Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Mr. Trololo: Gone But NEVER To Be Forgotten



                                 Mr. Trololo: Gone But NEVER To Be Forgotten


      I got "turned on" to this meme only a few short months ago while watching The Freakingness of Haruhi Suzumiya anime parody videos (Part 1, Part 2) on You Tube. For those of you who bother (Or are bothered.) to read this blog, you know I'm something of an anime fan. One blurb in the second part (About 11 minutes of the way in.) used a part of the "Trololo" song. Curious, I sat through the credits & entered "trololo" in the You Tube search field & came up with this.

      Needless to say, I was intrigued. How something so "awful" could be so popular ... I mean this was an awesome weapon of the Cold War & could have spelled the end of the free world. For some strange reason (Divine intervention?), the Soviets decided to turn it on themselves & rely on Jimmy Carter to give the store away to them. Bad move (For them.). Thank GOD for Ronald Reagan!

      Kidding aside, this is an excellent example of one being behind & ahead of his time. Mr. "Trololo" Khil will be missed, but he has achieved an immortality of sorts. The world isn't going to forget him for quite a loooong while.

The "I Am Very Glad Because I'm Finally Back Home" album cover.


Trololo original here.

Long thread on the Classic Horror Film Board here. Lotsa links n' videos.

Ria Novosti obit article here.

Mr. Trololo on Family Guy here.

Hitler Calls the Trololo Guy here.

The Freakingness of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 1, Part 2.

Go to Main Page here.

Friday, June 1, 2012

An Offer She Might Refuse: A Haibane Renmei Fanfiction

Hikari: The "inventor" of doughnuts.


                         An Offer She Might Refuse: A Haibane Renmei Fanfiction

                                                                      by

                                                                          C V Ford


      When Gian-Carlo told her his father wanted to speak with her, Hikari thought only the baker would be waiting in the back room where the accounts were done. She was surprised on seeing his wife, Klara,  seated to the right of the old desk. The older woman smiled back as Ben pointed to her seat at the front.

      Hikari sat in slight apprehension adjusting her apron. She knew Ben (The sizable man was sometimes referred to as "Little Ben" by some townspeople.) to be a stern but kindly employer in her three plus years at the bakery. As she was an excellent worker he never before needed to speak much in regard to her performance. With Klara also present, she knew it was something important.

      In his characteristic taking of the initiative, Ben started things off.

      "So how long HAS it been since you started working for us Hikari? Three years isn't it?"

      "Almost 3 1/2 sir," she replied.

      "And in all this time, I've had no reason to regret having you on here."

      Hikari relaxed slightly but the relief was very short lived.

      "Until now ..."

      The young haibane brought herself up abruptly. If it had something to do with-

      "It has nothing at all to do with your performance here," Ben assured her. "In fact I'd like to have you here always. It's ..."

      Hikari blinked, her bespectacled eyes shifting between the baker & his wife.

      "We would've talked to you sooner but it wasn't the right time. We've worried how you might take it & ... we don't want the washi having any lee-way in this ..."

      "Ben!" Klara tightened her grip on Bens' hand.

      "It's all right Klara ... he's never done anything in regard to us before ... & it's doubtful he'll do anything now." He looked back to Hikari. "Klara has something of a reverence for the washi that I uh ... lack. But that's another subject entirely."

      Confused, the haibane girl started asking, "but what does the washi ...?"

      "I'll get right to the point. It's about your ... Day of flight."

      The young girls' eyes widened as the three words hit her hard. Day of flight!? Something she & others of her kind spoke seldom & in hushed whispers. Except for the emotional times when Kuu & Reki "left" or when mentioned by the washi himself, it was something all haibane kept among themselves. As long as she lived in Guri, she had not heard of humans having any knowlege of the deeper things of the haibane. From what she heard in passing, she assumed they just accepted the fact a haibane, every so often, "leaves" & nothing more.

      Yet here were two before her who in only a few moments, revealed they may have knowlege not typical. It just wasn't possible. Unless they were more than they appeared to be ...

      "How ... how could you ...?"

      "Know anything at all about this?"

      Hikaris' mind raced.

      "How ... when it's a haibanes' time to leave? When whatever inner problem or ... uh ... sin is resolved, a haibane goes to those ruins in the woods & leaves in a display of light over the wall?"

      Speechless, Hikari could only stare.

      "The reason for my knowing this," the baker not hesitant, "& more, is simple. I ... some twenty five years ago ... Was one of you. A haibane."

      The young ladys' mouth fell open. It couldn't be ... yet ...

      "It's not possible! A haibane who doesn't take his day of flight ... leave the nest ... is ... is ... doomed to ..."

      "... Hiding away ... living away from one & all in a miserable isolated existance. I know. Yet ... as you can see ... I'm not only among the living so to speak but doing well ..."

      "But how can you-?"

