That Elmo Guy

Never did like Elmo. A total Jerk!
Credit: Sesame Workshop


                                                     That Elmo Guy

                                                                by

                                                                   Jay Agan
     
      To say I hate Elmo would be a bit much. I do have a strong dislike for him. I'll explain. Some things need clearing up first.

      A lot of kids seem to be under the impression he's this cute, little, fuzzy, red monster kid on Sesame Street. Older folks even think he's a muppet, an imaginary character. Wrong. He actually is a real person, believe it or not.

      Sure, he's totally bizarre looking, thus lending to the impression of being nonexistant, but nevertheless, he is real. Crazy as it sounds, there are a LOT of folks out there, some in media, who you'd think weren't real but are. Conversly, there are those not so weird looking who actually are figments of the medias' imagination (Paris Hilton & Barack Obama come to mind. I remember reading about Ted Koppel "being one of Jim Hensons' more fabulous creations".).

      He's also not a kid. He's now in his forties & from what I heard of him since he was a frustrated drama student at Ohio State University, he hasn't changed much. I had the displeasure of knowing Elmo back then & the following is how I came to look askance of him.

      He was alway mooching off everyone. He owes me & a few others money. Never tried paying for anything. Always bumming food, beer, & weed off people. Throw a party, he wouldn't have the common courtesy to byob. Not even a bag of chips.

      He'd never hit on anyone unless she was married or spoken for in some way. Right in front of the husband or boyfriend too! What was up with that? Guy was low class/no class.

      Always regaling us with these pretentious ravings about what a great actor he was. Talked on & on of how a thespian of his caliber was being wasted & the world would one day know him for the serious star he was. Bet he never thought he'd end up the way he did.

      Whenever he got up in front of an audience, he was pretty much the way you see him on Sesame St. Of course, he was a lot more vulgar & nasty then. I'm not knocking his success. From all accounts, he's doing well & I won't begrudge him that. But .....

      He seems to be trying to forget where he came from. "Comparing notes" with others & it's pretty much the same all around: Doesn't return calls. Avoids you on the street & acts like he wishes you weren't around when he can't. Acts like he never knew you & is embarrassed when you talk to him with his "new friends" present. That sort of thing.

      Yeah. He's always made it hard to like him. Now more so than before. Darn Elmo.

                                                     Article copyright © 12-19-2010 Jay Agan

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