel, etc.), and a long winded sermon all the kids & at least half  the adults didn't understand. Regular mass took at least more than an hour & high mass up to two. The spiritual effect on a thirteen year old? ZERO!

       This, coupled with a wedding, put most kids into a catatonic stupor. At least we got to unwind at the wedding reception.

Yes .... the resemblance is ..... uncanny.

       Next day, Thanksgiving. What do good Catholics do on Thanksgiving? Especially if they overslept from yesterdays' festivities thus missing the shorter services? High Mass!

       High Mass..... Twice ..... In as many days. Hhhhhhhnnnnnngh!

      A two day respite then Sunday. What do good Catholics do on Sunday? Especially if it took a while readying for the trip back home thus missing earlier services? High Mass ..... AGAIN!

      This was made doubly miserable by the fact we had an 8+ hour trip back to central Ohio plus a 90 minute + leg to military school for me.

      St. Aloysius Military Academy. Run by the Franciscan order of nuns. Though Vatican II was in effect, you couldn't tell if they knew it or not. V1 from before the word go. I was so looking forward to getting back there ..... NOT!

      It was soon after I resolved to become a Protestant. Whatever that was .....

                                      Article copyright © 11-8-2011 Jay Agan

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.

Spider Baby Lyrics: Screams n' Moans n' Bats n' Bones .....

"Ooooooo! I caught the Fed-Ex guy!" Jill Banner as the title character.

                               
                     
                      Spider Baby Lyrics: Screams n' Moans n' Bats n' Bones .....

                                   
                                    Screams and moans and bats and bones
                                    And teenage monsters in haunted homes
                                    The ghost on the stair, the vampires' bite
                                    Better beware, there's a full moon tonight

                                    Cannibal spiders creep and crawl
                                    And boys and ghouls having a ball
                                    Frankenstein, Dracula and even the Mummy
                                    Are sure to end up in somebodys' tummy

                                    Take a fresh rodent, some toadstools and weeds
                                    And add an old owl and the young one she breeds
                                    Mix in seven legs from an eight-legged beast
                                    And then you're all set for a cannibal feast

                                    Sit round the fire with this cup of brew
                                    A fiend and a werewolf on each side of you
                                    This cannibal orgy is strange to behold
                                    And the maddest story ever told


Happy Halloween one & all!

Music by Ronald Stein.

Lyrics by ?

"Sung" by Lon Chaney Jr.

Music/film credits here.

Full redition of "song" here.

Fantomas version here.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

Can Someone Tell Me What's Going On?

      When I started this blog I was hoping for a lot of hits as anyone would. It started slow & things began to "pick up" in February (380 hits.). Some were starting to notice. March started out at the same rate until Japans' crisis took precedence & peoples' attention diverted to that. When after it took a back seat to the fracas in Libya, the blogs' hit rate started to climb again though I doubted the last week and a half of March would get past 250 let alone the 380 of February.

      Then a strange thing happened & is still going on. I get home from work in the AM on the 28th of March & go online to check my stats. At the right end of the chart I see this flurry of activity. 43 hits for that day! (That was a  lot at that point. In February I got 25 one day & thought that was a big deal at the time.)

      Seems one of my articles got popular. I wrote Call of Cthulhu: One Really Worth Watching back on February 20 over a month ago. I'd like to think it's because it's a great article (Of course it is. I wrote it! My being humble prevents me from telling you how GREAT this GREAT article is. That's me, humble & proud of it!) about a great movie, but as just about all of the hits are coming from Google Image Search, I think it's because a lot of people want to snag that image, a demotivational poster I snagged from elsewhere. I hope some of these folks actually read the article (It's now over 500 hits on it!).
     
      The only connection I can see for such interest is the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society is putting the finishing touches on their latest film The Whisperer In Darkness & taking it to some film fests in Europe, thus the attention. I haven't found anything on a major studio releasing anything Lovecraft related.

      Anyone know what's going on?

You Tube link to Call of Cthulhu trailer here.

You Tube link to The Whisperer In Darkness trailer here.

You Tube link to The Whisperer In Darkness trailer 1 here.

You Tube link to The Whisperer In Darkness trailer 2 here.

Link to H.P. Lovecrafts' Dark Heritage article here.

Go to Main Page here.

Worlds' First Cosplayer

Mister Monster, Dr. Acula, the poormans'
Vincent Price. Whatever you called him, he
was Uncle Forry to me.

