DUCKZILLA!

DUCKZILLA! Surging up from the depths of the sea on a tidal wave of terror!

DUCKZILLA!


"The arrogance of man is thinking nature is in our control and not the other way around."- Ken Watanabe as Dr. Ishiro Serizawa in, Godzilla (Warner Bros./Legendary Pictures, 2014).

No more is this brought home to me than when I'm at work and I see the ducks swimming in the fountain out front.

Stupid ducks.

Just sayin' ...

A Few Things Godzilla here.

The New Godzilla? Forget it! here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here. If there's a buncha' articles under this 'un, yer already there.

Just a Few Things Godzilla

'Bout fell outta' my chair when I first saw this. Would have laughed even more
if it wasn't so dang true. For lotsa' things Godzilla, go to Armand Vaquers' blog
Armands' Rancho Del Cielo. That's where I got this 'un.

Just a Few Things Godzilla


Was in Wal-Mart yesterday. Seems someone is trying to cash in on Legendarys' recent Godzilla release by issuing Godzilla King of the Monsters on disc.

Saw it on the shelf and examined. No company logo/label. My guess is it probably ISN'T the Criterion Collection release. THEY WOULD LET YOU KNOW it's from them. They also wouldn't say it's a 1966 release of an American 'redo' of a 1964 original ... Right on the box. Seems to be ahead about ten years. Doubly laughable when you notice the official copyright statement just below saying the original is copyrighted by Toho from 1954.

As stated in an earlier post, I'm not gonna' take in Legendarys' Godzilla flick. If I'm paying for a movie ticket, I want my moneys' worth. Less than ten minutes of the "Big G" out of 123 minutes just ain't worth it to me.

Here's a lobby poster of the original Japanese release:

This graphic is much bigger than it appears. Right click and open in new tab.

Armands Rancho del Cielo blog here.

Wikipedia article on Gojira, the original 1954 Japanese release here.

Wikipedia article on the 1956 American re-edit release, Godzilla King of the Monsters here. Starring Steve Martin as Raymond Burr ... uh ... Or is it the other way around?


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here. It there's a buncha' articles under this 'un, yer already there ...

The New Godzilla? Forget It!

WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

The New Godzilla? Forget It!

Guess I won't be seeing the new Godzilla flick after all. Looked at a thread on the Classic Horror Film Board and that was warning enough. I go to CHFB as I find what those "monsterkids" say to be  more reliable than say, some reviewer who goes on and on about the stuff he reads into a movie while at the same time really says nothing about the film itself.

Complaints about the films' unevenness, plot holes, cut aways and defects abounded. Those could be debated and were but the main thing that dissuaded me from going was it being stated that there isn't enough of the title "character" in the film ...

Maybe 7 to 8 minutes worth.

Only about 7 or 8 minutes of "face time" ... in a 123 minute movie? Oh c'mon! If that's the case then forget it.

After ALL those months of hype, only a few minutes of the big guy?

What did the ads say?

GODZILLA!

What did the posters say?

GODZILLA!

What did Gareth Edwards say?

GODZILLA!

What did Warners and Legendary Pictures say?

GODZILLA!

WHAT DID THE HYPE(!) WITH A CAPITAL HYPE(!) SAY!?

GOD - FREAKIN' - ZILLAAAAAAAA BABY!!!!!!

What does the actual flick have?

... godzilla ...

Lotsa' sizzle with only a bite of steak at the end of the line.

Naw! I'm saving my dough.

Just Sayin' ...

The Godzilla I know and loathe.

Classic Horror Film Board Godzilla 2014 thread here.

Classic Horror Film Board main page here.

Wikipedia article on the 2014 Godzilla flick here.

Wikipedia article on the original 1954 Godzilla film here.

Armands' Rancho del Cielo blog here. If you want lotsa' things Godzilla, this is the place!


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here. If there's a buncha' articles under this 'un, yer already there.

Official Seal of the United States Democratic Party

Kinda' looks like Harry Reid doesn't it?

Official Seal of the United States Democratic Party

Pretty much says it all. Parasitic bloodsuckers, the lot of 'em!