      "All in good time hon. We have more important things to discuss ..."

      "And you ...", Hikari turned to Klara, "are you ..."

      "Oh heavens no dear!" Klara smiled. "No ... I was born like everyone else in Guri. I met Ben soon after he started work here."

      "So you ... he ...?"

      "We've been married just over twenty years ago." Both hands now gripping Bens' left. "Four sons & many memories. I've not regretted it."

      "Nor I," Ben declared. "As they say 'behind every successfull man & father is a woman.' Klara is that & much more."

      Amazed puzzlement showed acutely on Hikaris' face. So much yet in a way so little had been dropped in her lap. "I'm ... more than ... confused. I don't ... can't see ... how ... you could ..."

      "Ben? I don't think we're going to get any further with Hikari without telling your story first."

      "I suppose you're right hon. It might clarify the urgency of the situation.

      "Try not to ask questions until after I'm finished Hikari. What I'm about to tell you must not leave this room. If, however, you feel you must speak to the washi about this there's nothing I can do to stop you. You are, after all, still under the rule of the Renmei. It'd be interesting to hear what the ... old man ... has to say."

      Hikari noted the bakers' look of disdain on his face on mention of the communicator. Was it possible Ben & the washi had bad feelings between? Even enmity?

      "Well, best to begin at the beginning as all stories go ...

      "I was born ... hatched ... at Abandoned Factory about twentyfive years ago. Like you, I was presented with halo & went through the ordeal of wings ... the already blackening feathers marked me ...

      Hikaris' intake of breath was more than audible.

      "Yes ... Unlike you, I was born ... sin bound.

      "While still somewhat disoriented, I was taken to the temple, presented to the washi & went through the initiation of bell ritual & ... paybook."

      "Paybook" sounded like an expectoration. The young haibane wasn't sure she was going to like the way Bens' narrative seemed to be going.

      "The crowning gesture of the ritual was the washi taking me aside & revealing the meaning of my black feathers. Seems I was guilty of some trangression or ten in my past life & I had to own up to it somehow ... atone for something I couldn't even vaguely remember. My only clue is my coccoon dream ... One of fire, battle & intrigue.

      "I found such a thing unacceptable. I saw no reason to feel reponsible for something I knew next to nothing about & didn't even try. Try as I might, I couldn't get what I felt was a straight answer from the washi over the time of my being a haibane. Needless to say, he & I didn't get along well ..."

      Hikari knew the washi to be a stern judge & guide. In her time at the bakery she found Ben to be a strong (Though kindly & fair.) personality. She could only imagine, but it seemed logical for there to be a clash between the two.

      "Because of my black feathers, later wings, a good many of my "fellow" haibane looked a bit askance of me at first. In time most of them knew I had a "problem" of some kind & accepted me as one of them.

      "As time went on, I drifted from Abondoned Factory, taking up residence in the farming district as a hired hand. I took to wearing a jacket or heavy shirt & a hat to hide wings & halo. Though I was rather proud of my black wings, I still didn't care for the attention they got from those around me. You know what that's like, I'm sure ..."

      "Yes ... Even though they're usually nice & just curious, it's still a pain."

      "Seems after a time, everyone there assumed I was a regular human. Something I didn't try to correct. Only the couple at the large farm I worked at had any idea. I'll always be grateful for their keeping quiet about it.

      "It was there I became fascinated with the process of growing things & making them into finished product. In my deliveries of produce & grain to town, I became aquainted with the various shopkeepers & business folk. Contacts I maintain to this day ..."

      "But you ... your day of flight ...." Though she inwardly cringed at the thought of the baker snapping at her (He never did.) her impatience got the better of her. The man only smiled & went on.

      "Yes ... yes ... that. I had been warned repeatedly by the washi of the consequences of my ... uh ... rebelliousness... but ... that ... & ... the old mans' deliberate inexactness & just being less than vague, only made me want to dig my heels in deeper.

      "Once ... Not long before I was due to ... uh ... 'leave' ... ." The pause was long. "I marched into the temple ... Without bothering for permission to enter or even speak ... & DEMANDED he be plain & just out & out tell me what it was in my past I had to be so contrite about. Several of those speechless goons had to escort me out. I then concluded he really knew no more about it than I did. Probably less."

      Hikaris' mouth hung open in amazement. She had no idea a haibane could be so defiant. From what Rakka told her of Reki, this was beyond comprehension. Yet ... there it was.

      "The old man had me restricted to the farming district for an indefinite period. Being I had no intention of reform I stayed there until my day of flight came.

      "Of course I couldn't take it & didn't want to. While there was a slight 'pull' in my heart urging me to the western woods & possible punishment/banishment, I resisted easily enough & continued to stay where I was.

