Friday, March 25, 2016

The Porntrolling of Haruhi Suzumiya: Chapter Two of a Haruhi Suzumiya Fan Fiction Story

The Porn Trolling of Haruhi Suzumiya: Chapter Two of a Haruhi Suzumiya Fan Fiction Story


C V Ford


Chapter 2: According to plan ...

The next couple hours were spent touring the aforementioned shopping haunts in various metro suburbs. On espying another public library branch across the street from one such place, he decided on the next step. With a guest pass, he signed on to Otakufiction dot net and went to the Haruhi slot in the anime section.


Four reviews already (One with a fave and a follow with it.) and it hardly been online. Two were, to say the least, rather derogatory. One even threatening to report for abuse but no specifics. Another, as expected, concentrated mostly on the racist aspects.

"But no real complaint about the 'porn' itself," chuckling to himself. "Vile and racist as you say but I'll bet you read it in its' entirety nonetheless.

"Hmmm ... ," musing as he noted the number of 'repeats'. "Either you guys have twitchy index fingers or you decided to read it more than once. Hypocrites!"

The fourth was most interesting. It was from the writer of Haruhi pornfics who clued him in on the Disappearance of Yuki Nagato series. Alfonso Lings' stories were just about the only pornfics Carl would read, noted for their light, airy humor, interesting jokes and plot twists as well as "prurience". Carl was interested at the writers' reaction.

AL: "Not quite sure what you're trying to do here. Perhaps your 'depravity' runs deeper than mine. Your graphic descriptiveness is interesting to say the least. Don't care for the scat imagery though and the racism DEFINITELY needs to go.

"There's also the fact adult themed HS stories are difficult for me to relate to." :)

"My dear sir ... That I find rather (A LOT!) hard to believe." Carl smiled to himself. "Should I let him in on the joke? He'd definitely get a laugh out of it ... Naww! Let 'im 'stew' a bit with the rest." (1)

Accessing his other Otakufiction dot net proxy account, Senile Delinquent, he
"viewed" his story, posted a "follow" and a review.

"WOW! Love this stuff! Maybe you can continue this story huh? Please! Please! Please!

"Any more stories on the way?"

"A man of good taste and after my own heart," Carl complemented himself. "On to the next."


A couple hours later found Carl in a java cafe with internet access. Again accessing the site and Haruhi section he found yet another review posted ... an emotional, derogatory one full of platitudes, bible misquotes, generally calling down fire and condemning him to "tropical" regions after death.

This particular "review" irked Carl a bit. In place of the planned guest review and wanting to ramp things up a bit more, he addressed this one.

"@>(unspecified reviewer) I found this story quite offensive myself and was going to post a negative review as well. You however, have aroused my curiosity. Judging by the way you're judging, I see you might be a so-called Christian. I say so-called as ... well ... Just what the hell are YOU doing reading porn in the first place?

"Darn rapture bunnies!"

"Stick THAT up yer pipe and smoke it," Carl chuckled to himself.


Getting home late in the day, Carl decided on spending the rest of the day on the net. Visiting his usual sites, including otakufiction dot net, he did a later revisit of the site to check on his story.

For security, he only browsed as a guest. He certainly wasn't going to access the SixSick6 account from his home. Looking up the story in the Haruhi section brought him up short.

"Five more reviews and two more faves? Holy crud!"

Two were favorable ... Up to a point. While both liked the porn-ness, one was turned off a bit by the "racism" and the other didn't care for the scatological "references".

Looking up both their profiles he found them both to be pornfic writers. He was condemned by another reviewer as an evil racist expletive. Another, though a porn reader, thought Carl had gone "too damn far" and was going to report him to the mods.

One really stood out from the other four.

A self avowed KluKKer condemned the piece and him. How DARE he write such a story about white (?) girls being "used" by (Insert racist slur here.)!

"White?" Carl brought himself up short, laughing. "Yeah ... I guess ..."

Yes, he himself found it difficult at times to look on most anime characters as Asian/Japanese in spite of the names and trappings. The 'big eye, small mouth' art style(s) certainly didn't hurt in such shows being marketed internationally.
While out of town, a couple days later, he accessed through a machine in a library branch and left a guest reply:

"@> (unspecified reviewer) Reading your little tirade reminded me as to why I left the movement long ago. I ran into too many yahoos like you (That and the bad cosplay!). Ever since, I've long dreamed of what I'd do if elected fuhrer. A LOT of people would get a pass because the death camps (Converted NASCAR tracks.) would be too full of white trash like you for there to be any room for them. Whiteys' got his own genetic mess to clean and you're part of it!"


Most of the week passed, with more reviews, faves and follows coming in. More than the usual for a new story though nothing too fantastic, the number of reads on the story were over 150 that week. Reviews (Mostly condemnations, some with threats to report to the mods and a couple more surprising praises.) totaled about twenty that week up to that point. Actually quite good.