                                             
                                               Worlds' First Cosplayer

                                                              by

                                                                  Jay Agan

      The vast majority of anime fans have probably never heard of Forrest J Ackerman. Yet he had more of an indirect influence on anime fandom than most realize.

      Writer, literary agent, actor, collector, punster, promoter of the fantastic in film & in print. Superfan. As editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland he was a great influence in my formative years. Every month I would get an education in the cinematic worlds of horror, sci-fi, fantasy & mystery.Though the magazine was somewhat juvenile in nature (So was Mr. Ackerman!), it nonetheless took one behind the camera & intro-d you to the people & methods of the "magic" that made these movies great. Many big names in Hollywood & around the world were inspired by this man & his magazine to enter the industry. It is safe to say the world of western cinema would not be the same today if not for this man.

      Forrest Ackerman may also have been the initiator of the field of cosplay.

      At the first World Science Fiction Convention (1939) in New York City, he showed up in costume (See photo below.). This caused quite a stir, so much so, that the 1940 con had several more people so attired. Cosplay went from there to what we see today at anime & sci-fi cons the world over.

Forry cosplaying at the 1st World Science
Fiction Con in New York City, 1939.

      There is more to this story however. Though it's mentioned from time to time its' implications aren't considered & should be.

      Mr. Ackerman was not the only one in costume at the con in '39. Accompanying him was Myrtle R. Douglas, the designer of the costumes they wore (She was attired as a character from Things To Come.). That's right! Forrest J Ackerman was the first sci-fi geek/"otaku" to show up at a convention with a ..... GIRLFRIEND! (Until "recently", how many otakus, anime or otherwise, have even HAD girlfriends?) THAT, my friends, is what is called HISTORY!

      Hats off to ya Forry! You were one of the people who made my life a little more fun & interesting than it otherwise would have been. Though you were a staunch atheist while among us, it is my sincere hope that you have been (And still are.) pleasantly surprised. God bless you sir!

                                Article copyright © 3-17-2011 Jay Agan

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.

Something On a Saturday Afternoon

                                       Something On a Saturday Afternoon

                                                                by

                                                                    Jay Agan

      As stated in previous articles, our local TV stations didn't have horror/sci-fi flicks on in the afternoons. This was something reserved for after 11:30 PM & on weekends at that. I suspect this was because of central Ohio being a conservative area & the stations didn't want to offend "bible belt" sensibilities.

      We kids weren't allowed to stay up past 11 PM so any chance of watching such kool stuff was less than minimal. Other kids were allowed to on weekends & I always felt left out in discussions at school or on the bus. All that great stuff they got to see on Chiller Theater (Ch 10, WBNS) & all I could do was ask annoying questions.

      This was "torture" to me & my only resort was in reading about these great movies that were out of reach. By the late 60s it got so I was very knowlegable of these flicks years before I got to see any of them. Thanks to Famous Monsters of Filmland & other sources, I was the "scarey" movie expert at school.

      One "bright spot" occured in those "wilderness" years on a mid-Saturday afternoon in '63. After a short session of comic book reading (There was no such thing as "graphic novels" or manga back then. I can't use that word. Sounds like some kind of fruit or veg.), I head downstairs to the fridge. I notice younger brother watching something on TV: An "army guy" (Oh boy! A war movie!) letting a babe pass through a roadblock to snap pictures of a devastated town. I sat down for a look-see.

      After a while we're introduced to a couple of scientists growing way oversized fruits & vegs using radioactive substances. It was starting to get interesting.

      The military allows babe reporter & nerd boys to examine the devastation again. When the giant grasshopper came over the wreckage & gizorped one of the whiz kids (Played by Ed Extra.) I was hooked! Hey! Some science fiction! All right!

      It later developes the grasshoppers were the inadvertant result of the plant experiments & the swarm is moving on Chicago. The flick: Beginning of the End.

"Uh, Peggie. Have you ever been inside a Turkish prison? Uh,
..... have you ever been in a crummy movie?" Peter Graves
& Peggie Castle in Beginning of the End. Credit: Republic

     
      It's not a very good film. A Bert I. Gordon hack job from 1957. The story is typical 50s schlock with laughable special effects. The kind of sloppy science fantasy you'd expect to find of that era.

      Yet. To a thrill starved "monster kid" as I was, this was a piece of HEAVEN!

      I didn't feel so left out at school that following Monday.

                                     Article copyright © 3-15-2011 Jay Agan

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I Meet Someone Famous

                            

Ray Harryhausen contemplates skeleton model for his film,
The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad. Columbia Pictures, 1958.

