THAT'S Tonto? ... You're Kidding ... ... ... Right?

Depp tries to put the chemo in kemo sabe. This is sad.
Just because you can cosplay doesn't mean you should.

THAT'S Tonto? ... You're Kidding ... ... ... Right?


I like a good joke & all but ... Come on! THAT'S Tonto? You sure? More like Freako!

"Look Clayton! Those two dipwads are trying to pass them
selves off as us!" "Yeah Jay, it's pretty sad what some people
'll do for attention. By the way, just WHAT does kemo sabe
mean?" "You DON'T want to know ... kemo sabe." 

Now really! That orc THING looks more like something out of that abortion Peter Jackson has been passing off as Lord of the Rings. Tonto? Who you people tryin' to kid?

Shoot! I'm OFFENDED! ... And I'm racist! This is gonna make the Klinton Spilsbury flick look good. And folks wonder why I don't go to the movies anymore ...

By the way ... Someone should tell Armie Hammer that good "stage names" AREN'T found on boxes of baking soda.


Bill Cosbys' reminiscences of THE LONE RANGER here.

Go to Jays Tee Vee blog main page here.

The Lovely Bones: Of Kreeps & Killings

Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) confronts her destiny in
The Lovely Bones. Photo credit: Film 4, WingNut Films,
Dreamworks SKG

                                     The Lovely Bones: Of Kreeps & Killings

                                                                 by

                                                                    Jay Agan

      I usually try to stay away from films like this. Yanking away at the heartstrings, disorienting, & putting your mind off in all directions. Where to begin .....

      The Lovely Bones is the story of 14 year old Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) whose life is cut short by neighbor George Harvey (Disturbingly played by Stanley Tucci). As she has some emotional/spiritual baggage to unload, she is "stuck" in an "in-between" before passing on to Heaven. As she constructs her own little fantasy world she keeps an eye on her family & tabs on her killer.

      While in this "purgatory" accompanied by "Holly Go Lightly"/Denise Ang (Nikki SooHoo), events surrounding her murder play out. Her family falls slowly apart & gets back together. Her sister, Lindsey (Rose McIver), suspecting the creep neighbor, conducts her own investigation. And Mr. Creepy, well he .....

      Turns out Mr. Harvey is a serial killer who's been at it almost 13 years. Moving from one town to the next he's run up a score of nine. As the exhilaration of Susies' hit wears off, he plans to add another tic mark. This time Lindsey, who he notices has been keeping an eye on him. Therein hangs the story.

      I've found the movie to be better than Alice Sebolds' book. The film is basically the same but without the long passages of Susies' introspection thus really moving the story along.

      There are three problems I have with this flick. Not as much film time is spent in the afterlife as I'd like. Perhaps Mr. Jackson didn't want an overload of SPFX as in his Lord of the Rings or King Kong. (I think Mr. Jackson redeemed himself from these two abominations with this film.) Why did sick boy keep the body so long? The book had him getting it to the sinkhole as soon as he could. Sure it was in a safe but you'd think the smell would still permeate the house. Even though he was being spied on, wouldn't killing off a member of a previous victims' family be a little suspicious looking? I think the police call it a ..... clue.

      As it is, everything turns out all right in the end. Even for Susie. Everything, that is, except for George "Norman Bates" Harvey.

      In spite of this being a good film I still dislike it. The movie is an emotional roller coaster sending the emotions every which way. I really don't like such mind manipulation at all. I guess I'll still be keeping this one in my collection though. Why? I'm not gonna tell ya!

      Excuse me. I have something in my eye.

      "Nobody notices when we leave. I mean ..... the moment when we really choose to go. At best ..... you might feel ..... a whisper ..... or ..... the wave of a whisper ..... undulating down.

      "My name is Salmon. Like the fish. First name Susie.

      "I was 14 years old when I was murdered on December 6, 1973.

      "I was here for a moment ..... & then I was gone.

      "I wish you all ..... a long & happy life."

                                                Article copyright © 2-6-2011 Jay Agan

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