Thoughts On the Evangelion Cast of Characters

Sadisma-chan & Penny Dreadful seem to be missing from this line up.
L to R: Shigeru Aoba, Makoto Hyuga, Maya Ibuki, Ryoji Kaji, Shinji Ikari,
Misato Katsuragi, Ritsuko Akagi, Gendo Ikari, Kozo Fuyutsuki

                                Thoughts On the Evangelion Cast of Characters

                                                                   by

                                                                      Jay Agan


     The purpose of the following article is to inform/encourage any & all considering to view the various renditions of the Evangelion franchise to watch & enjoy. As questions & puzzlement may arise on the viewing of such, it is my hope that this article may clear up any confusion in regard to the subtlties of the shows in question & the personalities/motivations of the characters involved.

"Why me? ... Why me all the time?" : Eric von Zipper

1. Shinji Ikari - Probably the most irritating protagonist in anime (Or any!) history. Whiney, self absorbed, wimpy little git. Makes Holden Caulfield look like Schwarzenegger. Makes Woody Allen look like Woody Allen. Makes me look good. So tough he bites nails ... fingernails. Oh yes, he's also a little perv. He's THAT GUY in THAT SCENE  at the beginning of  End of Evangelion.

English voice actor: Elisha Cook Jr.

Would you buy a used car from this man?

2. Gendo Ikari (nee Rokobungi) - Shinjis' not so devoted father. Bad guy/manipulative mastermind of the franchise. When not getting into bar fights he seeks to engineer a worldwide, mass transcendance to his advantage & attain a godhood of sorts. Oh yeah, & get his wife back.

English voice actor: Raul Julia

"A boys' best friend is his mother.": Norman Bates

3. Yui Ikari - The oft mentioned but little seen wife of Gendo & mother of the whiner. So devoted to her son, she disappeared & became a "giant robot" (Really! No foolin'!)! Loving, caring, altruistic ... Clearly the most dangerous of the bunch.

English voice actress: Jackie Joseph

"I'm the emotional 'black hole' who's going to
suck the very life out of you ... count on it!"

4. Asuka Langley Soryu Shikinami Zeppelin Luger Messerschmitt Oleg Gramblepudding whatever of Ulm. - AKA: Asuka She Wolf of the SS. Half German, half Japanese, ALL AXIS! Was originally rejected for membership by the Gestapo AND the Kempetai due to her excessive mean streak so became an Eva pilot instead. Hobbies include cursing, goosestepping, kicking the whiner around & cursing. Hitler madchen with an attitude.

English voice actress: Roseanne Barr

"You gonna' git tanged!"

5. Rei Ayanami - Queen of emo. Second cousin to Yuki Nagato. A cross-clone of Yui Ikari & Lillith. Sugar coated harbinger of 'death'. The apocalyptic disaster at the end could have easily been avoided if she read lots & LOTS of Ayn Rand. As it is, she only read just enough to get it wrong. It was wonderful she was able to assert herself & be free of Gendo ... But did she have to do it THAT way?

Come 12-21-12 resistance will be futile. Like Aldo Cella, Rei KNOWS what YOU like!

English voice actress: Cher Bono Alman etc.

"Look deeply into mah eyes ... Y'all gittin' spacey ... spacey ..."

6. Aymu "Osaka" Kasuga - Has absolutely nothing to do with the Evangelion franchise. All I know is if she was "chosen" instead of Rei, everyones' preconceptions/plans for Third Impact would have gone RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW! For an interesting little "take" on this click here.

English voice actress: Donna Douglas (Elly May Clampett)

Who's the girl behind those Foster Brooks?

7. Mari Illustrious Makinami - Real name: Mary Marconi. That's right! Neither Japanese OR English, she's an Irish-Italian girl from Upper Saddle River, New Jersey. Highly intelligent with a touch of psycho. Failure to pass requisite psych testing for entry into law enforcement meant she was emminently qualified to become an Eva pilot. Not a total nutjob, she's known to wear a crash helmet from time to time while piloting an Eva unit ... which may explain a lot about the others.

English voice actress: Sarah Palin

"What!?  ... It's over? ... Well it's about time!"

7. Kozo Fuyutsuki - Former professor to Yui & Gendo Ikari, now Gendos' right hand/left brain man. Was going to spill the beans & expose SEELEs' plot to the world but Gendo convinced him otherwise. Just how DID Gendo convince him? Bribe him with a Yui clone?

English voice actor: James Woods

"Let's see ... If I eat the cats instead of buying food
this month, I'll be able to pay the rent ..."