Grabbed this off of Armand Vaquers' Rancho del Cielo blog, a most interesting web site. Mr. Vaquer is a super Godzilla/Kaiju fan and self appointed ambassador/tourist bureau for Japan. Check his blog out!

WARNING! If you are somewhat to the left of left, faint of heart or very short, DO NOT go to this web site.

Proceed to Amands' Rancho del Cielo here.


Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.

Interesting Search Words #19

Interesting Search Words #19

Getting there! The almost twentieth installment of a series of articles that practically write themselves. It's all because of you, the weirdos ... er ... uh ... the readers who are led to this humble blog with the search words you enter on Google, etc. The hits just keep on comin'!

1. evangelion vs godzilla - Gainax & Toho! Yeah! I'd definitely see that un'.

Git im' Asuka! Just like her to attack before Rei & the whiner show up.
Credit: Metal Dragon Kiryu

2. haruhi suzumiya sit on kyon - Oooooh! You mean SIT on Kyon ... Yeah ... She does that too.

Kyon contemplates "pretty poison".

3. star worse - It's not that I hate the franchise.  Actually I don't. It's only that I got burned out on it early on. Saw the first in '77 sixteen times in the theater. The second seven times. After that, I lost interest.  Saw the third one several years later on cable & only a small part at that. If you like it, fine. Whatever floats yer boat.

"English m----------r! ... Do you speak it!?"
"I am fluent in over six million forms of communication &
can readily ---" ......................................... BANG!

3. evangelion as the three stooges - Soitny'!

Hikari Horaki looks on disaprovingly as Kensuke "Larry" Aida,
Toji "Moe" Suzuhara, & Shinji "Curly" Ikari cut up in class.

4. haruhi suzumiya is God - Well ... yes! Why do people feel the need to state the obvious?

I thought Lain Iwakura was the lessor god of the net ...

5. cthulhu burger - Well ... Now we know what's in that "pink slime" stuff.

6. rei ayanami mad - Would a slight frown do?

"Rapture" Rei Ayanami. Sugar coated death.
12-21-12: When you see this, you'll krap bricks!

7. mlp haruhi - Blasphemy! ... Sacrilege! ...

This is just ... so ... wrong ...

Well, there ya have it. Seez ya next time ...

Godzilla, Gamera, What the Heck do I Know!? here.

The End of Evangelion This Is (Really) Disturbing here.

Neon Genesis Evangelion Oooo! Goodies In the Mail! here.

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya Pts 1, 2, 3

Star Wars Star Worn Out here.

Call of Cthulhu: One Really Worth Watching here.

How ... How DARE He ...! The Offending of Haruhi Suzumiya (A non-critique of  My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic) here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee main page here.

Interesting Search Words #12

Interesting Search Words #12

The folks out there are getting weirder 'n weirder. More strange requests from even stranger people.

1. godzilla hentai - I can only imagine what that'd be like. And I don't want to!

2. applejack is dark matter - All depends on which website you go to.

An "animorph" of the Applejack character from My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.
As stated in a previous article: If the show was more like this, I just might watch it!

3. william shatner nudes - Another thing I don't want to talk about.

4. william shatner demotivational - I think the above is pretty much that.

5. rei if someone asks if you are god you say yes - Uh! ..... Yes! ..... No! ..... Uh! ..... I mean ..... RUN AWAY! ..... Yikes! ..... Splat! ..... burble, burble .....

6. azumanga daioh girls older - Well, here's one of Chiyo-chan at least.

The pigtails say Chiyo. The glasses say Yomi. Seems as if
Tomo never "grew up". Why am I not surprised?

7. creepy dark anime hideout - In the words of one of Mitt Romneys' heroes: "This is the place!"

8. hentai nazi - When being a regular nazi just isn't enough.

Achtung! Das ist genugh! Zere are no hentai nazis here. You vill move along.

9. ayumu life - Is that an Amway kind of thing?

Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga: She's a state of mind.

Past Interesting Search Word articles: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

Darn ..... That ..... Bill!

