Showing posts with label Hal Lindsey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hal Lindsey. Show all posts

Friday, January 10, 2014

Hey! Rapture Bunnies! ... IT'S ... OVER!

For the rest of the story, click here.


Hey! Rapture Bunnies! ... IT'S ... OVER!


That's right, you good "Christians". I got news for ya! And you're not gonna' believe what it is.

Brace yourselves:

The RAPTURE has already taken place. It's already happened.

That's right! You "heard" me. It's all done and gone. You don't have to look forward to it anymore.

As described in explicit detail in Rev. 3:23-34, the Lord has come and gone with all the GENUINE believers, leaving the rest of us to face the LaHaye/Lindsey (They're still here too!) envisioned apocalypse.

Flood, fire, famine, plagues, sores, THE MARK(!), nuclear war, chaos, alien invasion, flesh eating zombies, Obama getting a third term ... Yeah ... The whole apocalyptic schmear. And ... YOU ... are going to face it!

Yessssss ... YOU!

You see, the RAPTURE took place last week. No one noticed 'cause there were so few actual GENUINE believers out there to begin with. Just a few more missing persons reports was all it amounted to.

Too bad for you too. Now that you're Left Behind ©, you're gonna' have to "put your money where your mouth is" or rather your superficial faith where your martyrdom will be. Doubt you'll hold out long.

Shoot, you'll be the first to take the mark 'n be done (for) with it.

As for me, I just might help the baddies round you up. Never could stand you smug, arrogant rapture bunnies looking down your noses at the heathen to the accompaniment of your self satisfied psalm singing.  I'll get my fun though you won't.

And don't give me that crap that it couldn't have happened because YOU'RE still here.

One thing's for sure.

For you, the Tribulation is about to take place.

Why?

Because I'M here!

MUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Just sayin' ...

Igor ... Throw the switch!


Ty Templetons' Art Land here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee main page here.


Disclaimer: The above "theological" rant is meant as a joke and not to be taken seriously except by the sanctimonious. And you know what they say about those who can't take a joke ...

But then ... I say the same about those who can ...

Friday, September 7, 2012

Reality Check On Israel

 

Reality Check On Israel


Back in the day I was involved with individuals/organisations whose activities involved wearing funny uniforms & meeting in basements. I left the "movement" long ago for various reasons, not the least of which was the bad cosplay.

As a fundamentalist Christian (And not a very good one.), I atypically reject the teachings/rantings of the Hagees, LaHayes, Lindseys & other apocalypse hucksters/end times "theologians". I also DO NOT think our military presence in the mid-east & central asia to be divinely inspired either. I take a very dim view of our foriegn policy being influenced by someone elses' INTERPRETATION of the word of God.

It therefore comes as no surprise to those who know me that I'm not what you would call a rabid Zionist.

It was therefore with some interest that my attention was called to the 50% "two thirds majority" fiasco at the Democrat Nat. Convention a day or so ago. This is the first time I've ever heard of three strikes being the equivalent of a homer.

It seems a couple planks were "overlooked" in the initial drafting of the Democrat Partys' 2012 campaign platform (Why they didn't vote on them separately is beyond me.). The first being about GOD as a part of our history & national dialogue. Actually it's quite understandable about that originally being left out. That God guy with his plaintive call to accountability tends to cramp the style of catered to special interests.

The other was a statement about Jerusalem being the capital of Israel. On that, I think it's time for a ...

REALITY CHECK:

The capital of Israel is ... WHATEVER THE ISRAELIS SAY IT IS.

The Israelis are the only ones in any real position as to the determination of that. NOT the U.S., NOT the U.N., and NOT the various Palestinian groups of which I think the Democrat Party is trying to be numbered with. Wether it's Jerusalem (A Mecca for tourists.), Tel Aviv, Haifa, Parkyacarcass ... whatever. It's up to them to decide & no one else. As long as they don't designate anyplace within the borders of the United States, its' territories & possessions they'll get no squawk from me.


"Thanks for the memories."

Which leads me to wonder. How many Democrat (Or Republican for that matter.) National Conventions from now will there be debate on inserting a platform plank on wether or not Israel has a right to exist ( A nagging little issue that crops up at the U.N. from time to time.)?