8. Ritsuko Akagi - Mad computer scientist specialising in mad computer science. Brilliant beyond belief. However her superior intelligence didn't prevent her from being used, abused, manipulated & betrayed. She should have taken that offered position at Microsoft when she had the chance.

English voice actress: June Foray

"Oh? ... Really? ... He said that? ... Come here you wicked child!"

9. Naoko Akagi - Mother of Ritsuko Akagi. An even madder computer scientist specialising in ... uh ... yeah. Seemed to be part of the above mentioned manipulation/betrayal. Before entering the Computer Science/Artificial Intelligence field, she was one of the assistant developers of  Dr. Janet Lehmans' Total Transformation Child Behavior Program.

English voice actress: Joan Crawford

Every yaoi fangirls' dream. Excuse me ... I'm getting ill ...

10. Kaworu Nagisa - That boy ain't right! Kreepy! ... Kreeeeeeeeeepy! ... Oh ... so ... Kreepy ...! ... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh ... No one at NERV seems to notice something's 'off' with that guy. You'd think the weird hair, albinism & the fact he's so much prettier than Rei would be dead give-aways.

English voice actor: Peter Lorre

"Hey ... Anybody seen my laptop?"

11. Maya Ibuki - A Kaorin (Azumanga Daioh) -like character harboring secret feelings toward her boss, though we don't find that out until End of Evangelion. Just like Kaorins' situation, the object of Mayas' affections is completely oblivious to it & is totally into cats ... & Gendo ... who happens to be a snake.

English voice actress: Mary Tyler Moore

12. Shigeru Aoba - Tough as nails, cool head under fire, a good man to have at your back ... Unless your position is being overrun by butt nekkid, blue haired, adolescent albinos. Then he just falls apart.

English voice actor: Al Pacino

She's comin' ta get ya, nerd boy!

13. Makoto Hyuga - Harbors feelings for his boss but is a little more open about it. It's a dream/nightmare come true for him in End of Evangelion.

English voice actor: Arnold Stang

"Hoboken!? ... OOOOOOOOO! ... I'm dyyyyyin!'"

14. Pen Pen - I do believe he's the one behind the scenes pulling the strings. He has to be the guy who even SEELE gets their marching orders from. Hides in plain sight. Wouldn't surprise me if he's the one who shot Kaji. The fowellest of the foul (Or is that the other way around?).

English voice actor: Mel Blanc

Smug, self satisfied, so full of himself ... Yeah ... I'd shoot him too ...

15. Ryoji Kaji - Misatos' on again/off again love interest. Triple agent (Maybe quintuple agent if you include the UN & Misato.) juggling various intrigues. Posseses certain info regarding various plots involving transcendance & Third Impact. Also has the low down on Roswell, who shot JFK, & the secret recipe to Coca Cola.

English voice actor: Jack Nicholson

"Yes. It's lonely at the top ... but you eat better."

16. Keel Lorenz - Incredibly ancient/intelligent manipulator of history since Biblical times & head of SEELE. It has been theorized that he might actually be Cain (Abels' brother.) himself. Has his hand on the handle & literally runs the world. Which makes one wonder ... How did a slimey little jerk like Gendo Ikari get so much past him?

English voice actor: "Brother" Theodore Gottlieb

The slogan at the center translates from the German to:
"Born For Fun, Loyal to None."

17. SEELE - While the Birch Society & others of the right wing have been chasing conspiracies, they completely overlooked this bunch. These are the illuminators of the Illuminati. The burgers & builders of the Bilderbergers. The foriegn relatives of the Council On Foriegn Relations. Since the beginning of time, they have shaped history & mankind into the cul-de-sac it's now in. In a desperate attempt to 'complete' what they think is a stagnate humanity, it is their hope of implementing an apocalyptic event culminating in a transcendence of all humanity into a single spirit entity. Scientology? Who needs it ...

English voice actors: Harry Ritz, Al Ritz, Jimmy Ritz, Moe Howard, Curly Howard, Shemp Howard, Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Weatherly Hardy, Andy Hardy, Larry Fine.

My favorite Evangelion character. Unfortunately, she's a Sailor Moon fan.
"In the name of NERV ... I will punish you!"

18. Misato Katsuragi - My favorite character of the whole bunch. Strong, capable, more than competant. Always knows what's going on & what to do when the need arises ... Especially when she knows what's going on.

English voice actress: Demi Moore


     It is my fervent hope that this article has not only entertained but also informed & given profound insight into such a landmark anime franchise as Evangelion. In future I will attempt to review & inform one & all on other anime properties thus giving to afficionados of such, a richer appreciation of our great preoccupation that is the world of anime fandom. Thank you one & all.