      "Over the course of several weeks ... things happened ... & didn't happen. First, my halo came off. Day by day, I felt its' hold lessen until ... one day ... I was able to pry it off. I wasn't going to wait for it to fall off. I wanted it off quick as possible. It hangs on a nail in the attic at home. I go look at it ... sometimes. ...

      "My raven black wings withered & eventually dropped. Somehow my body remembered how wonderful it was to lay flat on my back in bed, nothing between me & matress.

      "As for what didn't happen, well ... I felt no compulsion to hide myself away from people. None of the washis' speechless minions came to take me away, or any of the constables to arrest me. When I stepped outside the farming district no one pursued from the temple.

      "When I chanced to meet the washi after my leaving the district, the sky didn't fall in on me. We just looked at one another. He only shook his head & moved on ... I was free ... FREE!"

      The bakers' face became animated under his telling. Hikari, fascinated, leaned forward listening intently.

      "I was able to secure employment here. The then owner knew me from before when I delivered grain & took me on. It was here I established myself in the world of men. Here I learned my trade & for the first time earned a real living, a real wage. I tell you Hikari, there's nothing like earning & having real money in your pocket. Nothing like that notebook scrip the old man uses to keep you under his thumb, but actual money.

      "My purse became my symbol in dealing with others on a one to one, value for value basis. You might have heard the saying that 'A man is as good as his money'? It's not the money itself but in how one gets it. If one gets it rightly, on the square ... without swindle or shortchanging, then his money is  good as he is good.

      "I know this is new & alien to you but bear me out. You've been quite a while in Guri but only under the sway of the Renmei. But even within the confines of the wall, there's a whole new world waiting for you.

      "I certainly didn't spend my money like a fool. I was used to doing without & still bought used out of force of habit. I lived simply as possible, scrimped & saved, building my earnings, I eventually took out a loan at the bank, buying this business when the owner retired. In a few short years I was able to pay off the loan & expand.

      "During that time, Klara & I met, got married & raised a family ..."

      Hikari cast a questioning look Klaras' way.

      "He slowly told me over the course of our courtship about himself. At first I thought it wild fantasy but kept it to myself. It wasn't just the sincerity in the way he told it but the very detailed explanations about the haibane I eventually came to believe ...

      "On our wedding night," the older woman blushed,"when I saw the scars on his back ... from where his wings had been ...

      "A bad haibane, but a good man ..."

      Hikari knew the couple to be close over the time she worked for them. Now she knew it to be more so than originally thought.

      "You mentioned ... new world?"

      "Yes ... As a haibane & later in my apprenticeship here, I studied all I could, not only of Haibane lore & law but also that of Guri itself. In them I found nothing that said I HAD to accept a solitary life away from all if I didn't take my day of flight.

      "My theory is that anyone going into exile does so out of a profound feeling of guilt. A guilt so heavy they can't find it in themselves to counter or resist. A guilt I can only at times feel oh so ... slightly. I know there was something in my past before Guri but for the life of me I can't figure. Knowing no specifics, I've bothered less & less over the years."

      The young haibane girls' eyes widened. She had known only respect & reverence for the ways of her kind. Here, before her ... talking with her ... was some kind of unrepentant ... "fallen angel".

      "Over the course of time I made aquaintance of three other people of interest. One is a member of the town council, another a constable. They were both intrigued & did studies of their own. Their findings pretty much corroborated mine: Like anyone else, I'm free & clear to go about my life here providing no actual statute laws are broken.

      "You mentioned three ..."

      "Yes ... the third one was himself a haibane."

      There was no getting over it for Hikari. Much of what she "knew" was being rewritten on the spot.

      "An older gentleman. Regular customer here. I won't mention his name but you know him on sight. He too chose not to leave. Unlike me, he was not sin bound or so he says. His own investigations pretty much confirm what I already believe.

      "My guess is there may be others here ... not many ... but here. It could be a sizeable portion of the population have haibane ancestry they know nothing of ...

      "Who knows what else the washi ... & this ... renmei ... may be keeping from everyone."

      "Ben!"

      The baker glanced at his wife & back to Hikari, noting the bewildered expression on her face. "Oh yes ... new world ... "

      "The only new world I can ever know is over the wall ... the-"

      "So far as you know hon."

      "But-"

      "But there's one waiting for you right here."

      "You mentioned that before," the young habane stated. "All I can see in being here is-"

      "Waiting for your day of flight? Sorting out whatever inside," he held his hand to his chest, "keeping you here?"

      "Y ... Yes ..."

      "I said the time was urgent after mentioning the possibility of your leaving-"

      "But how can you know my time is near!? ... Even I-"

      "We've BOTH seen it before ... in others. How quiet, distant ... introspective ... they get when that feeling of completeness & fulfilment comes upon them ... keeping to themselves. That distant look they have ... to that place in the woods."

      "We've seen that in you dear."

      Hikari turned her now panicked glance at Klara.