Again: The only ones having any right to determine anything like that are the Israelis. They are very good at asserting that right & have been doing so since 1948.

Just sayin'.

By the way. I refer to that bunch as the Democrat Party, NOT the Democratic Party. After what happened last Wednesday, I doubt it's democratic.


How three strikes equal a home run here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Would You buy a Used Eschatology From This Man?


Well ..... would you?
 
                          Would You buy a Used Eschatology From This Man?

                                                                 by

                                                                    Weatherly Hardy

       How can ANYONE listen seriously to Hal Lindsey anymore? The other night I turned on George Noory's Coast to Coast AM, and there was ol' Hal, rabbiting on about Bible End-Timey-Wimey prophecies, Gog and Magog, Armageddon, and totally ignoring that he has been reliably wrong for forty-plus years.

      His NYT Bestselling book (ALWAYS a good indicator of doctrinal correctness) The Late Great Planet Earth made a number of predictions, not the least of which involved the establishing of the nation of Israel in 1948 being the "budding of the fig tree" referred to by Jesus in Matthew:

"Now learn this parable from the fig tree: When its branch has already become tender and puts forth leaves, you know that summer is near. 33 So you also, when you see all these things, know that it is near — at the doors! 34 Assuredly, I say to you, this generation will by no means pass away till all these things take place. 35 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will by no means pass away." (NKJV) MATTHEW 24:32       This appears in Mark and Luke as well. A Biblical generation is generally understood to be 40 years, The idea became popularized that Jesus would therefore return within 40 years of the re-establishing of Israel (or at least Rapture the church), in other words, by 1988. Come Jan 1, 1989, this was proven to be incorrect.

      1948-1988......no RAPTURE. This alone is enough to establish Hal Lindsey as a false prophet, but there has been no word of repentance to date from Mr. Lindsey. Rather there have been several books from him updating his ideas.

      No repentance for false prophecies, no rapture, no shamefaced shutting his prophetic pie-hole.

      Why do we have an entire Christian culture addicted to this prophetic foofery? I came to Christ during the LGPE wave. I read the Bible, and listened to mature Christian teachers, and got over it.

      Why can't people figure out that language and grammar don't get all gooey just because you are reading the Bible? "This generation" means "THIS generation", the generation to whom Jesus was speaking. The Gospel according to the New York Times is another gospel.

      I have neither the time nor the inclination to examine all of a four-decades-old book. Read the Bible. Hear it.

This article originally posted on Aardvarks Plumbline.

Weatherly Hardy is the somewhat (?) disturbed individual who is proprietor of Aardvark Tees. As in T-shirts. Check his goodies out! (Uh ..... his T-shirts that is.)

Go to main page here.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Rapture Bunnies: Digging My Grave Deeper


                                 Rapture Bunnies: Digging My Grave Deeper

                                                                  by

                                                                      Jay Agan

      Time: 11 years ago.

       Place: A warehouse (Ahem! DISTRIBUTION CENTER!) particularly the toy & sporting goods departments. Many Clients. Where I got to know more about Pokemon than I cared to (Thankfully mostly forgotten. For a crash curse ..... uh ..... course on Pokemon, click here. Everybody Polk-a-mon!).

      The cast: 1. A "repulsive" little man with a sullen manner who I took an instant dislike to but later found to be an OK guy. Let's call him Carl.

      2. The ..... rapture bunny. Seen during lunch & breaks literally poring over a volume of the Left Behind series. Moron ..... uh more on him later.

      3. Assorted fellow workers.

      4. A mish mash of go-getters, cheerleaders, rah rah boys, self motivators, bootlickers, rats/snitches, & self appointed guardians of the hive mind (ie.: Those "amateur spies" Orwell warned about in 1984.).

      5. Yours truely.

      Atmosphere: PC to the max & beyond. Check your civil & Constitutional rights at the door. Only a list of outmoded suggestions anyway. Especially that Bill of Rights part ..... thing.

      How PC you ask? Check this out.

      I was "caught" having a conversation with the toy depts' manager & a co-worker about the toys of yesteryear. I commented on the varied uniforms of the original 1960s GI Joe line of dolls ..... oops! ..... action figures. I made a mention of the SS garb complete with swazi armbands.