One of the entrees typical of Bono Pizza.
Photo: Columbus Crave/Columbus Alive

                                 
Disclaimer: Parts of the following article are not meant to be condemnatory rants or whines. It's  all for entertainment purposes only.

                                              Darn ..... That ..... Bill!

      I attended Revoluticon for the almost express purpose of seeing Weatherly Hardy (Proprietor of Aardvark Tees.) at his booth in the dealers room. The con itself didn't hold much for me, it not being an anime only event. A lot was TV oriented & most of what was movie related I thought kind of dull. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, "Star Trek vs Star Wars"? Meh .....

      Getting to the dealers room, I find Mr. Hardy & his son Noel at the Aardvark Tees tables tucked away in one of the large rooms' corners. There we conversed almost two hours about politics (We're both more or less "small L" libertarians.), & media related topics. As five o'clock was nearing, I had to embark for the Godzilla seminar on the 6th floor.

      The seminar was on the original 1954 Japanese language version of the aforementioned film. Somewhat disappointing, I knew more about it than the two panelists (I'm such a nerd!) . I will say they knew more about the other films in the franchise.

      Six o'clock rolls around & it's back to the now shut down dealers room. Weatherly & I pre-planned to go out for pizza. Some weeks before, he had a posting on his blog about the merits of Lenders bagels & other cuisine. I happened to mention the subject of wood fired pizza & where to get it in Columbus.

      Bono Pizza is a "hole in the wall" establishment in the back of The Corner Market (1717 Northwest Blvd. At the corner of Chambers & Northwest Blvd. in front of a Krogers grocery.) the proprietor being a one Bill Yerkes.

      Mr. Yerkes is, to say the least, an interesting sort. Sort of a cross between Strother Martin & Ed Wood Jr. A child of the 50s/60s, he's been all over the world "been there done that ..... twice." A real life Captain Tylor, he joined the Navy & managed to avoid basic training. Managed night clubs for the Navy & owned/operated restaurants literally from Palermo to Podunk.

      Columbus certainly looks different at night. After at least three wrong turns we managed to arrive at Bono Pizza. There we were greeted by Peggy, Bills' "long suffering" wife & sat ourselves down. It didn't take long for Bill to find us.

      "Hi Jay! I see you & your friends are in town for the hentai convention!"

      Kill me ..... Kill me now God ..... Make it quick ..... Painless if possible.

      Bill looks on my interest in anime as more a predilection than a hobby & insists on calling ALL anime hentai. He definitely knows the difference but he'll be dipped if he's going to verbally acknowledge that. He also likes to refer to my large old car as "the pedo-mobile" thus furthering my exasperation (I prefer my women real & of legal age, thank you.). Needless to say both Weatherly & Noel found much amusement in this & were quite audible about it.

      While waiting for our goodies, Bill regaled them with "sea stories" especially about trips between Pensacola & Mobile via Foley, Alabama.

      We, of course, enjoyed our pizzas (Mr. Hardy had nothing but praise & did a nice write-up in a posting on his blog.) & we finished it off with a Belgian waffle. At one point, Weatherly stepped out to make a call, his business covering two other cons (St. Louis & Atlanta.). I didn't think much of this until a couple days later.

      As we departed, I noticed Peg sitting in a chair on the restaraunts' patio watching us intently. Didn't know what to make of that until ..... I noticed a hastily scrawled sign hanging in the drivers side window of my car.

      "HEY KIDS! FREE CANDY! ASK INSIDE!"

      This ..... next to the sidewalk ..... for all the world to see.

      My bowels in a turmoil.

      "What the ..... Herp! ..... D' ..... gack!"

      Noel, who was about to get in the back seat, drivers' side, also saw it & busts up laughing.

      "I don't stinkin' believe this! Holy ..... Weatherly! Take a look at this!"

      He comes around the car & cracks up too. Ah yes ..... sympathy ..... Where is it? Oh yeah ..... in the dictionary ..... between s--t & suicide!

      Back on the patio Peg's clapping & laughing her head off. Bill ..... nowhere to be seen (He was in & out all the time, attending to some cooking pasta.).

      We pile into the car & Noel has to put his five cents worth in:

      "Hi Jay! I'm Chris Hanson. Have a seat!"

