Full Metal Alchemist: A Reasessment

Alphonse, Courage the cowardly dog, Eagle the not so chicken chicken and
 Edward take a rest by the yellowbrick road on their way to the Emerald City.
Just kidding.

Full Metal Alchemist: A Reasessment


For years I've been avoiding this one. I now find I may have made a mistake.

I usually don't go in for "magic" anime. Yeah, God don't like the occult and I never did care for magic being used as a shortcut/plot device/crutch.

You know the drill:

"So wadaya' make of it doc?"

"Magic!"

"Say What!?"

And the story/plot goes merrily on its' way leaving me ticked off about plot holes and scriptwriter laziness.

And what's up with that symbol? Kinda like Blue Oyster Cults'.

Well, I was downtown in the bustling metropolis of Delaware, Ohio the other day when I decided to stop at Gameplay. Not into vid games, I usually go there to check out their DVD movie rack. There I found the first four episode disc to Full Metal Alchemist.

Folks had been telling me for the longest time to check it out and hey, $3.99 used? OK!

I learned my lesson from Puella Magi Madoka Magica (Oh! It really ISN'T Sailor Moon! Now if Aniplex U.S.A. would market it right and put it in a box set instead of three episode singles at thirty plus bucks a pop, I'd get it in a New Jersey minute.).

The story is about the Elric brothers, Darwin and Dudley ... er, uh ... Edward and Alphonse (After the colossal boner that got them in their predicament and on their journey, you'd call them that too!) and their quest to find Alchemys' fabled "Philosophers' Stone" to correct the results of aforementioned misadventure.

From what I've seen so far, the "Dragon Ball Z" and "Sailor Moon" aren't overplayed. It was the "hook" that got me. The "laws" of reciprocity and equivalent exchange are at the forefront from the start. Being something of a Randroid, that appeals to me.

Shoot. If someone told me this was a more action oriented Spice and Wolf of sorts, I'd have got it long ago.

I do wonder if they go into the principle of entropy later. Where something may not be worth the price you're paying. Examples: Physically, a DVD only costs 35-40 cents to make yet you pay many times that (The content jacks the price up.). Or, no matter how much your paycheck, you're never going to be able to buy back even one second of the time you spent at work.

As it is, I'm going to get this one ...


Wikipedia articles on Full Metal Alchemist here and here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here. If there's a buncha' articles under this one, you're already there.

Another Wot Coulda Been Anime

George Barrows as the beast of Revelation strikes
in Robot Monster. 1953 Photo credit: Astor Pictures

                                         Another Wot Coulda Been Anime

                                                                 by

                                                                     Jay Agan

     The last family on Earth fights a desperate struggle for survival against an alien "horde" composed of a single invader. Hilarity ensues when the Ro-Man turns out to be George Barrows wearing a gorilla suit & space helmet! Name of the film: Robot Monster! A Phil Tucker masterpiece guaranteed to bring on the laughs. The reviews it got back in 1953 alledgedly drove Tucker to attempt suicide. Just watching it may get you to thinking the same. Fer instance:

     Familiar stock footage from One Million BC, Flight to Mars & other oldies to pad it out.

     An epic "battle" scene straight out of DBZ (Just kidding!), where the heroine is obviously giggling over her perilous predicament.

     Atrocious philosiphizing about how "must" & "cannot" be existentially reconciled. Think of all the screwy pop philosophy/dialogue that comes up in so many anime. ("People die when they get killed." How profound!)

     A "near rape" scene that has you going ..... "What the ..... ?"

     Special effects consisting of flashes (Uh, oh ..... "The Pokemon Effect"!), electrical buzzes, negative exposure photography, & lots & lots of ..... BUBBLES!

     Maybe they could have the Sailor Moon & Dragonball folks collaborate on this one.

     Most critics & discriminating viewers were really down on this one when it was released. While the incredible cheesiness & under the top quality are more than obvious, I cannot help but wonder (Spoiler ahead!): It turns out in the end it was only a kids' fever dream. A fellow on the Classic Horror Film board once remarked about this film on how the "production values" of a lot of his dreams/nightmares were pretty sparse. Same for me. It could be the ultra schlockiness of this flick was intentional & nobody got the "joke". Instead it's on us.

     By the way. The composer of the "opressive" music for this film is Elmer Bernstein. I find it hard to believe this is the same guy who wrote the compositions for DeMilles' The Ten Commandments. If so, a classic case of "from the depths to the heights."

     "You can not escape me ..... Hu-man! ..... Very well ..... I will recalculate ..... Your death will be In-De-Scri-BABLE! Fool ..... hu-mans! There is no escape!"

Robot Monster trailer & commentary here.

Hell & High Water: A Movie Wot Coulda Been Anime here.

Go to Main Page here.

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                                                Article copyright © 2-3-2011 Jay Agan

Sonny Gave It Strait

                                                         Sonny Gave It Strait

                                                                        by

                                                                           Jay Agan

     Sometime in Autumn, 2003. I'm out on the lot bringing in shopping carts at a place that shall remain nameless. Unlike most of my fellow employees, I actually liked getting karts all day. I'm outside, getting some exercise, & best of all, am away from the public (God bless 'em. Grrrrr!). Wheeling another load in, I noticed a Hummer pulling in. The earlier, discontinued, large model, glossy black, with Dragonball Z characters painted on. Huh? Some otaku with more money than brains? Had to check this out.

     Though I recognized the images (Goku, Krillin, etc.) on the vehicle, I'm no fan of that particular anime. I'd seen bits & pieces of that loud, garish, repetitive show while channel surfing. I actually had seen a few whole episodes of the original Dragonball & found them quite funny. But DBZ? Ugh! I recollect one fellow commenting there were 350+ episodes & taking out the flashbacks/repeats you'd have about 75. Simple intros/faceoffs would take more than one ep before a fight would start. Shoot! Even Pokemon's more involved plotwise.

     As two guys pile out, I notice some kids gathering round. Turns out to be a promotional for the shows' trading card game & one of the guys is Sonny Strait, voice of Krillin & other characters in the English dubs. Feeling snarky, I try to needle him.

     "Hate the show, it hurts my eyes."

     He patiently explains the effect the creators wanted was the basic five color scheme used in comics and funny papers.

     "What's the show about? All I see are a bunch of costumed goons beating each other up."

     "That's exactly what the show is about!" Pointing in the air with a flourish, smile on his face, not rattled at all.

     Not getting the reaction I wanted, (No snobbery or pretentiousness. Dang!), I turned back to retrieving karts. "Well, it could be worse. It could be Sailor Moon."

     Only a chuckle in reply. Years down the road, someone commented he probably got a lot of crap from "fans" and knew how to handle it. I guess so!

     A half hour later, I spot Mr. Strait in the stores' cafeteria. Feeling more civilized, I question him on the voice acting field & he graciously answered my inquiries. The guy has class.

     This was one of several instances that led me to pursue a career in the field myself, (A story{s} for maybe later.) & I won't forget it.

                                                   Article copyright © Jay Agan

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