      A new supervisor (Seldom seen out of his office.) was walking by & looked strangely at us. Made me wonder what the heck his problem was.

      Twenty minutes later I'm called into this guys' office. I was told to watch what I say. After all (In his words.) a "holocaust survivor" might be walking through the warehouse & be offended (Hasbro, the makers of the GI Joe line, is short for Hassenfeld Brothers. Did they ever feel offended by any of their own products?). Oh yes. Would I be so kind as to sign this paper stating my humbleness/  contrition, acknowledgement/confession of guilt/evil & acceptance of just punishment consisting of being barred from any future promotions, raises, transfers, etc. for an indefinite period of time? Uh ..... no.

      He seemed to be rather put out by that & we tangled later on other things. Seems the business had a policy of not firing anyone but rather let pressures compel one to quit. That way no question about unemployment benefits.

      And pressure there was! List is too lengthy of the games management played. Let's just say a lot of people walked, as I eventually did (In one case a dept. of eight took off all at once!). It was because of these walkoffs people were being constantly shifted around to take up slack. Wich is where the main part of this story begins.

      I'm moved with Carl & the rapture bunny (He was from another dept.) to the "outdoors" section to pick 'n pack. One order called for a couple of American flag beach towels.

      AMERICAN FLAG BEACH TOWELS!

      Ever since I became aware of this countrys' rush to suicide, & its collective determination to drag me & everyone else down with it, I have, year by year, become less & less patriotic (The country wanting to kill itself is one thing. To take me along & have me subsidize it as well is quite another.). But even today, I KNOW you don't toss the flag in the dirt in order to keep sand off your posterior! True, the colors were a bit off & there was a white anchor in the field of blue BUT .....

      I got rather vocal about it.

      So much so that within the hour the dept. supervisor had me in his office. He said to the effect that people had the right to be in a safe/secure workplace & Ihad "distressed" some of my co-workers. I stated I had threatened no one.

      Be that as it may, would I be so kind as to sign this paper stating my humbleness /contrition, acknowledgement of guilt/evil & acceptance of just punishment consisting of being barred from future promotions, raises, transfers etc. for an indefinite period of time?

     What was this? Double (not so) secret probation? (FOOD FIGHT!)

      Having read the "charges" I said no.

      We agreed I would sign if he reworded it & sent me back to work. I should NOT have agreed to anything (I needed the job & my mental state was not the greatest during this period in my life.). This did get me a breather & I was able to steel myself for what was next. In fact, I got mad. PISSED!

      There the inquisitors were. In the sporting goods section, interviewing everyone about the "incident". The rapture bunny was absent. Must have been on break. Those asked pretty much gave general answers about how ticked off I was but said I threatened no one. When they questioned Carl, his answer was "I didn't hear anything." They asked him three times. Same answer. My respect for this man jumped from negatives to right through the roof!

      Later, I'm back in the supervisors office. Four other people were there. Three of his cronies & the jerk from the GI Joe affair. That was the capper. I flat out refused to sign.

      To say they were a bit put out by it would be putting it mildly. I wasn't off balance this time & no one got anywhere. Sticking with their policy of "let 'em walk" I didn't lose my job.

      The supervisor admitted the towel looked too much like the flag & though patriotism being all well & good but ..... in so many words, business was business & guidelines were guidelines. Ja! Ja! Und befehl ist befehl! Moloch must be fed. I wonder what those fools were thinking several months later when patriotism came back in style right after 9-11.

      Well I go back & everybody was on break except for ..... the rapture bunny. Just him & I. There he was. On the phone. Talking to the supervisor .....

      "Oh no! He wasn't really trying to ..... I mean he wasn't upset about ..... What he was really upset about was ....."

      I could only stand & "marvel" at the sheer idiocy of the whole thing (If I said or did anything they'd add it to the "list".). In his eagerness to clear up a "misunderstanding" he confirmed/affirmed not only their conclusions but also was digging my grave deeper. How many people in graver situations have suffered because of the eagerness of "good citizens" to "clear things up"? How many have paid more due to the "helpfulness" of such unwanted "friends". With friends like these ..... who needs enemas?

      Maybe he was doing it out of Christian "love". Maybe he thought he was doing the "right thing". All I know is innocent people around the world have gone through much worse than I because someone was being "helpful". Dictators thrive on that sort of thing.