      Nothing ..... but ..... abuse.

     
      After a few more wrong turns we got a quick tour of my favorite part of Columbus on High St. The now closed down Zanes' Gun Rack (A story in & of itself.), the gym that used to be the Camelot/Drexel North Theater, The Soldiery (wargames), & The Laughing Ogre (Manga, comics.).

       I drop them off at the Ramada Plaza & do a quick look-see of the con only to find nothing of interest. It was off to the folks to celebrate St. Pats' the next day.

      Monday I get a call from Bill, who, to say the least, was quite pleased with his little joke. It turns out Weatherly had a hand in it. He suggested "free candy" instead of toys on the sign.

      Sigh ..... I've a host of friends. And with friends like these .....

The Aardvarks Plumbline blog here.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

GODZILLA! ..... Has Arrived!

A sorta kinda "demotivational". Got this from Bits & Pieces.

                                                      GODZILLA! ..... Has Arrived!

      Had preordered The Criterion Collections' "redo" of Godzilla/Gojira & it appeared in my mailbox yesterday. From a quick look at both discs it's everything they said about picture/sound quality & more.

      Will be watching the "Americanized" version (Godzilla King of the Monsters) tonight. I'm saving the "original" (Gojira) viewing this weekend with friends. Am so looking forward to that!

Go to Main Page here.

Interesting Search Words #6

Interesting Search Words #6

Oh YES! More "requests" sent in by "readers" out to get graphics & in the vain fulfillment of their little fetishes. Enjoy .....

1. stupid looking protestant - Uh ..... duh! I'm really dumb!

2. godzilla as the catholic church - Trying to put the GOD in Godzilla.

3. kill me baby hentai - Into snuff are we?

4. dark & disturbing cartoons - I think we know what you're looking for.

5. demotivational godzilla - I always thought he was rather motivational. As in ..... RUN!

6. atlas shrugged demotivational - Only if you're an altruist. link

Not sure if Ms Rand had a sense of humor, but I did find this funny. By the
way, I do like Atlas Shrugged. The novel did hint "Galts Gulch" was
self sufficient. Credit: Stephen Notley

7. kill bill azumanga - Talk about your crossovers! Is this from that "horrible fanfic crossover generator" thingie?

8. william shatner pokemon card - I always thought he was a bit animated. Captain Kirk! I choose you! Attack!

9. azumanga lesbian - Oh leave poor Kaorin alone! She's got enough troubles as it is. Besides, it's just a phase she's going through. link

C'mon kid, Get over it. Besides, she's into animals.
Credit: J C Staff

10. evangelion all is right with the world - NO! It's not!

11. neon genesis evangelion nude cosplay - If it's nude, is it cosplay? I mean, where's the "cos"?

12. old yeller gun - Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! It's been over 40 years since I've seen that. Disney, I still hate your guts! YOU STILL SUCK!!! My traumatic experience here.

13. i feel sick evangelion - You too, eh? link

14. hentai from hell - Yes. It is.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

Interesting Search Words #5

      The nice thing about this weekly "column" is that I hardly do any work. People just "send" me material. Here's this weeks goodies wot gotz some people ta dis here blog.

1. rei ayanami hi def - Hi def, low def ..... who cares? Run like heck!

Credit: Shawn Merrow

2. big brown anime rodent - Certainly not ..... Hamtaro!?

3. diamond hypnotized sailor moon - Such a superficial, materialistic kid.

4. anime teen full body template - DIY hentai?

5. azumanga daioh goes bad - Those kids have been known to be the poster children for juvenile delinquency from time to time.

6. hi ya cthulhu - Well hello yourself. This anything like Hello Kitty?

7. GODZILLA+REI+AYANAMI - Oh for the luv a ..... You gotta be kidding me! First third impact ..... & now this! Talk about a double whammy! Might make for one heck of a puddle of LCL.

Shawn Merrow has made a lot of anime related "demotivational posters". Check 'em out here.

Go to Main Page here. 

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

Godzilla/Gojira: I Hate That Creature

Japan is anything but third world. Still thought this was funny.

