2012 & Third Impact: This Time For Sure!

Pull the shade, draw the curtains .....

                                  2012 & Third Impact: This Time For Sure!

                                                                 by

                                                                     Jay Agan

      October 21 has come & gone & it looks as if Harold Camping is wrong again (He has since retired & now says no one can know the time .....). No rapture. No armageddon. No world destruction.

      And for us Evangelion fans, no Third Impact! As for me, good!

      But wait! There is 2012. When the Mayan calender ends. Even though there are no indications that something would happen there has been much speculation about ..... THE END (Roll credits.). It's all bullcrap but then again what a better time for Third Impact to happen.

      So, when the ball drops on New Years' & "Guy Lombardo" strikes up the band (Yeah, I know, the end is actually supposed to be on 12-12-12. You can't be too careful though.), be on the lookout for any hovering, blue haired, Japanese albino schoolgirls in the vicinity. Do whatever you can to avoid physical contact. Fight, run, hide, whatever. Just don't let her get close enough to touch you. You may not like what will happen if you do. That's my advice to you, take it or leave it.

      So there .....

      OK, so much for that. I can only hope somebody takes this warning to heart. I can only do so much to .....

      Awww ..... Nooo! Not you ..... AGAIN?!. It's not even Thanksgiving let alone New Years'. Why are you always picking on ME?! We've been through this ..... how many times already? Twice. Yeah, two times before & both times I've rejected Instrumentality & came back. The last time what was left of me dribbled under the front door & I rematerialized outside my apartment. BUTT NEKKID! Have you any idea how embarrassing that is? (Good thing the door was unlocked.) Come to think of it I don't think you would .....

      Look ..... kid. I don't want Instrumentality. Really, I don't. I don't wanna be one with the greater "whatever". I don't care to be joined to the collective conciousness of the oversoul. I'm not into that communal thing. I'm also not into that fetishy schoolgirl look you seem to effect ..... & .....

      Never you mind what I'm into! That's not the point! The point is I don't wanna go! I like it here. I like being here. And I like me just the way I am. It may be lonely & "painful" but that's the way it is. I can take it.

      Now I know I can't outrun you, so I'm just gonna step right here in this here bath tub (Plug's in? Good!) & pretend you're not here. I figure if I reject Instrumentality beforehand, I won't have to go through the krap of "transcendance" again.

      Let's see now ..... I'm in my happy place ..... I'm in my happy place ..... my happy place ..... happy place ..... happy place ..... happy ..... happy ..... happy ..... Aw darn it! ..... BLOOOOOSH!

      burble ..... burble .....

      LCL ..... Crisp & clean ..... no caffiene. Never had it. Never will!

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Rapture Bunnies 'r Fun!

Bunnies, lemmings, woodchucks, whatever. C'mon people! Think!

                                                Rapture Bunnies 'r Fun!

                                                                by

                                                                    Jay Agan

      Now many of you may think since May 21 has come & gone, the Harold Camping fiasco is all over with. Not quite. If you recall, his original prediction was for the rapture to happen on that date followed by five months of literal hell on earth with total annihilation October 21st.

      Before having a stroke in June, he revised it saying both the rapture & total destruction would take place on 10-21-11. Really now. How silly can you get? Good question & I have an "answer".

      I was for some time wrapped up in the fundy doomsday mentality. Salvation stopped being central & a preoccupation with THE END (Roll the credits!) took over. While an interest in Biblical prophecy can be fascinating, it can lead to obsession if one is not careful. If you leave your ability of critical thinking behind, taking your focus off Christs' payment in your place, you can end up fearful & off balance.

      There's a little game rapture believers like to play. It's the "What Info Will I Leave Behind For Those LEFT BEHIND © So They Can Endure The Tribulation Game."

       I've seen it played more than once (A great place for all sorts of end times hijinks is the Raptureready web site. Take a look. They're a hoot!). This is where you make up a list of materials/info, gather 'em up, cache it & leave an envelope "addressed" to your unsaved loved ones labeled : "To be opened in the event of my disappearance/rapture." In it are instructions of where the info is at, how to read it, get saved, & resist the "anti-Christ". I even participated once while in divinity school (A failed experience. Not being a "people person" I was not cut out to be a minister. I've little patience with weaklings blaming Satan for all their troubles.)

      There we were in class. Everyone coming up with all sorts of titles, papers, tapes on how to endure the coming tribulation. All bright eyed, beaming on how they were going to see that their kith & kin were to be secure after they were gone. Yes sir, no one was going to accuse them of  not helping out.

      As the class discussed this, I couldn't help noticing the absolute DEARTH of anything of  practical physical survival value. You know, food supplies, gear, skills, etc. While spiritual fortification is of utmost importance, there is no sense in being starving & defensless.

      As they went full bore speculating on how their friends & relatives would weather the coming hell on earth, I committed what, to them could be charitably referred to as "the mother of all faux pas".

      "What you have for them infowise is all well & good but ..... ," looking about the room, "..... don't you think they might find a .38 & a box of ammo to be useful too?"

      Not meaning to take the Lords' name in vain but ..... OH ..... MY ..... GOD!

      You would have thought I commited some UNSPEAKABLE blaspemey! Oh the howling! ..... the wailing! ..... THE GNASHING OF TEETH! How dare I even suggest the possibility of the use of violence to survive! Didn't I know of the futility of resistance in the face of ultimate evil? Wasn't relying on your ability & resources an expression of a lack of faith in God? Needless to say there were also a lot of ad homonym "remarks" toward me & what a negative type I was.