And the story had not been taken down by the mods.

"Odd," thought Carl. "With all the threats to report, you'd think the mods would have scrambled to take it down by now ... "

Getting up that Saturday, the would be master prankster went grocery shopping and decided to check the stats on his rogue account while in the next county over.
At a restaurant with net access he took what he thought would be a quick look.
The quick look turned out to be a hellaciously long triple take and a choking on his coffee.

"531 viewers!?" He stared dumbfounded at the screen. "Not counting the repeats? Gotta' be a glitch or something ... gotta' ... Fortythree more reviews as well!? Noooo!"

A scan of the reviews proved ominous, threatening, praising and enlightening.

The concensus evenly divided between those liking the story for various reasons, others hating for the same and those with mixed feelings about it. Too gross, too racist, too vulgar, not enough, too much, etc.. Two reviews in support of the KluKKer from before.

At least nine told him how the hit count got so high in such a short time and where to look.

Accessing the Anime and Manga section on the Quadchan imageboard website revealed a long thread from the night before.

"Ho-ly SH----------------T!" Carl screamed inwardly. "There's got to be several hundred entries in this thread!"

"Hey gais!" The opening post began. "You are NOT gonna' believe the Haruhi crackfic porn I just read on the Otakufiction dot net site. This has got to be either the best or the worst EV-AR! The messiness, the racism, the scatness! Man you're gonna' either love or hate this story I'm tellin' ya'. It makes that Chibi-usa pornfic from years ago look absolutely tame!" (2)

Another paragraph gave out info on the story in more detail. After about two hundred replies and counter replies the thread was shut down by a moderator informing one and all to pick back up on the subject in the Hentai section. The thread(s!) there were over a THOUSAND replies!

The next hour had Carl frantically scrolling up and down the threads in both sections trying to get the general mood of the mob.

There wasn't any. Though not in the majority, quite a few liked it, some even trying their hand at a paragraph or two attempting to outdo Carls' grotesquerie.

Others "commented" on the various aspects and their likes and hates of them.

"Moralfags" of all stripes abounded trying to outdo one another in their condemnation.

Again several so-called Christians out and out condemned the story (Again, why the heck are you so-calleds even reading it?).

Feminists piled on with their "disgusting, exploitative, demeaning, insensitive, 'war on womyn' " schtick.

Other feminists countered with "porn being liberating".

Both feminoid factions (With atheists and deists sprinkling the mix.) condemning all males to hell and gone.

Carl could only wonder.

"To say feminists are bats--t crazy is an insult to bats! Or bats--t for that matter."

The SJWs (Social justice stormtroopers ... er ... warriors.) were out in force. Going off on racism and hate to capillarying off into tirades of their own various tangents about capitalism, colonialism, sexism, size-ism (Discrimination against fat people!), fascism (Excluding their own brands of course.) and any other "isms" they could come up with on the spur of the moment.

Conservatives screamed for banning porn altogether (Again, what are you doing in the hentai section?).

Liberals defended porn on the grounds of freedom of speech ... excepting, of course, the porn (Or free speech.) they didn't like ... Which ... at that moment ... was Carls'.

The Haruhiists' were up arms ... albeit in a "tongue in cheek" way. How dare this guy indulge in such desecration of the goddess (Only WE can do that!)!

Others cautioned it was only an anime. One poor fool used the "C" word (Cartoon!) and his "position" was promptly overran and destroyed by a small army of trolls.

And all through the threads ... various other trolls as well as the Quadchan regulars had a field day engaging, debating ... baiting. And riling things up in general. Pick and choose ... Pick and choose ...

Some posts came across as more than ominous. Suggestions on tracing the writer of the story and doing him some dirt and how, gave Carl a chill. One post purporting to be from a member of ... Anonymous.

Carl recalled the Hal Turner (White supremacist turned FBI informant.) and Scientology debacles as well as "members" of that "non-organization" being instrumental in messing up child porn sites and even causing ISIS some grief.

Things he HEARTILY approved of.

"Hmm ... anyone can claim to be with Anonymous. Still ... ." He silently thanked himself for having taken precautions. Except for that one time on the first day when he had only accessed the story as a guest from his home, he never looked at it unless he was in another town.

"Well ... In the words of Super Chicken ... ," mused Carl, "'You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.'" (3)

Heading home, he decided to not add any more "fuel to the fire", not even replying to reviews. The situation was fast going critical mass and beyond without any help from him.

"Yup! Chaos ... confusion ... hate and general discord," smiling to himself. "My work is done."



Sunday had Carl going about the rest of his weekend doing chores, tidying up, lounging around watching movies/'toons and generally trying to keep his mind off what may have been happening on Quadchan. As a further precaution, he decided to change passwords on his various net accounts. He doubted anyone could trace him but ...