                                      Godzilla/Gojira: I Hate That Creature

                                                                  by

                                                                      Jay Agan

      Don't get me wrong. I actually love the movie itself. I have the Criterion restoration on pre-order & can't wait for late January to roll around.

      It's that big green bastard I despise.

      Yes, I know. He's supposed to be an allegory/symbol of the arms race, war, consequences of mans' tampering, etc. He later became an enduring figure in later films & the franchise has become quite an institution over the years. As I'm not a huge fan of most of these giant rubber monster flicks I only have the first two (Godzilla/Gojira, Godzilla Raids Again.) & this is how they "speak" to me.

      It's coming.

      Enormous, ponderous, invincible, inevitable.

      Intellectually, you know it's not after you personally. There's no way it could possibly have any knowledge of you & if it did it could probably care less. Mostly raw instinct, it has hardly any self awareness of its own let alone of you. Yet .....

      On a gut level, you know it's after YOU.

      Seeking to utterly destroy YOU.

      Not just to kill you, merely to end your life .....

      But to totally obliterate you. Without a trace.

      Make it as if you had never been.

      Why?

      No reason. It can. That's all.

      Maybe it's the scene where the mother comforts her child about seeing daddy soon as the creature advances. Perhaps the hospital sequences. Or maybe the young women singing the "prayer for peace" (These always choke me up.).

      All I know is I want that oversized crocklegator DEAD! The carcass could supply Japans' luggage needs for a century. I only wish Serizawas' oxygen destroyer to be a little slower acting & more excrutiating. Make that thing scream like a woman & go out like a girl.

      I can't wait for January.

Article copyright © 11-23-2011 Jay Agan

Addendum: Why can't they get NERV to do something about this problem? Mmmmmm ..... better not. Shinji's too wimpy. Asuka might want to date it. And Rei shares too much in common. Best leave it alone.

Oh yeah! Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

A couple of real Godzilla fans here & here.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.

Godzilla, Gamera, What the Heck Do I Know!?

Shoot! I might go see this one!

                               Godzilla, Gamera, What the Heck Do I Know!?

                                                                  by

                                                                     Jay Agan

      Or care. Actually I do ..... some.

      I'm not big on either of those franchises. After the ones made fifties-early sixties, those Japanese giant rubber monster flicks look pretty much the same to me. I have a few english dub, public domain Gamera copies in the Treeline/Millcreek 50 packs.

      So I'm manning a check-out at this mid-west would be Wal Mart (It paid the bills.). A customer comes through & plunks down this multi-movie DVD with three Gamera flicks on it. I make a comment or two about what fun little time wasters they are. She replies in kind & that she grew up on them. Then she makes a statement about both the Godzilla & Gamera franchises being made by the same studio.

      On my mentioning they were made by two different companies (Godzilla/Gojira, Toho. Gamera, Daiei.), She got rather indignant & redeclared her statement. AUDIBLY so.

      Woah!

      As it wasn't a point worth arguing (Or losing ones' job over.) I let it & her slide out the door.

           
      The drawback with working in a place with a pharmacy is you're the target for all sorts of the over/under medicated. Especially if the company shirt is Star Trek red.

      But then, what the heck did I know? I was just a check-out clerk. Part of the backdrop & wearing the uniform of whatever conspiracy the delusional/powerless imagine is keeping them down. Working with the public, you can't help but wonder if the whole world is one big laughing house.



And all this time I thought it was to Haruhi Suzumiya
or Rei Ayanami!

      
      Keep whatever thoughts you have about anything to yourself. Reading about your hobby, or even the credits on the screen could mark your as "different". Beware.

      Got a new hat today ..... Where's the tin foil?

Article copyright © 10-28-2011 Jay Agan

Links to a couple of real Japanese giant rubber monster fans here & here.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.

Godzilla/Gojira. Oh boy! Oh boy! OH BOY!

Big G on the rampage. Credit: Toho Co. Ltd.

                               
                                Godzilla/Gojira. Oh boy! Oh boy! OH BOY!