      About a month or two after this I walked. I took Carl aside & told him what I thought of him before & after the above incident & that I had nothing but the utmost respect for him. We shook hands & I left.

      Rapture bunnies. If in the event the "situation" gets theologically ugly (Or it being only another one of many dark pages of history.), they'll be the first to take the MARK when the gospel of Lindsey LaHaye doesn't pan out. When they see Jesus isn't going to be airlifting them out any time soon, they'll become disillusioned/disappointed & hitch their wagons to another star. They'll be the first to turn on you & rat you out. Toward the end they'll be warming themselves by fires fueled on volumes of the Left Behind series.

      In the words of the noted survivalist writer, Kurt Saxon: "The only rapture they'll feel is the taste of human flesh when they're hungry."

      Oh yes. God bless you Carl, wherever you are.

Article copyright © 10-8-2011 Jay Agan

Rapture Bunnies 'r Fun! here.

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Sunday, January 2, 2011

Angel Beats Episode 4.5


"Oh Yuzuru! This really sucks! Everyone's acting like a
buncha Yuis on habanero sauce!" "Yeah, babe. I know."
Credit: P. A. Works, Aniplex.
 
                                                          Oh Geez!

                                                               by

                                                                 Jay Agan

     Have just seen the Angel Beats OVA (episode 4.5), & wish I hadn't. I guess I'll start with the premise.

     Scheming to get face to face with GOD (Insert lightning flashes & peals of thunder.), Yuri cooks up a plan (Operation High Tension Syndrome) wherin everyone pretends to be fired up/enthused over school activities for a period of 12 hours. Of course, since they're faking it, & thus not finding "fulfillment", none of the gang will vanish "in the twinkling of an eye" (Take THAT, Hal Lindsey!). This is to confuse Angel/Kanade into thinking something isn't quite right in the "matrix" & she'll run to the Supreme Being and report. Yuri & co. are to follow her and finally confront the "Uncaused First Cause". If the operation is unsuccessful, everyone (Except Yuri) is to go on a seven day waterless fast!

     This is kind of like the dog who chases cars. What's he gonna do with it if he ever catches one? I'm no theologian but I think God's a little bigger than a Buick & I'm including the 1960s/70s "Deuce & a Quarter" in that estimation. Details ..... details .....

     Did I say the gang was to be fired up? More like exploding! To anyone who wanted to see other members of the SSS be more like Yui (An irritatingly hyperactive, though lovable, moron.) here's your chance. Hyper they are (And LOUD!) but minus Yuis' endearing charm. Never before, have I seen so many characters be so obnoxious & annoying at one time. They make the Three Stooges look like paragons of reserve & civility. Classes & halls are disrupted with gang members personality traits amplified beyond max tolerance levels. It's the invasion of the uber-Yuis with Angel & Otanashi vainly being characters for the viewer to identify with. The only thing more irritating is the omni present, beeping "high tension meter" in the lower left corner of the picture. Oh yes, Yui is "worse" than her usual self. Something I originally thought impossible.

     I hope this isn't IT for the OVA. And I hope any further chapters don't get this extreme. I really like this series & any attempts to "pad" it out like this, could only hurt. I would not introduce newcomers to anime (Or this show.) with this ep.
                                                           
                                         Article copyright © Jay Agan

For exact plot details, go to LuRas' Anime Blog here.

                                                 
Previous Angel Beats article: Not A Haruhi Clone here.


Angel Beats article: Angel Beats Redux here.

Return to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP

Friday, October 15, 2010

Angel Beats: Not A Haruhi Clone

The three protagonists of Purgatory: Otanashi, Yuri, &
Angel/Kanade. Credit: P. A. Works & Aniplex.
                                                     
                                             Angel Beats: Not A Haruhi Clone                      

                                                                    by

                                                                        Jay Agan

      One thing I've liked about anime is the willingness of the artists involved to try new concepts & ideas. Unlike the "safe"strategies followed by our animators, the Japanese "school" of animation exhibits a much greater willingness to experiment. To be sure it's pretty much hit or miss, but when it does hit, it can be an interesting viewing experience indeed.