      "For the past couple days we've noticed how quiet & even more thoughtfull you've been ... That look of contentment ..."

      "But I've had no thought of leaving ... no ... " Any thoughts of contentment were also far from her in this agitated state.

      "A haibane has no thought of leaving until hours, even minutes before the urge comes. In the times we've seen it in others, it came suddenly. Before we knew it that beam of light ascended to the heavens from the ruins in the woods & we were missing someone we knew ... Someone we cared for."

      A dark thought Hikari harbored from the beginning of this conversation came to the fore.

      "What do you gain from telling me this? What is it you hope to get out of all this.?"

      "Ah! You do know my mind."

      "More than minutes ago! I thought you kind ... good ... helpful. You two ... " She looked at Klara then back to her employer,"... were like ... parents ... you ..."

      "I will admit ... there are selfish motives here. Yes, I do hope to gain from this. However, I never try to get something for nothing ... something without an even exchange. One for one as I've said before."

      "And that would be?"

      The baker smiled inwardly. He knew the girl had a bit of sand under that sweet exterior & it heartened as well as amused. He knew he made the right choice in her.

      "Before you came through that door 3 1/2 years ago, I swore to have as little to do with the washi & the Charcoal Feathers Federation as was possible. Preferably NONE. It goes without saying I wouldn't have taken it out on you young folks. After all, you're just pawns in that game ...

      "I couldn't believe it when you came through the door looking for work that day. I thought it a colossal joke of sorts. Was the washi trying to pull something? It even crossed my mind to hire you for the sole purpose of rubbing the old mans' nose in it. 'Look o' great communicator! One of yours is working for ME now ... HA!"

      Ben continued before Hikari could indignantly interject.

      "Whatever it was ... your smile ... that pleasant personality ... Maybe it's the way you light up the place when you're here ..."

      "What we do know love," Klara exclaimed. "Is we had to keep you on."

      "There is also the fact ... your enthusiasm ... you're ... you're a damn ... darn ... good hard worker Hikari! I'd hate to lose you."

      The young haibane noted the bakers' now flustered state. He wasn't one to stammer. There had to be more to it than ...

      "It can't be just that! You can always get someone else. Another baker. Another one to work for you. Even if I was going to ... uh ... leave ... if ... I ... Why should I give up a chance at something as wonderful as ... just so you-"

      "Yes ... yes ... there's more ... there's ..."

      "What!?" For several minutes Hikari had been leaning forward, hands on desk. She felt Klaras' left hand holding her right.

      "When you first started here, both Klara & I decided to actually pay you a living wage.

      "We considered your being paid in the washis' notebook scrip to be outrageous ... Nothing more than a way to keep you under his control. We couldnt let you have it for the time being of course, so we waited."

      "Waited until now to bribe me from what may be the greatest ..."

      The baker held up his hand. Hikari could see He was reaching a limit.

      "There's 3 1/2 years of wages, including raises & bonuses when business was more than good. The money's in an account at the bank under a different name. All that needs be done is for Klara or I to sign off on it. If you decide to stay in Guri you won't be without resources. You'll have a definite leg-up."

      Hikaris' exasperation had built up. She couldn't possibly see how money could ever compensate for a missed chance at transcendance. An offer in the face of that was beyond ridiculous. It was ... blasphemous ... it was ...

      She abruptly stood up, drawing in her breath to voice her indignation when Klara cut her short.

      "Think of it dear ... as a dowry of sorts."

      The young womans' gasp more than audible. Wind taken from her sails before even moving.

      "D ... dow-ry?" She slumped back down in her chair, at a total loss for words.

      "Klara & I feel there is no one better for a daughter in law than you. You've worked alongside our sons all this time & know them more than well. Of course Vitorio is already married & Susuke's too young. However both Jotaro & Gian-Carlo have expressed much more than a passing interest to us. They know of my past & thus your situation. They've both sworn to hold off until my say so. They bide their time."

      Klara smiled. "Gian-Carlo is intrigued with the idea of  a ... 'faerie wife'."

      The blush on Hikaris' face was more than evident.

      "Of course if you stay, you're under no obligation to marry anyone. The money in the account is yours, free & clear. You've more than earned it."

      The young haibane alternately shifted her gaze from Ben to Klara several times. A lot had been put upon her in the last few minutes. A few short moments before, life had been simple with no complication.

      "Hikari ... hon ... You have a choice. A real one to make. One we hope you make before the washi hands you that little box ...

      "You can take your day of flight ... go over the wall ... to whatever afterlife the washi may have only vaguely hinted at. Who knows? Maybe it is that something glorious most of us thought it might be.

      "Or ... you can stay with us. Here you have resources, position & a more than even chance of a real, definite future with the possibility of marriage & children. Something you may not have had in your previous life & certainly not as a haibane ... Something ..."

      From across the desk, both of Klaras' hands clasped Hikaris' right.