       It's been announced the original 1954 Godzilla is getting the ole Criterion treatment. This means high quality/high resolution restoration. NOT the kind where every little scratch, burn, cut, splice, hair, whistle, snap, crackle, n' poop comes in with crystal clarity on whatever old public domain print someone dug up from under an outhouse. No, it means the results from the best print obtainable will be presented as audiences saw it when it was first released.

      Not quite in this case. Due to the then gritty conditions at Toho studios back in the early 50s the original release prints had some defects. As I understand it Criterions' treatment will correct that. I am so waiting for this.

      And that's not all! Not only the original film but a second disc will have the version we older westerners grew up with: Godzilla King of the Monsters with Raymond Burr (Where Perry Mason takes the big guy on as a client. NOT!). This pairing has been done already by Classic Media, howsomever, through their contacts, Criterion has managed to obtain a "lavender" (first generation) print of the Burr version! Hopefully this is what is used in the restoration.

      Due out with extra features 1-24-12.

Websites of a couple of real G-fans here & here.

Go to main page here. 

To Grandmothers' House We Go Pt 2

                                    To Grandmothers' House We Go Pt 2

                                                                 by

                                                                    Jay Agan

      Thanksgiving at the grandparents in Elmira, NY was an annual ritual I always looked forward to. TV wise it was great as they had cable bringing in those NYC stations with all the kool movies & cartoons we couldn't see in central Ohio.

      Thanksgiving Day in New York City is known as "Gorilla Thursday". That's because WOR (Now WWOR) ch 9, would show King Kong, Son of Kong, & Mighty Joe Young back to back. WPIX ch 11, would show March of the Wooden Soldiers/Babes In Toyland (Laurel & Hardy) earlier in the week. In later years, WNEW ch 5 (I think.) would counter attack with some Godzilla flicks.

      One "memorable" Thanksgiving became something of a nightmare. I was going to be punished for some bogus infraction (I don't remember what it was, so it had to be bogus!). The punishment: Wash the dishes after the holiday meal. 30+ people! By myself. Dishwashers were an ultra-rare luxury in the 60s. Guess who DIDN'T have one!

      This wouldn't have bothered me so much except for one thing: Ch 5 was airing Creature From the Black Lagoon! Such perfect timing! Home video was nonexistant in the 60s, so you kiddies can stop thinking about how dumb I was for not DVRing it. Howzabout VHS? you ask. Yeah, right. We're talkin' the vacuum tube era, pal!

      There I was. A deprived "dyed in the wool" monster-kid missing out on his first chance of seeing one of the iconic Universal monsters of all time. And happening only a few feet away from where I was slaving away at those stupid dishes. Man! Wotta gyp!

      I eventually got over it ..... maybe.

                                        Article copyright © 3-1-2011 Jay Agan

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article can be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & provide backlink.

Two Ring Circus

Nanako Matsushima finds out that movies are still your best
entertainment. Ringu (Toho Co. Ltd & Kadokawa Shoten 1998)

                                                      Two Ring Circus

                                                                 by

                                                                    Jay Agan

     So, what is it with "Hollywood"? (I'm referring to the mentality. I know a lot of films are not "made" there.) Just what is it that makes these folks take a property & mess with it? We've all seen it before: A best selling book. A great foriegn film/classic film. Something that was wonderful, inspirational, or just dang kool. They take it & make/remake it into a piece of on-screen garbage. Look at what they did to Lord of the Rings, Godzilla, or any original & see the mess they made of it. Krap! Whole & total.

     I can only imagine how these "products" came to be. The book, concept, script, original work goes in one end of the "mill" & out the other. Passed from one to the other, everyone along the line has to put his mark, his stamp on it in order to make it "his". Each one wants to take his/her respective "significant other", point to the screen at a certain part & say, "see baby? This is why this film is 'mine'." It may be his/theirs but it's not one I'd want.

     What are they thinking when they "communicate" with one another? What goes on in these meetings of theirs? What kind of sick demons are rattling inside their skulls as they sodomize a property beyond the point of undeath?

     "Hey! Let's take out/add/change characters!"

     "Let's change the setting & plot!"

     "Why don't we jazz up the concept? See how much of an event we can make of this!"

     "Moderize it! More action & zip!"