      So heavenly minded & no earthly good.

      For my amusement, I actually read the Left Behind series of books. The attraction for me was, as I intially leafed through the pages, I noticed the protagonists would put up a fight of some kind. Even shooting back! This was quite a departure from end times stories in the past wherein the "good guys" would wait passively to get joyously martyred. This bunch would throw down when they had to. I liked that. There wasn't much else to like. Tim LaHayes' ramblings through misread scripture, angels doing all but co-piloting planes, badly done dystopian sci-fi ..... topped off with a very disappointing depiction of Jesus as a "mechanistic" entity spouting King James-like prose. Made me want to root for Carpathia!

      As an aside, it was during my studies at this school the Carter/Ford presidential election took place. The students seemingly voted en-masse for Carter. I took a lot of crap from them over my choice, Lester Maddox (I used to vote third party up til Bush/Dukakis.). They thought it was quite funny & pathetic & boy, did they ever let me know it! I told them they would regret their vote later. They laughed & said Carter was "one of us". Over a year later, they finally figured Carter was "one of those". In the words of Herb Philbrick: "A born again turkey is still a turkey."

Article copyright © 9-29-2011 Jay Agan

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Third Impact On The Way October 21!



Sorry Evangelion fans. THE END ain't gonna happen this way!


                                Third Impact On The Way October 21

                                                            by

                                                                Jay Agan

      OK. So Harold Camping didn't get it quite right for May 21. Nobody vanished "in the twinkling of an eye" & nothing more than the usual chaos, murder, & mayhem has ocurred since. Mr. Camping says a "spiritual" judgement has been made by God & the actual rapture's gonna take place October 21 along with the destruction of the world. More than likely, nothing's gonna happen then either, & as it will be October, yours truely is probably gonna be watching old black 'n white horror flicks then, howsomever .....

      When 10-21 or therabouts rolls around & you start to hear Komm Susser Tod (Come Sweet Death) playing in the background. ..... Run!

      Run! Run like you've never run before in your entire life. Run til your heart stops. Run til you can run no more & ..... Keep running.

      While it may be true that no one gets away from Lillith-Rei, it doesn't hurt to try. Yes, she may "know" the desires of everyones' heart making resistance futile (In my case she'd appear as a girlfriend from LONG ago who I should NOT have broken up with.). Give it a go anyway.

      Don't say I didn't warn you. You're on your own.

      Well, no one can accuse me of not tipping 'em off. It's every man for himself & I've got a new pair of track shoes. Yessir! No "liquid nirvanna" for me! I'm ready to ..... Huh? ..... Well hi hon! I haven't seen you in ..... Wait a minute! You're not her! YOU'RE NOT HER! No way you're gonna get me! It'll be a cold day in ..... What the!? .....How'd you get ahead a' me! ..... YIKE! .....Splat! ..... burble ..... burble .....

      LCL. Wotta you got that sticks or squeaks?

Article copyright © 9-20-2011 Jay Agan

Neon Genesis Evangelion: OOOOO! Goodies In The Mail! here.

End of Evangelion: This Is (Really) Disturbing here.

Pastor Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Apocalypse here.

On the Rapture, Third Impact, Armageddon & All That here.

Expert Predicts Third Impact to Hit May 21! here.

Evangelion 2.0: I Can (Not) Get Into This here.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.

"Expert" Predicts Third Impact To Hit May 21!



Now if LCL was made out of THIS .....

                 Late Breaking News: "Expert" Predicts Third Impact To Hit May 21

                                                              by

                                                                 Jay Agan

      Well not quite. Harold Camping of Family Radio claims to have calculated the exact time & date of the end of the world. His calculations indicate May 21, 2011 to be exactly 7000 years after the Great Flood. Since 2nd Peter, chapt. 3, verse 8 states “one day with the Lord as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day,”  and as God gave the world a seven day warning period before the Great Flood, he figures "Judgement Day", will fall on that date.

      While I think Mr. Camping is full of blueberry whack muffins (He's been wrong several times before.), I feel a warning to be in order: When May 21 rolls around, be sure to steer clear of any blue haired, red eyed, female adolescents who may be "hovering" about. The individuality you save may be your own! Evangelion fans know whereof whom I speak.

      To coin a phrase uttered by Charlton Heston in Soylent Green: "LCL ..... is ..... people!"

      You have been warned. That is all.

      Whew! Well, I've done my bit. When it comes time for the implementation of the Human Instrumentality Pro-ject, they better keep that wierd Ayanami kid away from me. I have no want or desire to be converted into so many ounces of Log Cabin. I really don't need ..... What the ..... ! Hey kid! You really got some NERV comin' here! Why I oughta ..... Whoa! Wait a sec! Your'e ..... No way! Get back! No! ..... Go away! ..... No! ..... No! ..... Aaaiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee! ..... SPLASH! ..... burble ..... burble .....

                                               L ..... C ..... L
                                               That's the name,
                                               Flush your cares 'n troubles,
                                               Down the drain.
                                               L ..... C .....Llllllll .....

                            This dire warning copyright © 5-5-2011 Jay Agan

Link to later article on same subject here.

Evangelion non-review here.

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DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.