      "Dear ... Whatever you decide ... If ... if you do go over ... if you choose to leave & you are in that beyond ... remember us. Remember there are those of us here who ... not only care for you ... But deeply love you."


Copyright © 6-1-2012 Jay Agan
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More of my Haibane Renmei fan fiction:

An Exception In Guri here.

Washi With the Mask Off here.

His Mother Was the Lightning His Taker the Light here.

You Devil You here.

Other:

Haibane Renmei: One Side of the Equation here.

Haibane Renmei: Awww Rats! here.

Go to Main Page here.

Disclaimer: The preceeding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the copyrighted names/characters, places, some dialogue & events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of Radix & Funimation. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase & enjoyment of their products.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Charlie Brown Summons Hell Girl

"Shhhh! Be vewy, vewy quiet ... I'm huntin' souls! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh!"


                                        Charlie Brown Summons Hell Girl

     
      So I'm going through my blog stats traffic sources when I stumble on "charlie brown summons hell girl". That would definitely make for an interesting Hell Girl episode or Peanuts TV special. I can see it now:

      Tonight, on CBS. An all new Peanuts special. "It's Hell Link Charlie Brown!". Brought to you by Dolly Madison Cakes ... Makers of Razzies, Hickies & Boogaloos. And ... by your local Croaka Cola bottler.

Go ahead Chuck! Your "griefance" shall be avenged ...

     
      Boy, if anyone ever needed that straw doll it's ole' Chuck! That darn Lucy! Always giving poor Charlie a hard way to go. Putting him down in front of God n' everybody. Messing up the ball game. Giving lousey psychiatric advice (Whadaya expect for a nickle anyway?). Always calling him "blockhead". Taking away that football at the last moment.

If anybody deserves to go to perdition ... 


      If anybody deserves to go to perdition it's that rotten Lucy. Go ahead Chuck! Pull the string! ... But wait ...

      "OK ... I pull the string & she's outta my life forever. But when it's my time to go I go to Cleveland ... er ... 'the other place' too!? ... Good Grief!"

      SPOILER ALERT! : Wether Charlie sends Ms. van Pelt to heck or not is immaterial. Third Impact eventually hits & Rei glops him instead.

      "Aaauugh! ... It's the little red haired girl! ... She's heading this way! ... She wants to talk to me! ... What am I gonna' say? ... What do I do? ... What do I ... Huh? ... Her eyes match her hair! How could ... Awww rats!" SPLAT! ... burble ... burble ...

Go to Main Page here.

Friday, May 25, 2012

The Bonfire of George Zimmerman: I Think I've Seen This Before

A publicity photo for The Bonfire of the Vanities.
L-R: Tom Hanks, Melanie Griffith & Bruce Willis


                    The Bonfire of George Zimmerman: I Think I've Seen This Before


      If you haven't been spending time in an alternate universe of late, you may have heard SOMETHING of the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin bust up. Or at least seen something of the resultant media circus. As I watched it unfold I wondered, did Tom Wolfe choreograph this?

      Whatever, I do believe that as the facts come in about the fracas a lot of people about a year from now are going to have egg on their faces after the smoke clears from the trial. Provided of course Mr. Zimmerman isn't conned into a plea bargain.

      While we're all waiting on tinterhooks in the months ahead, I would like to suggest you take in a film I  previously reviewed on this humble blog: The Bonfire of the Vanities. In its' portrayal of media hype the film has a lot of similarities to the several weeks of "performance art" the public was recently subjected to.

      Warning: If your sentiments are on one side of what happened, you will find this movie amusing. If they're on the other, your blood may boil. Be that as it might, no matter where you stand, you will find The Bonfire of the Vanities interesting.


My review of The Bonfire of the Vanities here.

Wikipedia review of the film here.

Wikipedia review of the novel here.

Wikipedia bio of author Tom Wolfe here.

Definition from Wikipedia of the term: "bonfire of the vanities" here.

Go to Main Page here.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Kiddies These Days ...



                                                 Kiddies These Days ...


     Remember when one could discipline their kid in front of God & everybody & didn't have to worry about "intervention"? Y'know, some nosey hyena stepping in & threatening to report you for child abuse? After all, the child is only expressing himself & stopping him from his "performance art" would only serve to traumatize the little jerk. Well the little fool should get traumatized!

      I would love to hear/read about some clown getting punched out for stepping into something that's none of his/her concern. If the kid is "acting out", it's no business of mine to keep a parent from disciplining a future would be Jeffrey Dahmer.

      I've manned a cash register off & on over the years & I've seen some real kiddie meltdowns. I didn't think it was possible for a kid to have a stroke until I got into the "service industry"!