Article (only) copyright © 8-24-2012 Jay Agan


Wikipedia Evangelion franchise article here.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: OOOOO! Goodies In The Mail here.

End of Evangelion: This Is (Really) Disturbing here.

Azumanga Daioh: Too Much Cute here.

Aardvarks' Plumbline blog here.

Aardvark Tees here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here.


This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.

Disclaimer: The inclusion of the names of various actors/actresses are for the purposes of entertainment only. They were included as a lampoon of the Evangelion characters' personas & have not in any way actually done voice work for said characters. Please take this in the spirit humor/satire for which it was intended.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

Interesting Search Words #14

                                     
                                      Interesting Search Words #14

      Hentai & ponies ..... You'd think people would have better things to do.

1. haruhi suzumiya pony - Mr. Hardy ..... puh-leeze!

2. doug evangelion - I have the series. I've seen Death and Rebirth & End of Evangelion a number of times. I even have the first two "rebuild" flicks. I don't recall anyone named Doug in them. Who/what is he? The 19th angel? Beware of Doug.

Hey! Anybody seen that Doug guy?

3. real anime girls - If they were real they wouldn't be anime.

4. hentai because real girls are doing it wrong - Obviously you don't know the right girls. For that matter, do you know ANY girls?

5. mlp haruhi - Darn it Weatherly! CUT IT OUT!

Again, if the show was more like this ..... MLP "animorphs".
L-R: Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie. Credit: Glanco Justicar

6. neon genesis evangelion drink - Don't drink UCC coffee! It's got LCL in it! Blech!

7. usda dingbats - May they all be devoured by pink slime.

8. cross eyed hentai - You look at it long enough ......

9. haruhis alien babies - They're NOT ponies!

Typical brony attitude .....

10. john birch society logo - Will this do?

If conspiracy's afoot, the Birchers will find it out.

How ..... How Dare He! The Offending of Haruhi Suzumiya here.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: OOOOO! Goodies In the Mail here.

End of Evangelion: This Is (Really) Disturbing here.

My Little PWNY here.

The article on another blog that started the My Little Pony nonsense on this blog here.

That 'nother blog here.

Go to Main Page here.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: OOOOO! Goodies In The Mail!

Here're most of the protagonists (Plus a couple of "villains".) in the series &
a "friend". Clockwise: Unit 01, Asuka Langley Soryu, Gendo Ikari, Ritsuko
Akagi, Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari, & Misato Katsuragi. Credit: Gainax

                      Neon Genesis Evangelion: OOOOO! Goodies In The Mail!

                                                                 by

                                                                    Jay Agan

      I up n' dun' it. After You Tubing End of Evangelion I broke down & sent out to Amazon for the movie, the series (Platinum edition. With the six "directors cut" episodes.), & Death and Rebirth ..... USED. Have no intention of spending too much on ANYTHING  let alone some discs. Was able to get End & the series at about half, & spent less than ten bucks on D & R (Good thing too. If you have the series & End, you don't need D&R.)

      Was not originally hot on the franchise as I shy away from "giant robot" stuff (Overdone & dumb.) & I had a misconception about the "good guys" & their ultimate goal. Turns out the vast majority are duped into thinking they're saving mankind from an ill defined supernatural/ extraterrestrial menace all the while they're being used to bring about the end of all human life. The "do-gooders" orchestrating this think they're doing everyone a favor! As there have been some things in my life gone awry because of the good intentions of others I found the premise of the series intrigueing. Then there's the rest of the stuff:

1. Take what is seemingly a giant robot slug fest.

2. Add theological trappings from the Book of Revelation, the Gnostic hereseys, & the Cabbalah.

3. Throw in a conspiratorial group of insiders (A Bilderberg/CFR/Illuminati on crack.) literally hell bent on "saving" you wether you want it or not (I ran with a lot of conspiracy chasing groups in my younger days.).

4. Bring in a VERY reluctant hero, a psycho "nazi" chick, & a creepy yet sympathetic semi-clone with a more than subdued personality.

5. Also a dad who's an anti Ward Cleaver, a tech scientist who is much more involved than she lets on & a more than capable female military officer who also doubles as "the beer fairy".

      Toss the above in together with all the color, action, comedy(?), chaos, collateral damage & death you'd expect in an anime & you have the Evangelion franchise.

      Am done with the first six chapters. Intend to get the rest this week. It's gonna be a long week.

 Article copyright © 8-28-2011 Jay Agan

On the Rapture, Third Impact, Armageddon & All That here.
     
Expert Predicts Third Impact to Hit May 21! here.     
     
Evangelion 2.0: I Can (Not) Get Into This here.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.