                                           I Meet Someone Famous

                                                             by

                                                                Jay Agan

      
      It happened to me during MARCON at the Hyatt Regency in Columbus, Ohio last Memorial Day weekend. He was attending the H.P. Lovecraft seminar. Most of the seminar went by interestingly enough before I noticed him. The presentation/discussion drifted to the authors' well known love of cats.

      Across the aisle, to my right a few rows ahead, a very distinctive voice made some comments. My mind went into overdrive (transmission slipping, gears grinding) trying to place it. It resolved itself as I remembered those stentorian tones from interviews on various dvds.

      He worked from behind the camera. Many of you have seen his films. Though he wasn't producer/director he might as well have been as his works were the center of the films they appeared in. He's still active today in regard to the marketing and enhancement of his & others movies. I had to meet this guy!

      The seminar over, I approached. As I did so, I heard a couple others mention his name. He was sitting there reading, as I introduced myself.

      "Excuse me sir." He looked up. "You have a very distinctive voice," I paused and, "are you who I think you are?"

      I then noticed his name tag to bear a different moniker.

      "I'm sorry. I see by your tag you're not the one I thought you were."

      "Actually, I am someone else," he replied in that unforgettable voice.

      "I understand sir. It was good to meet you." I left the room. He wanted his privacy. I can respect that.

      I don't think he had an event or seminar at the con. Was he in central Ohio on business? Visiting relatives? Who knows? Outside, I ran into one of the seminars' speakers.

      "Do you know who that was you were talking to a few rows back?"

      "No, who?" Replying with some concern.

      "--- -----------."

      "Really? You sure?"

      Another attendee walked up confirming what I said. She recalled he was sitting behind her when the speaker mentioned some work in a Lovecraft related film wasn't as good as --- ------------s. She said she heard him say, "Oh, he gave me a plug."

      I really wish I could tell you who he was. Yeah, frustrating. For all you know, I'm just making this up and I don't blame you for thinking so. At best, you're thinking he was mistaken for someone else. If it wasn't him, it had to have been his twin.

      He wanted his privacy & to be left alone. I have to leave it at that.

                                                Article copyright © Jay Agan


Addendum: As he passed away on May 7, 2013, I can now reveal that it may have been Ray Harryhausen I had inadvertantly met. If it wasn't, it sure looked & sounded like him! Needless to say, I find it interesting that he may have been an H.P. Lovecraft fan.

Photo & links added 5-9-13


Ray Harryhausen: Farewell To A Master here.

Night At The Drive In (One Million Years BC) here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.　

Strange Young Lady, Strange Little Movie

                                           Strange Young Lady, Strange Little Movie

                                                                           by

                                                                              Jay Agan

      I was cashiering at an unmentionable, cut rate, regional, merchandising, chainstore where I met an unusual co-worker. I noticed she would dye her hair (Death black, Chernobyl red, Jolly Ollie orange.) at regular intervals. Didn't think much of it at first though it certainly got the attention.

      A couple months into her employment, I found, through a chance discussion about movies, that she liked anime. (That certainly explained the interesting hair colorations.) This rekindled an old interest I had in the genre. By that time I had been collecting movies for a couple years & was seeking to expand in another direction. Anime seemed a colorful way of doing so & I haven't looked back scince.

      It wasn't only anime she was into, but all things Japanese. And she seemed such an intelligent person. She could speak German, & her Japanese was quite good. Not your typical anime geek, otaku, or Japanophile or whatever it was she considered herself. She told me she had Japanese ancestry (Which I found VERY hard to believe.) A chance meeting with her dad in the checkout line revealed she was about as Japanese as Irish stew.

      Getting to know her better as time went on, I would kid her about her interest in "them there furrin' cartoons". At times she would act rather sensitive about it. I'd say "cartoons", she'd say "anime" (Sometimes "ANIME ---- it!"). I'd say "comic books", she'd say "manga". She'd say "Banzai!", I'd say "John Wayne". You get the idea.

      We had this informal, on again/off again, semi-friendly feud for quite some time. I rather enjoyed it though she wasn't always receptive &, at times, rather peeved.

      One day. She did something ..... awful.

      Knowing I was into sci-fi & horror, she suggested I check out a certain Japanese made horror film. As it was a recently made flick, I was somewhat reluctant. I have an aversion to "modern" horror as they go for the gore, leaving plot & story behind. Most of my flicks were made before 1980 as I'm pretty much "old school" when it comes to horror (Price, Lugosi, Karloff, etc.)