      I recollect an amusing little incident while working at a not to be mentioned would be Wal-Mart. A lady came through my checkout line with a rather unruly little monster. She grabbed "sweetums", draped him over her arm & used her free hand to give junior a swat on the posterior. She then remembered they were in a public place & gave me a fearful look thinking I would "report" her or something. I immediately gave her a thumbs up & a smile. The relieved expression on her face was more than evident.

      It's really sad one has to look over ones' shoulder when it comes to anything family related anymore. But then, it's been 1984 a long time now.



Go to Main Page here.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Interesting Search Words #16

                                         Interesting Search Words #16

      Wild, whacky, wonderful search words wheeling weirdos whistfully, wandering, willfully to this blog.

1. haruhi suzumiya is god - Yes. We know that. Did it need be stated? Is it being questioned? Is it being DOUBTED!? Are you unsure ... Oh ye of little faith!?

No truer words spoken ... yea verily ... so mote it be ... Vox Haruhi ... Vox Dei


2. evangelion human salvation project hentai - What!? Doing the nasty ... during Third Impact? But then, End of Evangelion is one big mind screw anyway.

3. anime isn't a hobby it's a way of life - Uh ... it's ... cartoons. Unless it's Haruhi of course. Then it's ... GOD!

Hmmm ... For this, much pennance is required ...


4. tee shirt with demented pikachu - Howzabout tee shirts by a demented Alabaman? Or is it Albanian? Alabama ... Alabania ... I ... I never could get those two right. Don't you make fun a' me!

5. rei ayanami house - DON'T GO THERE! Uh ... the place is a mess ... yeah, that's it! ... and ... and ... you'll be a mess ... burble ... burble ...

6. kyon & yuki nagato - So ... does this mean Kyons' last name is Nagato?

7. my little pony haruhi, haruhi suzumiya mlp, mlp haruhi, haruhi pony, etc. - There's been a lot of this lately. I mean ... what's the tie in!? How in the world can there be any connection? I don't get it. Can someone explain this to me? Bet the guy mentioned in #4 can ... maybe ...

The fear of Haruhi ... is the beginning of wisdom ...


8. hell girl words - English dub: "Oh pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, bringing pain & suffering to others ... Oh damned soul, wallowing in your sin ... Perhaps ... It is time to die ..."

                               Japanese dub according to subtitles: "Oh pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, demeaning & bringing harm to others ... A damned soul, wallowing in sin ... Care to give death a try?"

                               My interpretation: "Yer goin' t' heck n' gone! That or Cleveland!"

                               You: "No! ... No! ... Not that! ... Anything but that! ... I'd sooner go to Elkmont, Alabama! Aaaauuugh!"

We have nothing to fear but Hell Girl herself.


9. real anime girls - Um ... Not quite sure ... but ... I think it's called ANIME for a reason ... Just sayin' ...

10. azumanga daioh sakaki in boys uniform - GO RED RACCOON DOGS!

Tall is beutiful.


Azumanga Daioh: Too Much Cute here.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

Monday, May 14, 2012

An Exception In Guri: A Haibane Renmei Fanfiction

... looking neither to the right nor the left as he walked ...


                             An Exception In Guri: A Haibane Renmei Fanfiction

                                                                   by

                                                                       C V Ford


      It is said Haibane are here only for a short time & then they're gone. No one knows how they leave though they do. Rumor has it some don't & if so, they live out their days isolated & forgotten in dreary, secluded existance. As far from people as the wall will allow. Forgotten ... never to be remembered.

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      Even when he was in the town of Guri/Glie proper, the Washi/Communicator passed by only on occasion. He never stopped by but the baker always made it a point to show himself when the holy man walked past. The Baker cared little if the shaman ever entered his place of business even though he preferred the masked one didn't. It's not that the baker was afraid. Not only did he not have any reverence, he absolutely hated him.

      As the robed figure strode on, people would stop what they were doing. Some would stare in awe, others avert their eyes. Some ... even bow.

      Not so the baker. He always placed himself on the sidewalk at the door to his shop. Arms folded or hands/fists on hips, he'd look at the priest in calm, cold defiance & contempt. Not making a show of it, if anyone ever noticed, no one mentioned it to him or others after.

      The robed one went by, staff tapping the pavement in rythmic accompaniement to the soft tinkel of the bells of his ornate, green robe. Masked countenance looking neither to the right nor the left as he walked.

      The figure receding in the distance, the baker mused:

      "You ... thought ... YOU THOUGHT ... if I didn't conform to your beliefs ... didn't ... leave ... I would still go along with the rest of if? Live a miserable non-existance somewhere out of the way? Dwell ... in a hermitlike undeath, out of the minds of others?

      "You thought old man ... you thought wrong.

      "Every moment held under your sway, I hated. Your warnings of me paying for some sin or sins I have no recollection of went unheeded. I was actually proud of my black feathers ...

      "All the same, you have no idea the happiness I felt when they finally dropped off. When the halos' hold was weak enough, I ripped it from my head!