     "Y'know? A nude scene or two definitely wouldn't hurt. Yeah! Let's go with that!"

     "We can get (Insert name of latest actor/whore du jour.) for the part. I know he/she's not right for it but audiences love him/her!"

     "Let's ....."

     "Let's appeal to the lowest common denominator!"

     If they were at all honest with themselves, their meetings would start off with:

     "How do we (With a capital F.) this?"

     Take Ringu for instance. I picked it up as a three buck special at Big Lots. I had seen The Ring a few years before & did not like it. Thanks to this Japanese original I like it even less.

     Ringu is a nice little "subdued" supernatural thriller about an urban legend where viewers of an off beat short film are killed off by a curse within a week unless they "pass" the tape on. The U.S. ("Hollywood"!) remake covers the same ground though execrably so.

     Ringu has only about two "vague" death scenes (I guess the babe coming out of the TV induces heart attacks or something.) Most of the film is devoted to tracking down & stopping the curse.

     The Ring? Well ..... The only thing I can write in its favor is they didn't add or take away much in the way of plot but what they did was more than enough to ruin it.

     I can see it now: "Hey guys! I gotta great idea! Let's add a some more deaths & kill a horse!"

     The extra deaths did nothing at all for the story & "broke up" the investigations' progression. As for the horse ..... that was just mean.

     If they wanted to "improve" on RIngu all they had to do IMHO was release it here with an English voice track. As it is, Ringu is the superior film even if I have to "struggle" with subtitles.

     "Hollywood" .....

     By the way ..... If you re-view the tape on the sixth day, do you get a seven day extension?

                                            Article copyright © 2-1-2011 Jay Agan

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Upcoming Animes. Well, Not Really. Part 2

                                         Upcoming Animes. Well, Not Really. Part 2
                                                                         
                                                                       by
                                                                           
                                                                         Jay Agan


  1. The Kaiju of Haruhi Suzumiya (American release title: Haruhi vs Godzilla)- A humungous closed space forms just north of Tokyo, & something other than "blue meanies" is stomping around inside. This, as a result of Haruhi retiring after an extended bout with some bad movies & a peanut butter & anchovy pizza. Itsuke & company have more than their hands full.

  2. In a universe.....threatened by the ultimate evil.....comes the ultimate heroine.

                                           FAN SERVICE IN SPACE!
    
                                          Well. She is ultimate after all.

  3. Nagakohime- He.....was a future world leader.
    
      The Fujiwara sisters..... were part of his entourage.
    
      She.....was the brash tomboy wanting to tag along.
    
      He.....was at first, turned off, then amused.
    
      They.....tried to disuade her.
    
      She.....would not be denied!
    
      Just another dumb romance/harem anime, right?
    
      For those who get the joke, no explanation is needed. For those who don't, crack open a history book.

  4. Easy Rider Kino- After Kino meets up with Wyatt, Billy, & George, she finds one doesn't necessarily need a motorad to take a trip. She also spends more than 3 days/2 nights in the Big Easy.

  5. Curley, Larry, & Moe'- Moe is out of town & his niece stops by for a visit. Can two stooges cope with a sickenly cute little girl whose disposition is nastier than her uncles'? Soitenly! (NOT!) Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!

  6. Paprika Parsley Sage Rosemary & Thyme- Mrs. Tokita? I believe you're trying to seduce me.

  7. Shuffle! Cut! Deal!- Who dealt me this mess?

  8. Heck Girl- "You will never know the joys of Heaven. You will wander through a world of aggravation & whiney annoyance. There to remain for eternity."

  9. Full Metal Panic Attack, Fumufu- Due to budget cuts at Mithril, any damage to the school will be paid for out of Sagaras' own pocket. He will owe way beyond death.
        
  10. Attack of the Killer Cicadas- If you watch anime, you know they're out there. Mostly heard, rarely seen. Watching. Waiting. Massing to strike. Sequel to The Cicada That Ate Kyoto.
                                                    
                                                   Article copyright © Jay Agan             

Upcoming Animes. Well, Not Really. Pt. 1

Upcoming Animes. Well, Not Really. Pt. 3

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