      Knowing the Japanese do things differently, (As one fellow stated on the Universal Monster Army message board: "The Japanese are 30% weirder than the west. And I mean that in a good way."), I bought the flick cold, sight unseen. Something I rarely do. Oh yes. Name of the film: Audition.

      This is not a review, but I will say this film is not so much a horror film as it is a horror. The first 3/4 is a slow building psycho-drama. the last 1/4 ..... excriutiating. Agonisingly, tooth watering, ..... excriutiatingly PAINFUL to view.

      I'm there ..... watching. Hands gripping armrests, fingers convulsingly impressing prints into the wood. Sometimes, sitting sideways, hand over one eye. No screaming or yelling. Only little mewling squeals & gurgles welling up from the bottom of my throat, sometimes spasming into "Oh ..... my .....GOD!". My teeth & jaws hurt so much from all that gnashing & clenching.

      I know the guys' intentions were less than honorable, but ..... did he really deserve ..... that? I will never listen to the prelude of Bizets' Carmen the same way again. If you want to find out what happens in this movie, by all means, see it for yourself. Better yet, by all means, DON'T!

      For days (Weeks!) after, my workplace "friend" would taunt me with that weird little sound the movies' psycho-babe made while manipulating acupuncture needles:

      "Deeki deeki deekideeeee!" (Subtitles said, "deeper! deeper!)

      My usual procedure with flicks I'm less than satisfied with is to either give them away (I'd rather a movie is appreciated elswhere, than sit on a thrift store shelf.), or in this case, throw it out (Save the cases when you do that. They come in handy if you're a collecter.). As I was about to toss it, a thought occured to me (Yes, it does hurt when that happens!). I'll give it to a close friend.

      This friend is an interesting guy: Been in the service over twenty years. Well read/educated, PHD in history. Works for the government (So he's not ALL good, what the hey.). Part time college professor. Traveled the world, "Been there, done that." (At least twice.) Seen some combat (Doesn't care to talk about it.) The closest I've seen to a "Renaissance Man".

      So it was with some fascination/amazement/amusement I saw this guy get unhinged over a viewing of The Silence of the Lambs some years before.

      "Jay? ..... Jay! What's happening next!? What now!?"

      Gave him a sing songy, "not gonna tell ya, har har har!"

      "C'mon Jay!"

      "No way! Snicker, chortle!"

      "Agan ----it!"

      "Hee hee hee hee!" So it went. At times, my mind is not well.

      On one of his travels through, I dropped a bag of movies on him, making it a point to see this particular flick.

      Two weeks later, he calls me up for the express purpose of telling me what a vile piece of crud I am. Seems he made the mistake of watching it with his newly married wife. Now she has more doubts about me than before. (Due to the machinations of aforesaid merchandising chain, I missed their wedding & never met her. What George told her about me must have been interesting enough. Audition did not help.)

      Later, he got the urge to "share the love" & lent the disc to someone at his place of work. Now he's looked askance of by a couple other people.

      The world can be a brighter, better place if even only a few of us "pass it forward". I know it has for several other folks. All thanks is due to a rather strange young lady I met at work.

      You didn't think I was gonna blame myself ..... did you?

                                                       Article copyright © Jay Agan

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

Not So HOTD



Photo Credit: Madhouse



                                                                Not So HOTD

                                                                            by

                                                                              Jay Agan

     I've come to dislike the zombie genre. Zombies are "easy", making the movies are"easy", & look it. These flicks get a lot of hype & raves but I don't see much in this genre seemingly starving for a gimmick. The only ones I have in my collection are the original '68 Night of the Living Dead & Return of the Living Dead (A funny, yet very disturbing film. And I'm not referring to Linnea Quigley!)

     It was with some trepidation I took a look at High School of the Dead (Gakuen Mokushiroku or Apocalypse Academy. Produced by Madhouse. Directed by Tetsuro Araki.) Was'nt as bad as I thought though not as good as I'd have liked. As this show is an anime, suspension of disbelief is doubly required, which helped a lot.

     Starts off well enough. First three eps cover the unexplained breakout of the plague & its seemingly instantaneous escalation. The protagonists (angsty guy, his spear/staff wielding occasional girlfriend, dark haired kendo chick (my favorite), military nerd, self proclaimed girl genius, &.....Nurse Bubblehead (not my favorite). ), meet up & bust out of the school.