      "Just WHAT did you think? That I ... would continue to stay under your thumb? Sequester myself away from the sight & mind of all ... or become one of those mute freaks who serve you? No! I did none of that!

      "How it must gall you old man. How it must tear your guts knowing ... knowing ... not only did I not shut myself away in undeserved sorrow & guilt ... but lived ... And still living! I have a wife & family. A business even! I've made a life of my own & the things that go with it. Things you wouldn't allow any of  those poor children at Old Home or the Factory to have.

... a damn good worker & a cheerful one at that ...


      "And don't even think for one moment it's a quest for pennance or your non-existant forgiveness that I employ one of those unfortunate souls at my place of business. Nor is it out of my having been one of them so long ago. She's a damn good worker & a cheerful one at that!

      "Cheerful ... you wouldn't allow me that either ...

      "I've even set aside wages for her though she doesn't know it. Your not allowing one to better oneself ... Altruistic nonsense! No ... there's the off-chance she'll not take her day of flight & she could use a leg-up.

      "And I've two good, sturdy sons for her to choose from. Both have taken a liking to her. They know my past & bide their time as well.

      "Chance nothing ... I'll talk to her when the time is right. Even with my black feathers, I knew just how she felt when my day of flight neared ... Still do ...

      "Yes old man ... You thought wrong ..."


Copyright © 5-14-2012 Jay Agan

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My other Haibane Renmei fanfiction:

Washi With the Mask Off here.

His Mother Was the Lightning His Taker the Light here.

You Devil You here.

Other Haibane Renmei articles.

Haibane Renmei: One Side of the Equation here.

Haibane Renmei: Awww Rats! here.

Go to Main Page here.

Disclaimer: The preceeding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the copyrighted names/characters, places, & some events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of Radix & Funimation Entertainment. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase & enjoyment of their products.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.

Friday, May 11, 2012

The Vegans' Dement



                                                   The Vegans' Dement

                                                                 by

                                                                     Jay Agan

      I tried veganism ..... once.

      Back in '81, at the behest of my Seventh Day Adventist landlady & after reading some Adventist propaganda (I usually read it for amusement.), I gave veganism a try. I left out all sources of animal protien. I don't think it was called veganism at the time. I thought I was doing vegetarianism (Which as it turns out, allows for dairy, eggs, etc.). While I must say I felt "better" up to a point, (Cuts, sores, etc. healed a lot faster.) the negatives really got to me.

      I now understand why cattle, sheep & other herd animals are constantly eating. NOTHING SATISFIES! Nuts, seeds, sprouts, fruits, veggies, breads, cereals ..... the feeling of being filled up lasted only minutes. I was ..... grazing! Like a dang cow.

      The meat substitutes from the Adventist store were no help at all. One can of chili gave me my first experience with food poisoning. Dang Loma Linda!

      And the constant gas & runs ..... ugh!

      It got to the point where I envied the two cats (Smokey & Velcro.) I had. I'd be dishing out their Little Friskies (Canned!) & the heady aroma would just ..... HIT ..... me. Those cats were eating better than I was! They'd engorge their carnivorous little selves then sleep it off. Their distended little bellies felt like they swallowed billiard balls.

      It got worse.

      Voices ..... & apparitions ..... of grotesque little creatures ..... calling to me ..... appearing ..... from out ot the wood work ..... saying .....

      "Meat! ..... Meeeeeeeat! ..... MEEEEEEEAT!!

      "It's what's for dinner!"

      "Real ..... food ..... for ..... real ..... peeeeepul!

      "CAT! ...... The other white meat!"

      After about two & a half months of this self inflicted misery & a particularly heavy session on the can, I'm sitting exhausted in my apartment feeling emptier than ever. Guts churning away with some of the most gosh awful noise imaginable ..... That was it ..... couldn't take anymore.

      Jumped in the car, hauled my sore posterier to Wendys'. TWO triple deckers, LARGE Coke, a Frosty, two LARGE fries (EXTRA GREASE!!) & back home. An epic battle with the cats ensued as I devoured the mess in nothing flat.

      Never looked back since ..... BURRRRRP!

      Cue Coplands' Hoedown.


Article copyright © 5-11-2012 Jay Agan


Go to Main Page here.

This article (only) may be copied in whole or in part. Please cite proper credit & backlink.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Presidential Dream Ticket: If Only!





                                       Presidential Dream Ticket: If Only!





For those of you who have read Atlas Shrugged you know what this is about. For those who don't, by all means read the book! You WILL be informed, you WILL be edjucated!



I don't think I could vote for this ticket. After all, a womans' place
is on the railroad.


      Oh for a REAL choice in November. As it is, hold your nose & hit the Romney button.

      Why? ..... 'CAUSE HE'S NOT THE INCUMBENT!