      One of these "hits" is Angel Beats. Even if an anime is seemingly of a sub-genre I don't care for, (In this case, cutesy, moe, school girl crap.), I'll take a chance if it has a plot/theme I might go for. Here, the high school schtick is merely part of the backdrop. In actuality, the show is a techno-theological, action thriller.

      I've read some opinions likening this to The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, some even going so far as to refer to this (& one of the protagonists) as a Haruhi clone. I beg to differ. This series is so different as to stand on its' own. The only "sameness" I could find is that one protagonist bears a very superficial resemblance to Haruhi. How many other anime series feature "magical", assertive/energetic, schoolgirls? Not too sure but I THINK there may have been a few.

      On first viewing, I thought it was rather disjointed (Still do but much less so.) as well as violent & bloody. The final episode (More on this later.) however, made me want to rewatch the series.

      Theologically, it has something for every one. A Catholic(?) purgatory (In the form of a large high school boarding academy.), where those whose lives were lacking in some way come to resolve failed experiences/mistakes, and unload spiritual/emotional baggage before "passing on" (It must be Purgatory. The data tech there is Windows!). Reincarnation is a factor. There is even a "rapture" element in the way those who find peace leave the scene. (I'm what some would call a Christian fundamentalist though I don't subscribe to the "gospel" of Hal Lindsey or Tim LaHaye.) No matter what faith/theology one follows, anyone willing to see past what might be looked on as "pagan/infidel" & focus on what's compatible, may find this show intrigueing.

      The series centers around three main characters: The amnesiac, Yuzuru Otonashi who regains memory(s) overtime. Yuri Nakamura, a resentful girl who has it in for God due to a horrendous experience when she was alive. The target (Literally!) of Yuris' resentment is title character Angel/Kanade Tachibana. She's ostensibly there to enforce the "status quo" & help others find peace, sending them on their way. Due to Yuris' ongoing war with her, she's more preoccupied with countering (through VR tech-data manipulation) the operations of the Afterlife Battle Front, Yuris' band of "merry men". Thus all the gun & swordplay going on. Oh yes. Since you're already dead when there, you can't be killed. One usually "revives" a few minutes to a day later, either where you fall or in the schools' infirmary. Still hurts like,  uh.....purgatory, though. Ouch!

      The series is 13 eps long, packed with interesting twists & turns. Iwasawa, lead singer of the battlefronts' diversionary rock band (Girls Dead Monster) finds fulfillment in her music and disappears before one and all (ep 3). New enemies emerge (eps 5,7, & 10). (One, Naoi, joins the battlefront.) Differences with Kanade & Yuri are eventually ironed out (ep 7) then "rekindled" (ep 9). Yuzurus' memory is fully regained & back story told (Important!) (ep9). Yuri realizes the futility & waste in "fighting" God & has a "temptation of Christ" moment (ep 12).

      It is during these events Yuzuru & Kanade "connect" & later conspire with two others to help Battlefront members gain fulfillment and leave the scene. One they succeed with is one of the more endearing characters of the show, Yui, a girl who had been paralyzed when alive & wanting to accomplish much. (Along with her slightly "gothed" attire, she sports a set of little bat wings in the small of her back and a spearpoint tail. Took me awhile to notice. Makes one wonder who she's working for. My guess it's an insider joke.) The ending of this characters' last scene (ep 10) is poignant & touching to say the least.

      Many others, (Including the afore mentioned rock band.), partly on Yuris' suggestion & realizing the pointlessness of resisting God, life, & ultimatly, themselves, take their leave en masse (ep 12).  The departures of most of the "principle fighters" of the battlefront take place between eps 12 & 13 & thus are not seen.

      The anti-climactic 13th episode is a masterpiece of a heartbreaker that I guarantee at the end will .....TEAR..... YOU..... UP.  Aptly titled: Graduation, the three principal characters & two others (Hinata & Naoi), hold a do it yourself high school grad ceremony as cloture & say their goodbyes. (I hope I'm as joyful & matter of fact as Yuri & Hinata when it's my time to meet the Lord.) See this episode past the powerful credits ending for FULL IMPACT. You have been warned.

      "Let's meet again somewhere."

      "See ya, buddy!"

                                                Article copyright © 2010 Jay Agan

Angel Beats article: Angel Beats Redux here.

Angel Beats article: Episode 4.5 here.

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DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.