     Fourth ep is the "budget" chapter. Lotsa rehash & repeat of earlier scenes. Kind of reminiscent of those movie serials from the 40s.

     5th - 7th. It gets dumb. The good guys hole up in Nurse Bubbleheads' apartment (With a full military Humvee parked outside!) & "fortuitous" things happen. Seems the vacant ones' room mate is a special ops type (Who is elsewhere, clearing airport runways as a sniper.) with an easily broken into gunsafe full of goodies. The girls start acting drugged/drunk & compare breast sizes in the bath. Two try coming on to the angsty guy. Kendo chick parades around the kitchen in apron & thong. The excuse being they had to wash their clothes. All that blood.

     As if there weren't enough "fanservice" already. I haven't seen this many bums 'n boobs scince I attended a Three Stooges film fest in the early 90s. It goes back to a "reasonable" (For the series.) level after. This is partially redeemed with the rescue of a little girl & a dog.

     In ep 8, things getting precarious, the band leaves the apartment & fall in with a large group occupying a huge estate, by becoming trapped by a crowd of the undead against a titanium wire fence strung accross a street. Tense moments as the group takes out the the closing horde one by one while seemingly unable to figure out they can easily bend down & step through the fence. In another of those cartoon non-coincidences, their rescuers are led by the group genius' mom.

     Ep 9 & 10. It's not clear how Mr. & Ms. Genius aquired their wealth but it seems "counter cultural" activities & violence may have been involved. Here, the kids rest up & assert their rights to the weapons they "borrowed" earlier when some of the henchmen try to appropriate them (Mr. Genius backs the kids' play.).

     Some of the citizenry squatting on the estate, are in "denial" & want to get back to "democracy" as in right now. Their fantasies are shattered in eps 11& 12: The U.S. president launches nukes, Russia replies in kind. As the worlds militaries are too far gone, few nukes leave their silos thus WWlll is sparse. One does an EMP burst over Japan & communications go dead.

     The zombie horde breaks through the estate gate & the final battle is on. The protagonists make their escape. After the closing credits, our group is last seen crossing a bridge on foot in the hopes of finding family members. T.S. Elliots' quote from The Hollow Men appears: "This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but a wimper." So does the series.

     I've left quite a bit out of this summary. A vile, manipulative, teacher (Who must have gotten a lot more "face time" in the manga series.). Angsto gets separated from the group twice, with a "girl of his choice". The series also depicts civil unrest/social collapse, breakdown of authority, confrontations with demented survivors, etc. One very brief but disturbing scene in ep 1 has a friend turning on another. Both "get theirs".

     I am less than happy with this series, but it does come accross as "different" from the Romero school. Perhaps it's because the show is an anime that I get that "feel". I doubt I'll buy it but I'd keep it if it was given to me (No. That's not a hint.) If it weren't for all that excessive (& exagerated!) T & A.....

                                                       Article copyright © Jay Agan

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DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

A Twilight Zone Moment

Photo credit: Cayuga Prod., CBS Television

                                

A Twilight Zone Moment
                                                                 
by
                                                                 
Jay Agan

    
Twilight Zone. Man, who can forget that classic tv show. Rod Serling scared the bejabbers out of millions of kids & warped their little minds forever. Bent mine for sure ... And someone elses'.

"It'll scare you & you'll have nightmares." Mom was rather adamant about stuff like this. We weren't allowed to watch TZ, Outer Limits, or any other cool stuff. According to her, Lassie was the stuff of darkness. I think she was being overly protective.

"Don't play with that beach ball. You'll put your eye out!" You get the idea.

Maybe it was a lapse in judgement. Maybe at Dad's urging, Halloween coming up, or some kind of cosmic disconnect. But one Friday in October of 63, we got to see The Twilight Zone. Gilligans' Island (Good grief!) ended & Zone started up. Cool!

"Nightmare at 20,000 Feet", starring some obscure scene chewer who was to become a lot more familiar a few years later. (We all love ya, Bill!)

"Twas a dark & stormy night, etc." Twin engine Convair plowing through the gloom. Dramatic buildup as the poor slob becomes cognizant of the fuzzy gremlin tampering with the port engine, no one believing him. We kids, glued to the tube, not once taking our eyes off the screen. Watching.....watching.

I think we held up pretty good. That is, until.....

Tension at its peak. Window curtains closed. Shatners' character, fresh out of the loony bin, trying in vain to convince himself that what he's seeing couldn't possibly be real. There's no plushy critter out on the wing messing with the engine. No demon bringing passengers & crew to their doom. An illusion, an hallucination. That's what the docs back at the booby hatch would say.