Monday had him back at work. Lunchtime rolled around with him at a diner reading a copy of USA Today.

An article at the bottom of page one brought him up short ... Very short.


Carl picked his jaw up from the counter and continued reading.

While it was no secret that some Japanese government officials, including the present Prime Minister and a few in the Diet, were fans of anime and manga, it never occurred to Carl that any of them would "pick up" on his story let alone make a big stink of it. As it was, an English speaking lurker on Quadchan read the story a couple days previous and "relayed" it to a member of the lower house in the Diet. He in turn, passed it on to other members in both houses and the fracas took off from there.

So there it was ... Several Diet members, not all of them in the ruling party, were using the story to call attention to the problems with U.S. servicemen at Naha and Ginowan on Okinawa. Depravity, violence and immorality being vigorously denounced. One Diet member even took further offence over beloved anime characters from the last decade being used in such a degenerate work.

"Interesting they don't mention or question the morals, or lack of them, in their own manga and doujinshi industry," thought Carl. "A real blatant case of the kettle calling the pot black!"

The article went on for about a column in generalities equating anime/manga and hentay (sic) as one and the same and being nothing more than legalized child porn. It was obvious the American writer of the piece hadn't a clue as to what anime (Or, for that matter, hentai.) was about and had never gotten beyond the "Scooby Doo" stage in both knowledge or mentality about the subject.

On passing a news stand later in the day, Carls' curiosity made him step in.

"You gonna' pay for that bud? This ain't a lending library y'know."

"Huh? ... Oh!"

Carl unpocketed his wallet, giving the cashier the $2.50.

While not a fan of the New York Times (Now a shadow of its' former self.) he figured if anything was really newsworthy ("All the news that's fit to print", or gives them fits, after all.), it would be in the Times.

His relief of not seeing the story on the front page was VERY short lived on turning the page and finding it taking up just over half the space of the second.
Much more in depth than USA Todays', the Times article went into a detailed explanation not only how the story broke but on the anime/manga industry in general with brief explanations of the various facets thereof.

"Well," thought Carl, "at least they make a distinction between hentai and 'legit'."

Explanations of "fanfic" and other fan pastimes also displayed, Carl wincing on seeing photos of bad cosplay next to pics of angry Diet members haranguing in chambers.

A brief history of the past conflicts between U.S. military personnel and the local populaces of not only Okinawa but of bases in other parts of Japan was laid out.

Promises of planned protests later in the week ominously stated.

The presence of nuclear armed U.S. planes and ships based there also mentioned.

A later Times' Sunday edition in its' Arts and Leisure section would carry an extensive TWO AND A HALF page article addressing the various facets (Political, social, etc.) of the controversy and even more in depth detail of anime/manga and it's impact on the entertainment industry in general.

A later perusal of more newspapers at the local library that day was a waste of time though not anxiety. While the other papers had about the same non-depth of USA Today and thus the Times best informative, their printing the story at all at least told him the extent of the hornets nest he kicked.

Several of the articles (Times included.) mentioned that anyone at Otakufiction dot net could not be reached for comment.

To be continued ...

Storyline (only) copyright © 3-4-2016 C V Ford


1. Normally I'm definitely not one to push porn but credit where credit is due. Alfonso Lings' Haruhi-centric stories can be a fun read. Not the "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" crackfic stuff that frequents Fan Fiction dot net.

His best story in my opinion is the ten chapter "epic", The Movie Audition of Haruhi Suzumiya. Not as much a porno as it is a comedy/actioner. The vision of the sword wielding "nude avenger" can be ... inspiring. It's also one of his more "twisted" tales as you'll find in the latter chapters.

You'll never look at Haruhi quite the same way ... again.

2. The Chibi-usa (From Sailor Moon.) pornfic does exist out on the net somewhere. It's considered to be the worst pornfic ever done. No ... I'm not going to mention the title. It's that bad.

3. Super Chicken, a segment of Saturday mornings' animated series, George of the Jungle (Jay Ward Productions, 1967.).


The Porn Trolling of Haruhi Suzumiya Chapter: 1, 3, 4 Final Chapter.

Go to C V Fords' Anime Fan Fiction Page here.

Go to C V Fords' profile page and anime fan fiction stories list on Fan Fiction dot net here.

Go to Fan Fiction dot net here.

Go to Jays' Tee Vee blog main page here. Any articles under this 'un means you're already there.

Disclaimer: The preceding is a NON-PROFIT work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. I make no claim to ownership of the copyrighted names/characters, places, and events mentioned in this work. They are the sole properties of  their respective owners. Please, by all means support the owners of such properties in the purchase and enjoyment of their works.

No comments:

Post a Comment