Atlas Shrugged Part 1: Bad Because It's Good here.

Wikipedia bio of Ayn Rand here.

Wikipedia description of Atlas Shrugged here.

Wikipedia description of The Fountainhead novel here.

Wikipedia description of The Fountainhead film here.

Proud Producers shirts 'n stuff here.

Printfections Galt Taggart mousepad here.

Ranting From Reno here.

The Atlas Society here.

A  VERY CAPITALISTIC tee shirt company here. I don't think he's an objectivist, but then ..... No one's perfect!

Go to Main Page here.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Interesting Search Words #15

                                                    
                                           Interesting Search Words #15


      Words of web wanderers who were woefully wending their weary way to this wonderous website. WOW!

1. anime bunny with guns - What's bettern' an anime bunny? An anime bunny with guns!

This couldn't be Kagame Hiiragi, could it? Konata must've finally gotten to her!


2. hentai real - Hentai UN-real. You probably wish it was ...... hopefully with some sub-genres left out.

3. yuki nagato is not amused - How can you tell? It's like determining wether or not Robert Mitchum is sleepy.

The best part of waking up is LCL ..... er ..... Folgers in your cup!


4. baby looney toons elmira - The show was called Tiny Toon Adventures. The character was Elmyra Duff. Elmira is my original home town.

5. cosplay lolicon - Call the cops!

6. big brown spider in virginia - Here's one in Arizona. Check out what happens to it here.
Attaboy Clint!

Yep! They git purty big out there.


7. the bible demotivational - Pen Jillette said he gave up at Leviticus. I would too. Start at Matthew instead of Genesis (And I DON'T mean Neon GENESIS Evangelion!).

8. haruhi mikuru asahina pillow - This brings to mind an issue of The Dirty Pair from the late 80s. In the letters section a fan kept referring to the characters as if they were real. The Ed. stated that real lovers, in spite of any physical shortcomings, were better than imaginary ones. Go out and ask one for a date! Yeah, some do "bite" & are mean, but that's the risk you take. The worst she can do is say "no" ..... & make a scene ..... laugh at you ..... put you down in front of God 'n everybody ..... make you feel like 2 cents ...... Ahem! ..... GO FOR IT!

9. manly guys doing manly things cosplay - As a manly guy I don't cosplay when I do manly things (Which is all the time.). Don't need to. God! I'm gorgeous!

10. rei smile - Long ago I had a spooky girl friend like that. She smiled ..... a lot!

Sometimes I think that kid ENJOYS glopping people!

Go to  Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Gendo Ikari vs Chuck Norris: An Interesting "Search Word" Indeed

Propane, propane accessories ..... & LCL.

                                
                   Gendo Ikari vs Chuck Norris: An Interesting "Search Word" Indeed

     
      While searching my blog stats for the next installment of  Interesting Search Words I came across the above. Gendo up against Big Chuck? No way! Keep in mind, ole Chuckles is so manly that when he does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down. Ikari wouldn't last two seconds with Mr. Norris.

Nobody messes with Chuck. Not even Gendo Ikari or SEELE.

     
      Lillith/Rei vs Chuck would be more of a real match up. Norris' A T field is at least just as powerful & his LCL has the consistency of concrete. He's the only guy who could out & out survive Third Impact.



      When I think about it, just who was it who "cut the throat" of the Lillith/Rei/Yui entity & releasing all those souls anyway? It couldn't have been wimpy boy in the powered down Unit 01. No, it had to have been Big Chuck himself. No one else could do it. NO ONE!


Oooooo! Bunnies! L-R foreground: Yuki Nagato, Mikiru Asahina, Haruhi Suzumiya.
Background: Itsuke Koizumi, Kyon. Credit: Kyoto Animation

     
      Of course I can't take any of this seriously including the Evangelion franchise. I mean, after all, everyone knows that the one true God is Haruhi Suzumiya. Third Impact would be impossible as she would just wish it away. Then again, with her yearning for wonderful, crazy things to happen, she'd just might let it! Even doing a "Third Impact" of her own! (Does what she did "three years ago" count?)

      Great! Just Great! All this time I've been worried about hovering, blue haired, albino school chicks when the real "menace" was a guitar playing whack goddess in a bunny suit! Sheesh!

      Wish she'd do something about those ponies .....


Wikipedia article on Chuck Norris "facts" here.

"Actual" Chuck Norris "facts" here.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Ooooo! Goodies in the Mail! here.

End of Evangelion: This Is (Really) Disturbing here.

The Head Trip of Haruhi Suzumiya Pts  1  2  3.

Go to Main Page here.

DISCLAIMER: All images used on this blog are strictly copyrights of their owners. I do not claim credit/ownership for any images used here in my blog unless stated otherwise. If I have offended anyone by posting any images on my blog, please contact me via email and I will remove specified image(s) ASAP.