Finally, he can't take it any longer. Hands slowly reach for the curtains & he whips them open.

And peering ... right back in at him ... it's ... "Mr. Weird"!

A very high pitched keening sound came from behind, then a thump! splat!, vibrations ran through the floor & up my back.

I turned to the left, finding Mom trying to peel youngest brother off the wall. She almost needed a spatula! He wasn't going to let some formidable barrier get in the way of getting away! If this was a 'toon, he would have left a kid shaped hole.

Fast forward. Christmas of 95. We draw names out of a hat to economize on gifts. I drew youngest brothers' & get him a couple of vhs tapes. Zone episodes. One of which was his "favorite".

He looks at them. Then at me with that toothy smile of his:

"Gee ... thanks ... PRICK!"


Article copyright © Jay Agan


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DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

A Few For Halloween & One Not

                                                   A Few For Halloween & One Not

                                                                            by
          
                                                                              Jay Agan

        Yes, Halloween! My favorite time of year & what better way to celebrate than with that grand tradition of THE HAUNTED HOUSE. Here's five flicks to get you in the mood.

 1.    House on Haunted Hill- No not that abortive remake from a few years back but the great one from 1958.

        Millionare Frederick Lauren (Vincent Price at his slightly hammy yet sinister best.) is throwing a party. A haunted house party. He  commandeered the idea from his avaricious wife & invited only five people unknown to one another. Survivors (Or next of kin.) get ten grand each if they last the night.

        The party takes place at "the only truly haunted house in the world". Thrown into the mix of ghosts, acid vats, creeping ropes, & bloodstains are party favors packed in little gift coffins. Colt .45 automatics! Soon, everyone is armed & precarious. And the fun hasn't even started yet!

        A mix of toungue in cheek, & deadly seriousness, the film is both funny & absorbing. Along for the ride is character actor Elisha Cook Jr. who even steals a scene or two from Price. This is a must see for any haunted house fan. Rated R (Don't know why. It's not that "mean" a film.).

 2.    The Ghost & Mr. Chicken (1966)- Luther Heggs (Ably portrayed by Don Knotts.), a nervous, high strung, homely type, must, on a dare, spend the night at "the old Simmons place". This is on the 20th anniversary of a murder/suicide that had taken place there. The house is about to be torn down & Luther is assigned by his paper to write a story.

        Complicating matters are sneering townsfolk/coworkers, a Simmons relative keen on tearing the place down, a possible romance, & poor Luthers' chronic squeamishness of life in general. A nice, scarey, little comedy about a "little" man overcoming obstacles & fears within. "Atta boy, Luther!" Not rated.


 3.    The Uninvited (1944)- The first American made film to take the haunted house theme seriously. A brother & sister (Ray Milland & Ruth Hussey) buy an old English mansion & encounter the spirit residing within. As the story unfolds & mystery unravels, it becomes apparant supernatural forces are intent on harm of the living through the living. A great, atmospheric, little chiller. On VHS only. Not Rated.

 4.     The Legend of Hell House (1973)- A wealthy man hires a team of researchers to investigate "the Mt. Everest of haunted houses" for proof of life after death. A scientist, his wife, & two psychics spend several days there in the chaos that follows. These ghosts are not happy & are quite clear about it (Watch out for the killer kitty!).

        Decadence, possesion, dementia & death well portrayed in an oppressive atmosphere of encroaching doom. The "action" scenes in this early 70s chiller more than show it not to be one of those cozy little tales. Rated PG.

 5.    Burnt Offerings (1976)- A writer (Oliver Reed) & his family lease a vacation home that is not haunted but the haunter itself. The family gradually falls under its' spell as it slowly draws the life from & enslaving them before going in for the kill. An interesting study of materialism & obsessivness. Quite  a bit different for a movie of its' type. Rated PG.

                                                                 And One Not

 6.    The Haunting (1963)- Acclaimed by critics & viewers alike, a masterpiece of horror. Or so they say.

        I just can't see it that way. I found the story dull & the scares unexiting. The characters are mostly bland except for Julie Harris. What she does is whine, whine, whine!, making a rather boring film excrutiating as well. I included this due to its' popularity. A lot of folks seem to like this one though I can't.

        There you have it. There are other flicks fitting into this category, but these are the ones (& one not) I enjoy most.

                                                       Article copyright © Jay Agan

Disclaimer: All film ratings are on the films respective containers. Discretion is up to you.

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